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“I feel bad. I’m so sorry your night was ruined. We were supposed to, well, you know. We could still go over to your house if you want.”
I hold up my hands to stop her, then pull her into my arms. “Hey. It’s okay. Everything isn’t always going to go according to plan. We’ll make up for it another day. For tonight, your Daddy is going to coddle you. I’m going to get you changed into a diaper and some pajamas that make you feel Little. Then I’m going to hold you while we talk for a bit. After that, I’m going to read you a bedtime story before I tuck you in.”
She tilts her head back to look up at me. “But, what about you? You’re not getting anything out of it.”
My eyebrows shoot up as I stare down at her. “Excuse me?”
“You’re not getting anything out of taking care of me. You have needs too.”
I tilt my head to the side and slide my hands from her back up to her face so she’s forced to keep her gaze on me. “Little girl, let’s get one thing straight. Taking care of you, being able to Daddy you, getting you ready for bed, all of that is stuff that means the world to me. I get a lot out of it. Being a Daddy isn’t about sex for me. I mean, yes, I want to do filthy things with you, but that isn’t the main focus. I love the caring side of being a Daddy. It makes me feel good. Feel needed. And it’s comforting for me in a way too. So don’t ever say I’m not getting anything out of it. I’m getting as much out of it as you. Understand?”
Her mouth falls slack, and she tries to nod, but my hold on her face is too firm. I know I got through to her, so instead of saying anything more, I lower my mouth to hers. She sucks in a breath and sighs as she starts to kiss me back. It’s gentle and lingering, and my cock is painfully hard, but despite nothing sexual happening tonight, I’m right where I want to be.
When I pull back, we stare at each other for several moments before I clear my throat. “I’m sorry today was rough.”
She blinks slowly and nods. “She remembered who I was for a while today. We talked like everything was normal. It was wonderful. But the rest of the day was…hard.”
I nod. “When’s the last time your mom saw her doctor?”
“I took her when I first got back to Pine Hollow. Her doctor explained some stuff about dementia, but at the time, Mom seemed to have a lot more good days. I need to make her another appointment, but I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of, baby?” I pull her into my arms and sit on the edge of the bed, bringing her down with me so she’s on my lap.
“I guess I’m afraid they’re going to tell me she needs to be put in a medical facility.”
She leans her head against my chest. I glide my hand up and down her back. “Why does that scare you?”
When she doesn’t answer right away, I wait while she gathers her thoughts.
Finally, she sighs and drops her shoulders. “What kind of daughter am I if I put my mom in a home?”
Her feelings are valid. I hated seeing my parents move from the house where they lived for forty years into independent senior living. Nobody ever seems to talk about all the guilt you feel when your parents get older, and you have to start making decisions for them or guide them in the right direction. But if it hadn’t been for me, Nash, and Greer expressing our concerns to our parents about them living in such a big house and having to maintain it all by themselves, they may not have ever moved. And now, they love where they live. They’ve made so many friends and the facility has all kinds of activities for people their age. It would be different for Summer’s mom since she needs more care, but at least she’d be safe and have people who know what they’re doing to be there for her.
“Baby girl, you can’t do it all yourself. Maybe you don’t have to move her into a medical facility. Maybe there are at-home nurses who can come here to take care of her. Plus, I’m here to help, and all our friends would be happy to help too. You don’t have to do all this alone.”
Her face is buried in my chest, but the slight sniffle I hear rips my heart in two. Gently, I pull her away from me so I can look at her. She’s so damn sad. I hate it.
“I don’t like it when my Little girl is sad.”
She sniffles again. “I don’t like being sad either.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes with me gently rocking her in my arms. She feels so perfect against me. Like she belongs here. And I’m pretty sure she does.
“Did you really mean it when you said you’re here to help?” she asks quietly.
“I meant every word. Baby girl, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, and I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me. I told you I didn’t have feelings for you when I really did. It killed me to let you go, but you deserved so much better. You still do. I don’t think I can let you go a second time unless you don’t want me anymore. But whether you want me or not, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to help and be here for whatever you need. I care about you, baby, and I care about your mom. I’m sorry I haven’t been around these past few months. I thought keeping my distance was for the best, but I can’t stay away from you.”
When she doesn’t say anything right away, a weight starts forming in my stomach. Does part of her hate me for pushing her away so many years ago? I wouldn’t blame her.
“Are you saying you did have feelings for me back then?” she asks.
A smile pulls at my lips, and I lean down to kiss the top of her head. “I am. I lied to you when you asked, and I’m so sorry. I’ve never stopped having feelings for you, Summer. I didn’t want to hold you back from everything you wanted and deserved.”
“I wanted you, Dane. And I don’t know what makes you think you aren’t worthy. You’re the best man I’ve ever known.”
“I can’t give you everything you deserve in life.”
She pulls back and looks at me. “What is it that you think I deserve that you can’t give me?”
