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as if he was everything she’d wanted for Christmas.
“Grip me, Holland. Tight.”
She closed her hand around his rock hard flesh and Dax’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head. She pumped his shaft, finding a rhythm that started a slow build in his system. Her grip felt both soft and firm, and he forced himself to look down, take in the sight of her giving him pleasure. Her nipples were hard, and he rolled his tongue around his mouth, remembering the feel of them. Then—dear god—she inched closer and spread her knees, bracing herself. The pose put her sex on display. That had been the sweetest pussy he’d ever put his mouth on.
She stared at his rigid length for a moment, held him in her hand, her blue eyes glazing over just before she leaned in, lips parted. Her pretty pink tongue peeked out and he nearly came right then and there.
Dax sucked in a breath, his entire body tensing with the grip of pleasure. Oh . . . hell.
He had to take back control. The way he felt now, he’d never last if she licked every inch of him.
His fingers tightened. “Stop. I want to feel you all around me. I want to make you come again before I do.”
“Yes,” she breathed. “I want that, Dax. I want that so much.”
He was going to have her. Finally. After all these years, he was going to make love to Holland Kirk. Then she would be his.
Somewhere in the back of his head, he worried that he was being selfish. He was committed to finding out the truth about his father’s scandal and death. He understood now that it would be dangerous. While he’d been fighting the asshole who’d taken her laptop, he’d practically sworn he would walk away from her. He’d even tried to leave her. For her sake.
But lost in her sweet scent and silky skin, he could barely remember now why that had seemed like a good idea. She was a capable woman, and he would do everything in his power to keep her safe. He would worship her and make any unpleasant part of the investigation worth her while. No one in the world mattered to him the way she did. She was the be-all, end-all of his existence. He’d done without her for nearly a decade. He couldn’t live without her anymore.
He hauled her up, his passion cresting as he lowered his mouth toward hers. Lust churned his blood as he kissed her, crushing her body against his. Finally, he could feel her bare flesh. Chest to chest, heart to heart. Hips met. Thighs touched. When he gripped her waist and pulled her closer, forcing her softest flesh against his cock, she felt soft and wet.
God, she was perfect.
He slanted his mouth over hers, tangling their tongues. He could spend hours kissing her. Later, he would. But he needed her now—so fucking badly.
He pressed her back against the bed before realizing he’d forgotten something. Damn it. He bent and fished out his wallet, happy that he’d started carrying an emergency condom there decades before.
One day he wouldn’t need it. Even as he opened the packet and began rolling it over his cock, Dax realized he didn’t want to wear one with her. He would for now. They needed time together to solidify what he knew in his heart. But one day he wouldn’t need that thin piece of latex to separate them. She would welcome him as he planted his seed. She would carry his babies. Together, they would have a family.
First, he had to convince her that they would work.
He wasn’t stupid. He knew that tonight wouldn’t solve their problems. They would still exist tomorrow. So he had work to do if he wanted to make her believe in them the way he did.
And he had decisions to make. After hearing about her mother’s sad life and Holland’s fears, maybe the time had come to exit the Navy. He would work in the private sector. Sure, he’d always believed he would retire as a Naval officer, but the idea of leaving Holland behind to keep the home fires burning for months on end didn’t sit well with him. He couldn’t imagine not spending time with her, not being here to protect her.
Maybe it should surprise him that she’d become more important to him than any career. It didn’t.
He secured the condom and climbed over her, spreading her legs and settling himself between her thighs. “I’m crazy about you, Holland.” He couldn’t divulge the true extent of his feelings. She wasn’t ready to hear them.
Her smile was lazy and sexy as she reached up for him. “Back at you, Spencer.” She touched his face and seemed to sober a bit. “I’m crazy about you, Dax. Have been since the day I met you.”
He pressed his stiff flesh against her soft opening, remembering the day. Joy had been dating Zack for a few months before Dax had gone out to San Diego for some R&R. The gang had been there, everyone meeting Zack’s girl for the first time, but all he’d been able to see was Holland. He couldn’t remember if the sky had been full of gloomy rain or brilliant sunshine. All he remembered was the yellow sundress she’d worn and the way her smile had lit up the room.
After tonight all he would be able to remember was how delicate she felt in his arms and how her eyes looked sleepy after she came even as she still welcomed him into her body.
Dax eased inside her hot, slick channel. Damn, she was so tight around him. He worked his way in, inch by inch, joining their bodies together. She wrapped her arms around his neck. When he pressed in deeper still, her eyes flared wide.
He froze. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Those nails of hers dug in slightly. “Don’t you dare stop. It feels good. So good. I’m not fragile, either. Don’t treat me like I am.”
She wasn’t weak, nor would she break if he was a little rough. She’d been built to take him, his need, his passion, then give it all back.
