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He finally stops the racket and takes his headphones off.
“Can you not do that?” I shout.
His eyes narrow. “Not do what? Exist?”
I roll my eyes. “You can exist all you want, but maybe without so much noise?”
“Oh.” He looks down at his mount. “Is the grass cutting bothering you?”
Was that sarcasm? “Yes! It would bother anyone with ears. Any chance you can do it some other time?”
He sighs. “The original plan was to do this before you checked in, but we know how that turned out.”
I match his sigh. “So… is that a ‘no?’”
He blows out an annoyed breath. “When would it be more convenient for you, Your Majesty?”
“Does it always sound like that?” I ask.
He gives me an irritated bob of the head.
I look at the perfectly reasonable height of the grass. “Can you do it after I leave?” A time he most likely awaits with great anticipation.
The guy scans the grass like he’s never seen it before. “If I don’t do it soon, someone from the HOA will moan, and they’re much more annoying than you.”
Is that a veiled compliment or an indictment of the HOA?
“Maybe you could do it while I’m away,” I suggest.
He wipes a few beads of sweat off his torso in an extremely distracting way. “And when will that be?”
I banish sweat-licking fantasies from my mind. “I’ll need to go get groceries soon.” Including more Advil, because my headache is just getting worse and worse, though my cramps have eased up somewhat. My uterus seems to be happier at the moment. No idea why.
“When is soon?”
“An hour?” I set a timer on my phone.
“Fine,” he says.
“Great. Now… do you know what that awful smell is?”
He sniffs the air before a hint of a smile touches his eyes. “The one reminiscent of rotten eggs?”
I nod.
“The sprinklers here use well water,” he says. “This is what it smells like.”
As if to confirm his words, wind blows in my direction from the sprinkler and tests my gagging reflex.
“Any chance you can run the sprinklers some other time?” I ask.
Do I sound entitled? If so, I blame him for that too—in that, he brings out the worst in me.
He curls his upper lip. “If it will suit Your Majesty, I’ll run the sprinklers before sunrise.”
“Great. Thanks.”
“Will that be all?” he asks, all but daring me to tack on something else.
