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I stumbled my way to the back cabin, not because the plane wasn’t steady but because my pent-up frustration was pulsing against instinct to let my beast side out to take over and go primal. No matter how hard I pretended to be okay, I wasn’t.
“You got me into this mess,” I growled at myself. Her primal instincts. Her insatiable demands. I should never have agreed to meld her into my psyche. I should never have given into her needs. She forced me to bite them. She made it seem right. She should be in a cage. Locked up forever.
My stomach lurched at that thought, a traitor to myself.
She is me and I am her. We are one.
Act like it.
I leaned against the door to the back cabin, resting my exhaustion against the frame.
We’d given Ruby a healthy dose of werewolf level tranqs before we’d boarded the plane, and she was still asleep. She looked peaceful, despite the sheen of sweat on her face. Her eyelids fluttered restlessly, but that was the only indication that something was off.
I pushed away from the door then moved to the side of the bed. My fingers twitched, but instead of touching Ruby’s face, I laid two fingers against her throat to check her pulse. It was still too high, too surgy. She might look like she was resting, but her body was revving, trying to prepare her for the change that was two moons away. I slid onto the bed next to her then took her hand, entwining my fingers with hers.
“I’m so sorry, Rubes.” She couldn’t hear me, I knew that, but she was in this situation because of me, and I needed her to know that I was going to do everything I could to help her.
Except, the only person who would know what to do was Levi, and he had his own issues to deal with.
Because of me.
I should have disappeared. As soon as I knew Sal had taken over the clan, I should have gotten on a plane and left Canada. I didn’t need the money. I could have gone into hiding and none of this would have happened.
Ruby was going to die if we didn’t find a way to ease her transition. The fact that she was going to become a werewolf was an afterthought. If she made it through to the other side, explaining to her that her life as she knew it was over would be heartbreaking. I wished I could cling to the delusion that she’d survive. She was strong, healthy and stubborn enough to make it through, but sometimes that wasn’t enough. I’d seen bigger, meaner men fail to transition successfully.
The truth was that the bite mattered, and Ruby’s had been a by-product of Andrew’s, the bite of a transitioning human not the bite of a werewolf.
Selfishly, I wanted her to live…to be with me.
I should have wanted to ease her pain so she could die with dignity instead of what was coming for her. Either way, she was doomed. And she didn’t ask for this. No sane human would.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wiped them away with my sleeve, but they wouldn’t stop coming. I was weak—too soft to rule a clan, too messed up to lead anyone. How many people had to suffer because of my issues?
I should have remembered that when people got involved with me, they ended up dead. My mother. My father. Now Ruby. I couldn’t let my mind wander to Levi and Johnny. That shit would tear me to pieces.
My phone buzzed. I sniffled, wiped my tears again then looked at the screen.
Bite her.
I blinked away new tears then brought my phone closer to my face as if that would change the message from Levi.
My phone rang, and I immediately accepted the call. “Levi, I’m sorry. I’m sorr—”
“You have to bite her,” he rasped. “It’s the only way to stabilize her.”
“I can’t!” My heart was in my throat, thudding like it wanted to escape. “That’s insane!”
Ruby grimaced, no doubt reacting to my raised voice. Her eyes stayed closed, but her expression was pained.
“Look at what it’s done to you,” I tried to hush myself, but my words sound garbled. “Biting her will make things worse.”
“No—” He groaned, his next words muffled.
“Levi!” I couldn’t keep my voice down. Panic seized me like a chokehold. “Levi, what’s happening? Answer me.”
Kane appeared at the door, his chest heaving. “What’s going on?”
“Charlie,” Levi rasped, his voice raw. “You…have…to…mark…her.”
