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At night, over dinner, we would have long conversations that were personal and intimate. She asked me about my family and about who I am. She was finally wanting to get to know me.
I found myself enjoying having someone to talk to. Finally. I want to share who I am with her. I want her to know me, the real me. I cannot share most of my thoughts with my brothers. We are close, but not as close as that. I want to share those moments with Jennifer.
Yes, we were still arguing, she was still as stubborn as she has always been, yet something changed, and I felt her allowing me to treat her in the way she deserves to be treated.
Then that night happened. I did not plan it, but I knew it was coming. I knew that I would not be able to hold back on the sexual tension that had been growing between us. I know she felt it too. She was even playful about it sometimes, and although she would quickly regain herself in those moments, on that night there was no question in my mind that she wanted it as badly as I did.
And now I am consumed by thoughts of her.
I find myself waking up with a smile on my face. I get up in the mornings feeling happy and excited to start the day, knowing she is here with me. This feeling is foreign to me.
That night changed everything for me. I felt like I had broken down a wall that was built between us. I felt like she finally let me in and that things will now progress between us. She understands now that she belongs to me. She is mine. And I will do anything for her.
I carry a cup of coffee through to her bedroom. I am always up before her, and she always takes a while to wake up properly. She sits up in bed with her wild hair and sleepy eyes. I love seeing her like this. “Good morning, little rabbit.”
She blinks at me, only mildly awake.
I grin, placing her coffee on the bedside table and allowing the aroma to drift towards her. I reach out and touch her face. “Did you sleep well?”
But she turns her face away from me. It cuts my heart.
I drop my hand, confused. Perhaps she did not sleep well. Perhaps she just needs time to wake up. I stand. “Have some coffee. I’ll give you a chance to wake up a bit in peace. Then join me for breakfast. I’ve had them set the table on the deck overlooking the pool. It’s a beautiful day.”
She nods and I knit my brows together, worried by her expression and seemingly-off demeanor.
I sit out at the breakfast table waiting for ages before she finally comes out. I stand up and pull out her chair for her. She murmurs, “Thank you.”
Still standing behind her I lean over her, my hand over her throat as I tilt her head back and press my lips against hers.
She breathes in sharply and turns her face away.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“We can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not right.”
“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it the other night.”
I sit down opposite her, feeling frustrated and annoyed.
“The other night was a mistake,” she says. “It should never have happened.”
I shake my head. “It was not a mistake.”
“It was, Kiril. I should never have let it happen.”
She is pushing me away again. Just when I thought things were going to change and we were going to start getting closer she is switching back to holding me at a distance and being cold towards me.
I can’t let that happen.
For whatever reason, she is uncountable with physical intimacy. Perhaps what happened was as intense for her as it was for me and it scares her, so I will give her space in that sense. But I won’t let her pull away emotionally as well.
She was just getting to know me. I want her to know me. The more she gives me that chance to show her who I am and how deeply I can feel, and how I can take care of her, the more she will understand what she has right in front of her.
“That’s alright, little rabbit,” I tell her. “It won’t happen again unless you want it to.”
