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Connor could love any woman.”
“Only the right one,” Dax whispered. “It’s that way with all of us. We’ll play and fuck and party until we meet the right woman—and then we’re done. Holland, let me take you to bed. Let me show you.”
Her body reacted to the sounds of lovemaking that filled the house. She wouldn’t be able to sleep next to Dax and not be with him. She’d been foolish to ever think she could be in the same room with that man and not touch him.
She nodded and tried not to think about the past.
Dax opened the door and tossed her on the bed, following her down onto the sea of soft bedding and fluffy pillows. He raised up enough to work open the fly of her jeans. The hiss of her zipper still lingered in the air when he dragged the denim over her hips. “Do you know how long I’ve been dying to see you like this?”
No matter what they did, the past was always there. “About two days?”
He shook his head as he unbuttoned her blouse and pulled the halves apart. He stared at her for a suspended moment before he palmed the lacy cup surrounding her breast with a reverence that brought tears to her eyes. “Always. Even when I was so mad I couldn’t see straight, I wanted you right here. I wanted you naked and spread out for me. I wanted to look down and know that this gorgeous body belonged to me.”
“You hated me.” She still couldn’t stand the thought. Yes, she’d planned it that way, pushing him to see her in a bad light. Sometimes she still pushed, trying to gauge the extent of the damage between them.
So far it all seemed one-sided on her part, and Holland wasn’t sure what to make of that.
He flicked the center clasp of her bra. A lone light shined in the room from a small table lamp and it cast shadows around them, making Dax’s body appear even more heavily muscled and predatory than usual. He settled himself on top of her, still wearing his jeans while he’d stripped her down to nothing but a bra and a filmy pair of panties. His every muscle seemed taut and there was a lean, hungry look in his eyes.
“Maybe.” He drew the cups of her bra to the side, freeing her breasts, exposing her peaked nipples. “I still wanted you. I wanted to fuck you until you couldn’t muster the energy to betray me again. On those long nights at sea, I would close my eyes and there you would be, spread out underneath me. You would beg me to take you back and offer me your body. And, oh, I would accept. I would brand you with my skin and you would never be able to leave my side again because everyone would know you were mine. In those dark hours, nothing mattered but making you pay and, sweetheart, I was definitely interested in my pound of flesh.”
Somehow he made the nastiest things sound so sexy. “Tonight isn’t about revenge.”
He cupped one breast. “No. It isn’t, but I still want to fuck you so long and hard that you can’t even think of another man again. I want to be the only man in your mind, your body, and your heart.”
She couldn’t tell him that he’d already achieved his goal. Even when she’d dated another man, she hadn’t forgotten Dax. No one would ever match him. “Touch me. No one touches me the way you do.”
He palmed the other breast. “No one cares about you the way I do, Holland.”
It was true. She could pretend that her desire stemmed simply from the fact that he was so damn good in bed. But she’d learned that his passion and skill in bed meant nothing without the emotional connection they’d found.
Maybe it had been severed when they parted. Maybe it wouldn’t come back.
He leaned in and his naked chest met her breasts. “You’re everything to me. When I was bleeding in the Crawford building after being shot, the only thing I could think about was you. I couldn’t imagine dying without seeing you one last time.”
The idea of a world without Dax filled her with complete denial and terror.
Holland clung to him tightly as his mouth descended on hers. She let go of her reservations, her barriers. No more talk of the past or the future. She couldn’t handle it tonight.
Instead, she looped her arms around his back to find the smooth skin there. She traced the long line of his spine as she kissed him back with everything she had. Their tongues tangled as her nipples hardened, begging for his attention. “Please, Dax.”
He nipped at her ear, the sensation flaring along her skin. “Please what?”
“Kiss me all over. It’s been so long.”
“How long? Never mind. I don’t care. What you did with that asshole doesn’t matter to me. I only care that you’re with me now.” He kissed the shell of her ear, dragging his tongue over the sensitive flesh there.
She shivered. He was right. All that mattered was the here and now. She had to stop thinking about anything except how good it felt to be in his arms in this moment.
He kissed his way down her neck, leaving a trail of heat wherever he touched her. He forced her legs apart, making a place for himself between her thighs. The roughness of his denim rubbed against her damp folds. Only those thin panties shielded her and they did nothing to disguise his thick erection jutting against her.
“It feels so good to be here with you.” His low voice rumbled over her breast as the heat of his mouth caressed the skin around her peak. “Like finally, finally coming home.”
Holland concentrated on sensation as his tongue laved her nipple and tried not to think about his words. They were too sweet and they dragged her from the now into insane thoughts about the future.
