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I wait for more, but he just bites his lower lip. His gaze satelliting all over my face.
“Was I… Was it alright?”
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. He wants a report?
Here? Now? There’s not enough air in this elevator to even breathe the filthy words popping into my head.
“What we did,” he elaborates. “Wh-what I did? You… didn’t say much.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he lets loose a nervous laugh and cringes. “You’re not saying much now.”
I didn’t say much. He turns me into a mute because the only responses that come to mind when I’m around him are from that voice I never knew I possessed.
I’ve certainly had to be firm with my staff at times. When they come to me with their personal problems, I’ve even managed patience and understanding, but in a professional manner. From now on, though, anytime Cameron speaks to me, I don’t think I’ll be able to not picture him on his knees, mouth stuffed full of my cock. And that… makes me want to be the director of an R-rated performance review meeting.
Fucking hell. I’m getting hard.
While I still don’t understand why his eagerness to please affects me like a horny caveman, it’s concerning now for a different reason. Watching him wait with bated breath for me to rate his technique makes me sad. Doesn’t he know his opinions are just as important?
“Pleasure is two-sided. You’re the one exploring. What did you think?”
I wanted to know if he would be bad at it, but, as the words leave my mouth, I realize I’m holding my breath for his verdict. I want to know if I was bad at it. I want to hear how he felt about his first anything with a man. I want to hear that he wasn’t disappointed.
His hand touches his lips. His gaze zones out to a place on my chest, and a ghost of a smile peeks out around his fingers.
“It was…better than I ever could have imagined,” he murmurs, as though he’s recounting a dream. “I’ve never been so turned on in my life.” He chuckles, cheeks tinted red when he looks at me. “I was starting to think there was something wrong with me, or maybe I could only get turned on by the thoughts in my head and not by another person.”
“You’ve never…” I blurt but stop myself. I don’t have the right to pry? Do I?
Shifting his stance, his blush creeps all the way up to his hairline. “I’ve come before with a woman, but…”
“But what?” a deep baritone leaves my lips. My voice sounds impatient and demanding. It sounds like it’s jealous at the thought of him being his pliable self for anyone else the way he was for me.
“But it… wasn’t easy, not like that. Not like with you,” he whispers with that tranced look in his eyes he had after he face-nuzzled my cock. “It’s like I had no control over it. Like it was…natural. I mean, that’s how it should be. Right? Hot and passionate. All-consuming.”
His eyes are desperate for confirmation that I don’t have. It’s the first time I’ve never had a sure answer to a question posed to me in this building.
I want to tell him yes, that if that’s the reaction he wants with a partner, he should settle for nothing less. Damned if I know if it’s possible twice in a lifetime, though. And damn him for telling Unleashed Pete everything he wanted to hear. I live for control. Control of myself. Knowing I have someone else’s reins makes me feel… normal.
Tugging at my collar, I shrug and avert my gaze. “Maybe it was a fluke,” I suggest.
The bubble of laughter that tumbles out of him has a rush of butterflies swarming my heart. It’s infectious. “I doubt it.”
I think I was just complimented, and I think it might very well kill me. Who’s the one acting smitten now?
“You’re an expert now?” I grunt, reaching around him to start the elevator moving again.
How long have we been standing here? Long enough for his fabric softener scent to go to my head and my nuts. That’s how long. My very not-looking-so-straight-anymore nuts.
“No, I just…”
His stammering draws my gaze back to him. He looks like a skittish intern, worrying his lip like that again, afraid to voice his thoughts. How in the hell did he ever survive a single day in the same house as Randy and John Fairway? They’d chew him up and leave his bones for the picking.
Where is the guy that had the courage to come to my office and then my house? That’s the kind of guy that he needs to be to get what he wants in life. Sighing, I tell myself it’s out of frustration, not pity.
“This whole experience pursuit will never work if you can’t even talk to a man without finishing a sentence.”
Blinking at my blunt advice, he sobers. His shoulders square, bringing his height back up the inch it tops mine. I watch his eyes hood and the way he licks his lips as he steps closer to me, mesmerized by his transformation from my words.
“I doubt it was a fluke because…because I’m turned on right now just from standing next to you, from looking at you, from smelling you.”