With a savage groan, he pushed inside her.
Fuck. It felt so perfect. So fucking right. He held himself still inside her, moving in to take her lips again. He slid his tongue against hers, showing her the rhythm he intended to use when he took her body. He thrust in and out of her mouth, just as he would the rest of her until he made a home for himself deep inside her soul.
He ground his hips against her as he started to thrust in sync with his kisses. Instantly, sensations swamped him. This was beyond anything he’d felt before. He was connected to her—and not just by their bodies. He could feel her all around him, her quiet reserve, her feminine strength, her intelligence, that sass she often hid.
Holland gasped and tightened her legs around him. She clung to him, her nails not so gentle on his back as he withdrew then sank deeper than before.
God, he loved it. He liked the little bite of pain from her nails as he ramped up the pace, shifting to hit the sensitive spot he’d found inside her. Her breath caught. She looked at him, stunned and needy, before she closed her eyes and cried out. She dug her fingers into his shoulders as she went over the edge. She couldn’t seem to help herself. And he’d done that to her, given her that pleasure. That jerked him off the leash. Dax let go of his restraint and pounded inside her.
She tightened again around him, her body tensing. She screamed his name.
His spine tingled and his whole body tensed. His heart slammed into his chest. Pleasure brewed, bubbled and rose, engulfing him in a torrent. It morphed into a consuming ecstasy that burst free and had him moaning with a guttural roar as he came. He gripped her as if he’d never let go and gave her everything he had, the bliss drowning him as it dragged him under in waves.
Timeless moments later, he dropped against her, completely spent.
She held him tight, panting from one breath to the next. “Are you sure that’s not why they call you Captain Awesome?”
Dax laughed. “Nope. That was all for you, sweetheart. And don’t think there isn’t more where that came from.”
He rolled to his side and kissed her again, determined to prove his point.
* * *
Dax’s mood was contemplative as he walked up the flower-lined path to his mother’s house. Earlier, Holland had headed into work, but he had the day off. He’d planned to ask some questions, poke around a bit, shake some tre
es. But he and Holland now had a deal. She would be leading the investigation. He would follow. It wasn’t comfortable exactly, but she was right. She had more experience with crime. And he trusted her to do the right thing.
Especially after last night. He’d made love to her over and over again. She’d felt perfectly right in his arms. In the morning light, he had to think about the repercussions.
Could he ask her to give up her career? Or give up his? It was naive to think that a long distance relationship could work for them. She wouldn’t know where he was most of the time and he wouldn’t be able to call or talk. That wasn’t a life she wanted. It wouldn’t make her happy. More than anything, that’s what Dax wanted to give her.
Their relationship was just starting out and despite the fact that they’d obviously wanted each other for years, he had to accept that sharing their feelings was new and what lay in their hearts was fragile. It could be easily broken.
“Good morning, son.”
His mother’s familiar voice jolted him out of his thoughts. Dax smiled and jogged up the big wraparound porch to join her. She sat in a rocker, a cup of coffee in her hands. Despite the earliness of the morning, she was already perfectly dressed in slacks and a silk blouse, her hair and makeup done with an expert hand.
“Were you waiting for me?”
She set the cup down on the saucer and placed them on the table beside her. “It wouldn’t be the first time I waited up for you. I have to admit, sending you to boarding school saved my sanity. I can’t imagine how I would have worried during your high school years.”
He grinned and took the adjoining seat. “It was for the best. How are you this morning?”
The smile on her face didn’t reach her eyes. “Lovely. Your friends are fun companions. Augustine arrived last night and the four of us had a very nice dinner before she adjourned upstairs to unpack. Gabriel and I played backgammon. He’s such a nice young man.”
“And Mad? Did he go out?”
His mother sighed. “No. I believe he turned in early.”
He was going to beat the shit out of Maddox, who was very likely not sleeping in his own fucking bed. “I’ll handle the situation, Momma.”
“Don’t you dare. Augustine has always been a spirited young lady. She’s smart. She knows what she’s doing.”
So did he. Gus was doing Mad. “She should have a little more respect.”
His mother frowned, chiding him with soft brown eyes. “Respect for what? For my tender feelings? I’m not an idiot, son. I know that Augustine has run through most of the men in this town, and god only knows what she’s been doing in D.C. Maddox is a lively young man who looks as if he knows what he’s about. I’m not upset with Gus, just a little envious. She has a career she loves and she’s good at it. She does what and who she likes, when she likes, and she doesn’t answer to anyone. I wish I’d had that freedom when I was younger.”
He hadn’t thought of it that way. “I’ll ask them to keep it down.”
His mother waved a hand. “Gus will likely tell me all about it when she gets up this morning. We’re quite close, you know. I listen with a good ear. Would you like to talk about your night? Did you finally properly make love to Holland? You better have treated her right, Dax. She’s a dear friend and I don’t believe she’s had any sexual relations lately.”