She rolled her hips, needing the friction to take her higher. The frenzy she always felt when he touched her, took her, was already starting. The desperate need to feel him inside seized her.
But he seemed determined to take his time. He pinned her down, his body pressing her deliciously into the comforter. “Are you going to go wild for me?”
“I already am.” She couldn’t play coy or pretend.
Now that she’d made the decision to give him her all, she couldn’t stop touching him. She hated the scant clothing still between them. It felt wrong. Nothing should come between them when they were alone together. They should spend hours naked and entwined.
“You’re going to have to wait until I’m ready.”
“Dax.” She pressed her hips up, grinding against his hard erection. “You feel ready.”
“Not even close.” He sucked her nipple into his mouth as he forced her back down.
He tormented the tips of her breasts, his body infuriatingly still. Tingles brewed between her legs. As he brushed her hair from her face and murmured her name, Holland felt dangerously adored. Dax must know it, but he just piled on the torture, licking and sucking, moving between her nipples until she wanted to scream out her need. Every time she skidded toward the edge, he pulled back, contenting himself with a kiss, a caress, a sweet nip on her aching buds.
“Please, Dax,” she panted, feeling feverish and restless. “I can’t take it anymore.”
He lifted his head, lips curling in an arrogant grin. “What do you want from me?”
“You know what I want.” She clawed at his back.
“I want to hear you say it.”
Of course he did. And in that moment, she wasn’t too proud to let him hear it. “Fuck me.”
He shook his head. “Can’t yet. I need to taste you again. All over again. It’s been so long. I can’t move on until I remember just how sweet you are on my tongue.”
She wanted to scream in frustration, but Dax was already sliding down her body, leading with his mouth, kissing his way over her breasts and to her belly. His tongue delved into her navel briefly before he licked his way to the elastic edge of the panties clinging to her hips.
She peered down the length of her body. He stared back up, those chocolate orbs meltingly intense. Their eyes met. The connection flowing between them jolted her.
“I’ve never gotten the taste of you out of my mouth.” He dipped his fingers under the waistband of her panties, tugging them down. When they wouldn’t move any fart
her, he simply ripped them off.
“Damn it, Dax. Those were my only pair of undies.”
“You don’t need them when you’re with me. I want to keep you just like this. Open, ready for me. God, you smell so good.” He nestled his nose right in her pussy, breathing deeply.
If anyone else had done that, she’d likely squirm and try to wriggle free or distract him. Not Dax. With him, her hips moved of their own accord, lifting to offer him everything. It wasn’t wrong for him to bury his nose there. Nothing was too intimate between them.
Holland tossed her head back. She wanted this, ached for his mouth on her. Needed him so desperately. She could feel how wet she was. Her pussy pulsed in anticipation, and he was the only one who could send her hurtling into screaming ecstasy. He was the only one who could make her heart ache.
He pressed her thighs apart. “If I had my way, you would never wear panties again. You wouldn’t ever leave this damn bed again. I would keep you right here, always ready for me. Always sweet for me to taste you. You’re my favorite treat.”
As he breathed, his hot exhalations spread over her pussy. She fisted the comforter, trying to hold in a whimper. But it was impossible. She begged without a word, her whole being focused on his generous mouth. He had full, sensual lips that shouldn’t belong on a man. They, along with the rest of the package, made him far too sexy to deny.
He was also a man who liked to hear her talk dirty. She was willing to do it for his pleasure.
“Please, Dax. Please put your mouth on me. Lick me. Make me scream.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, his Southern drawl arousing her even more, “I can do that.”
He lowered his head and his tongue into her vulva, dragging up toward her clitoris. He stopped just shy, pausing to exhale his hot breath over her again. Holland bit back a scream. But he wouldn’t give in or be rushed. He was far too stubborn and determined to make her pay. He clearly intended to extract his pound of flesh, waging a sweet war by using her own body against her.
He wouldn’t let her up until he was satisfied. And unless she was willing to fight with him, she could do nothing but give in and let him have his way.
Finally, Dax dragged his tongue over her clitoris, warm and soft, and she couldn’t muster the strength to fight him a second longer. She liked being helpless and at his mercy. She had to stop trying to control things between them and simply let them be for as long as they remained together.
Holland relaxed as his fingers parted her slick flesh, allowing him full access to her feminine core. His tongue pierced her. So good. The intimacy, the sensations, felt beyond anything she’d remembered. How had she forgotten for a second what this man could make her feel? So far beyond mere pleasure, being with Dax hit her square in the chest, right in the heart. Had she ever really been out of love with him?
