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He’d left the chair and was looking out of the window, something I’d noticed he liked to do when he had hard news to share.
“We think it’s time for you to meet with your uncle.”
His back was to me, so he didn’t see how hard I flinched or how my hand fluttered to my throat. Flashes of blood and gore, violence and rage rushed through my mind, tapping every fear I’d ever had where my beast was concerned. I hadn’t faced my uncle since his men had brought my beast to her knees after killing the pack of ferals around me. His soldiers had been a fraction of a second away from decapitating me—or, at least, were ready to try. My uncle had been screaming for me to shift back to myself. I’d managed, somehow, to pull myself out of her rage and force her back into her cage so I could be present again. I think that’s the only thing that saved my life that day. The look of horror on my uncle’s face at seeing my transformation was enough to scar me alone, but knowing that all around me were the remains of my fellow wolves left a wound that had never healed.
“I can’t go back there.” It slipped out, and I hated how weak I sounded. “I don’t know what my beast will do.”
Even now, with just the mention of my uncle, my beast rattled the cage, clawing to get out, eager for justice, revenge, blood.
Kane’s shoulders hunched. I knew he hated it when I referred to my beast as a separate entity. No matter how many times we tried to use the mental threads to connect me and her, there was still something missing. I hated going into her psyche…my psyche, that part of me who was an unhinged beast.
Even though they said otherwise, the men all thought what I needed was a bite from them. I knew Levi was convinced that the drawings he’d studied depicted that level of connection, a bonding bite, to really have an impact. Even if what he told me was different, I knew, deep down, that’s what he ultimately wanted. I knew Johnny thought it would only strengthen us all if we committed with a bite. Kane? He was after possession and made no excuses about it.
I chose to resist their theories. I might have been cool with submissive games in dreamland or, one day maybe, in my bedroom, but I wasn’t so easily swayed with that kind of submission in real life.
“You’re going on a mission with Johnny…to your uncle’s. I’ve already made arrangements. You’ll maintain control over your beast side,” Kane said, his voice firm, like he was giving a command. I might have believed that it was the only way he knew how to speak, but I’d heard him when he was tender, after we’d played and fucked and satiated one another in my dreams.
“Your uncle may hold information about Andrew’s whereabouts.” To him this was non-negotiable duty. I would go to find out what my uncle knew, because it was what Kane wanted me to do.
“I don’t see how. He and Andrew were never close.” I was grasping at straws because I really didn’t know what kind of relationship Andy and my uncle Gareth had had in the last three years.
Kane shot a hard look over his shoulder. “You know your uncle was planning on bidding on you, too, right?”
His words floored me. No. No. Not again. I stumbled back, banging up against the side of the couch. My knees gave way, and I slumped down on the arm rest.
Leave it to Kane, landing a sucker-punch to get his point across.
“He was planning on taking you for himself, finishing what he started three years ago at his compound…bypassing consent.” Kane turned to me, and I watched warily as he moved closer. “Men like him will not be denied… Men like him have something to prove.” Kane cracked his knuckles. “I’d say it’s time for a chat with the man. Let him know what you think of his behavior.”
I knew he was trying to rile me up, to get my blood pumping, wanting revenge, but I was exhausted—not physically, but emotionally. I couldn’t go back there. I couldn’t face the memories. The ghost of bloodshed would be everywhere. It would be a fist to the heart all over again.
I couldn’t go back there because my beast was spiraling, even as we spoke, and I knew I’d lose control. I knew there would be blood on my hands once again.
“I can’t go after every man who has wronged me.”
Kane’s eyes flashed a rusty red. “Why not?” He yanked me up by the arm and gave me a shake that rattled my brain enough to piss me off. “You’re telling me that you’d rather hide in a hole and pretend that these men don’t deserve your wrath?”
“What’s the point?” I tried to shrug but his grip tightened. “It’s not like bringing down my uncle will do anything. Men like him are everywhere.”
“What’s the point?” Kane barked. “Are you for real?” He glared, and I could practically see sparks flying. “You’re meant to be all powerful, Charlotte. You are meant to be the—”
“Savior of all female wolves… Yeah, yeah…” I tried to tug my arm away but he wasn’t letting go. “It’s a fantasy. Your fantasy. I can’t do it.”
“Wha—?”
“I can’t even keep my beast under control!” I yelled then pushed him back using a partial shift to get his brick-house body to move an inch. “It’ll start a war!”
He released my arm but leaned into me, so close that spit hit my face. “So let her loose. Stop being so fucking terrified. Start. A. War.”
Floored by his words, my mouth opened, then closed, no sounds tumbling out. He held my stare, unflinching.
“It’s the men who have wronged you who should be feeling fear.”
“So, what? You want me to stroll over to my uncle’s place and give him a piece of my mind?” I waved my arms around chaotically, scrambling to follow his logic. “Then if my beast decides she wants a taste, which she will because I’ll be freaking the fuck out, I’m just supposed to let her go?”
Kane pulled back enough for me to take in his expression. His eyes were alive, heat pouring out of him. His lips curled. I almost expected to see his fangs poking out.
“Oh fuck, that’s exactly what you think should happen.”
