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His fingers worked the button on my pants, and he slipped the leather past my hips, lifting my legs out of each hole one foot at a time. My body felt far away—heavy—yet with every soft touch, every gentle caress, Talon unknowingly kept me tethered to reality. I knew it should’ve elicited a feral response, but nothing registered. My skin didn’t smolder, my belly didn’t flutter. I felt nothing. I was nothing.
The room seemed to grow brighter, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Am I defective? Has my mind finally shattered? I should feel something. Anything. I dug as deep as I could in search of an inkling of emotion but came up empty-handed.
Talon didn’t try to remove my undergarments. Instead, he turned off the water and helped me into the tub, sitting at the edge.
I sank into it, savoring the warm caress as it kissed my body.
The water turned pink as the blood lifted from my skin while Talon gently scrubbed my arms and back with a rag. Time stilled, transporting me back to the Dolorem River, where Lilian’s lifeless body had laid. To the mirror maze right after Kelvin snapped Lewis’s neck and the cold touch of Sage’s porcelain skin. Now Breana.
Talon might be able to wash away the proof, but what was the point if the memories remained?
“Tilt your head back.” He lifted my chin to meet his demand, pouring water on my hair—the tub was now a deep shade of red. Even the droplets of water that rolled down my bare arms held the familiar crimson hue. Tears welled over.
This should be my blood.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but it’s going to be okay. Take this sadness, this anger, and pour it into the trials. Harness it.” He sounded so strong. I wanted some of that strength. Yearned for it now more than ever.
Reach within, Elowyn.
I choked. “Yeah, that’s easy for you to say.”
Talon brought the rag up to my cheek—concern wrinkled his forehead. Stars knew I didn’t deserve his kindness, and guilt tore at my chest.
“It won’t be easy—it’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, but you must keep going. Don’t let it all go in vain.”
It already felt like it was. There was nothing but a bleak emptiness I wasn’t sure would ever go away. Silence encompassed me as I sunk down to my ears. From the beginning, I’d known this day would come. One of us wouldn’t walk out of a trial. But seeing the evidence swirling around my body and singeing the air with a metallic taste felt different from how I’d convinced myself it would be.
Talon brushed the wet hair away from my face, his sharp features softening, but he kept his thoughts to himself. I appreciated that about him, his ability to observe. To see me. That small, quiet part of me that yearned to be taken care of craved more.
More gentle caressing looks.
More unspoken understanding.
More.
He warmed something long forgotten. My hold on reality was slipping, yet something told me if I were to fall into the darkness, he’d be there to catch me. It was wrong. Selfish. How could I crave comfort—crave his touch—when Breana’s family would never see her again? They’d never have closure, nevertheless comfort.
What kind of person did that make me?
Talon finished washing the rest of the blood off my body until my skin was raw and helped me out of the tub. “Are you able to get dressed?”
I nodded, hugging the towel he wrapped around my body close to my chest.
“Good. You should get some rest. I’ll come check on you later, okay?”
I wished that it wasn’t so hard to express my feelings. To tell him how much his kindness meant to me, but there I stood, tongue-tied. Wanting yet failing, per usual. “Thanks,” was all I could muster just before he paused, turning around to face me, “for helping me,” I fumbled. “You didn’t have to do any of this, but I, uh, it means a lot. So, thank you.”
He dipped his head, onyx strands brushing the tip of his nose. “Someone has to make sure you don’t destroy the entire realm.” Talon winked. “Get your rest now, firefly.”
It had been twenty-four hours, sixteen minutes, and five seconds since Breana was murdered. Not that I was keeping track. No, I was desperately trying to forget. Forget about the trial—and my existence. This corrupt faerie realm. And its handsome guards. How each day that passed, my mother was only getting more and more sick.
Turning onto my side, I pushed the pillow into my face, blocking out the harsh afternoon sun that assaulted my window. I’d slept practically every minute since Talon helped bathe me. Though I never bothered to change.
Even now, I hated I was awake. However, hunger gnawed at my stomach, making it impossible to get comfortable.
Throwing the pillow across the room, I reluctantly sat up. A shimmering note on my bedside table caught my attention.
Hope you got enough rest.