She was so cold and intellectual most of the time. Given her occupation, she had to be. But with Dax, she couldn’t seem to take a mental step back. He made her feel like the center of the world, like she was the only one who mattered to him. When she was with him, no one else mattered to her.
Dangerous thoughts, but she was past caring.
His thumb found her clit and he started to rub in sweet circles. “I want you to come for me. I’ve never been able to forget your flavor when you do.”
He pressed down as his tongue thrust deep inside her. Ecstasy spiked and bliss rolled through Holland as she gave herself over to the orgasm. The tidal wave of pleasure racked her body and shook her deeper, leaving her stripped before Dax and so very vulnerable.
Even as she floated down from the high from her climax, Dax doffed his jeans and returned, a condom in hand. She watched as he rolled the latex over his cock and climbed between her thighs.
“I never feel more like a man than when I’m in bed with you.” He fitted his cock to her opening and started to press inside. “Hell, I never feel more like me than when I’m with you, sweetheart. Missed you so much.” He moved in, filling her in one long thrust.
Holland clung to him and gasped, feeling so full. God, she’d been empty for too long. Now she not only felt full . . . but complete.
She brought him closer because he was still too far away. “Kiss me. Please, Dax.”
“There’s nothing I love more than that.” He gave her his weight, his body pressed to hers as she wrapped her legs around his lean waist.
She needed more of him. She plunged her fingers into his hair and drew him as close as two people could possibly be. Mouths fused together, breasts to chest, his cock deep inside her.
It didn’t matter that she’d just come. Holland felt the urge building again, the need ratcheting up with every deep, rhythmic slide inside her until she clawed at him. He kissed her as his hips worked, grinding and thrusting. She rocked with him, following his every motion with ease.
Everything about this moment with him took her breath away. It was as if they’d never ended the relationship and never stopped making love. In this, they were still one.
He grabbed her hips and captured her mouth again as he thrust up hard. Holland went flying all over again, clinging to him and calling out his name. He lost control, plunging inside her again and again until he finally stiffened and roared out his own pleasure.
As they came down from the euphoric high in a tangle of breaths and sweat-dampened limbs, he sighed in satisfaction against her skin. “I’ve needed that for three years.”
She held him close but said nothing because she was fairly certain she’d need him for the rest of her life.
Despite the pleasure still humming through her, she was afraid.
* * *
Dax woke up with a smile on his face.
Was there anything a night of amazing lovemaking couldn’t cure? He was fairly certain there wasn’t. He hadn’t merely had sex with Holland or simply fucked her. They’d made love—three times, in fact, before she’d fallen into an exhausted sleep.
He turned on his side, careful not to wake her. She was deep in slumber, her body nestled against him. He wondered if she knew how much she resembled a soft little kitten when she slept.
Here, when she was most vulnerable, she trusted him. What would it take for him to win that trust back all the time?
“Are you watching me sleep?” she murmured with her eyes closed.
He couldn’t help but smile. They were in the middle of a damn murder investigation, trying to unravel a conspiracy that might reach all the way to the White House, but he was grinning like a loon. “Yes.”
“Weirdo.”
Maybe, but he was her weirdo.
Dax sighed. They could stay in bed longer. Whatever was going on in the outside world could wait another thirty minutes. Besides, Connor would knock if something really craptastic had happened. Hell, Connor was probably finding delicious ways to wake up his own wife.
Wife. He meant to marry Holland, and they would do it right. No more quickie-Vegas shit. He and Holland would have a real wedding. He would wear his dress whites and she would find some gorgeous bridal gown. Gus would likely be the maid of honor and sleep with every groomsman she could.
“What are you laughing about?” She stared at him suspiciously with one eye open.
He sighed and settled against her, kissing her shoulder. “I was just thinking that Gus is going to be an interesting maid of honor.”
Holland went still beside him. “Maid of honor? Who’s getting married?”
Damn it. Would he ever get this right with her? He rolled over, his head propped on his hand. “Us.”
“Us?” She sat up, tugging the covers around her body.
Which left him naked. Luckily, he didn’t mind and it wasn’t exactly chilly. He’d been warm lounging against her, and his cock was already straining. “Eventually. Sorry, I know that wasn’t exactly romantic, so forget I said anything. Come back to bed.”
“You’re thinking about marriage.”
“Of cours
e I am, Holland. I never stopped wanting to marry you. That can’t be a secret, so what’s wrong? Like I said, I know I’m not very romantic, but you don’t want me to do the whole crazy dancing thing in the middle of the Quarter.”
She stiffened, then stood and turned to him. “I never asked for marriage, Spencer.”