His jaw dropped and he couldn’t help but stare at his very genteel mother.
She reached for her porcelain cup once more. “Oh, wipe that shocked expression from your face. I’m not a prude. And I’m not foolish. I know why you’re really here. I was hoping Holland would distract you, but you’ve brought her into your little investigation, haven’t you?”
He forced his mouth closed and whispered a curse. “How did you know about that?”
She sighed. “I always knew you wouldn’t let it lie. It’s not in your nature. I doubt Gus has, either, though she’ll go about it differently. I don’t like to think about it much myself. I wish you would concentrate on your relationship with Holland. She’s such a nice woman. She would make a perfect wife for you.”
He agreed Holland would make a perfect wife if they could figure out their issues, but he had a job to do, too. He’d never meant to discuss this with his mother. Not until he’d cleared his father’s name. “You think he was guilty, don’t you?”
He couldn’t not ask the question. He needed to know. They’d sidestepped the issue so many times he couldn’t count anymore. It was finally time for the truth.
She looked away for a quiet moment, and Dax wondered if she’d go silent on the subject again. Finally, she set her cup aside and turned to him. She patted his hand with her own. “I loved your father. We were so in love in the beginning. But sustaining love can be difficult, son. Years go by, and one day you realize that you’ve changed. Your spouse has changed. You’ve grown apart.” She sighed. “Do I believe your father raped that girl? No. He didn’t need power over someone else to feel big and he didn’t have that sort of violent streak. Do I believe he could have been mistaken about her age and gotten into a situation he shouldn’t have? Yes. I do believe that because he’d done it many times before.”
Dax felt his gut twist. His father?
“Dax, I’m not trying to disillusion you or make you think less of your father,” his mother said quietly. “This is something I wish you never had to know. He was human. I know he seemed like he was larger than life and so heroic, but he was flawed like the rest of us.”
“Are you saying he cheated on you? And you knew it?” He could barely fathom that. His father had been a good man. Dax had built his whole life on the fact that his parents had been good people who loved each other and their children.
“Not at first. At least I don’t think so. But sometime after he hit forty, things changed. He had an eye for the younger ladies. He had several affairs, though they never lasted very long. I found out because one of the women contacted me. It was the only time I nearly divorced your father. He was careful, you see. He usually chose women who didn’t want more than a good time and some nice gifts. But this particular woman decided she wanted more. She wrote me and explained the situation. I sought a lawyer and threatened divorce. Your father talked me out of it. You were in college at the time. Gus had just started graduate studies at Harvard. A divorce could have derailed you both, so I stayed. I often wonder if that incident was what sent him to prostitutes.”
He felt as if he’d been kicked in the gut. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “You can’t know that or blame yourself.”
“If I’d ignored it or perhaps if I’d followed through, he might be alive today. He might not have walked into that seedy motel with that girl.”
He gripped his mother’s hand. “Momma, none of this is your fault. He was the one with the problem.”
Obviously more problems than Dax had imagined.
“I wish everything had been different,” she murmured, and sipped her coffee again.
Yeah, him, too.
They fell silent until a Benz pulled up, stopping in front of their house.
His mother patted his hand. “That’s my friend Gloria. We’re going to have a nice brunch and then go to afternoon bridge club. I’m so sorry I had to tell you that, Dax. I simply don’t want you to chase after some vindication only to get your heart broken. I love you very much.” She stood and he watched her school her face as she waved. “I’ll be back this evening. We’re having a lovely roast and the housekeeper made pecan pie. You bring Holland if you like. I know Gus would love to see her.”
Dax watched his mother stride down the walk to join her friend. He sat there, his whole world shaken.
The glow with which he’d started the day seemed a bit dimmer than before.
Had he really been so blind and naive? How had he never known his father had cheated? His father had lied, broken his vows, and left his own wife crushed.
Dax stood, feeling inexcusably weary. He needed a drink. G
od, it wasn’t even nine o’clock and he was going to have a Scotch.
He stepped inside. He could hear the housekeeper humming to herself in the kitchen. He avoided her. That wasn’t where they kept the good stuff anyway. The expensive Scotch was in his father’s office, that shrine to a man he now wondered if he’d ever really known.
Well, at least the booze had been stored there until his friends had shown up.
When he sauntered in, Gabe was sitting in the dining room, a cup of coffee beside him, tapping away on his laptop. He looked up, his tawny brows rising. “Welcome home, Captain. Did you visit a new port last night?”
He flipped his friend off and continued to the stairs.
“Wow, touchy. I wouldn’t go up there if I were you. Sorry, but Gus couldn’t be convinced it was a bad idea. Believe me, I tried.”
“Does Mad have the Scotch?” That was all he cared about at
