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“I thought we talked about this.” My voice is tight as we dance around the same conversation we’ve been having. “I have to do this until Camila is ready to take over.”
“I know you do.” Zoe takes off her shirt and wrings it out, water pooling on the ground. “That’s not what I asked, though. I’m not asking you to walk away. I know this is important to you. I’m asking if you ever get tired of it all.”
I sigh. If only she knew how exhausted I am of all of this.
“Of course, I do.” I reach out to tuck a strand of her wet hair behind her ear. My heart pounds in my chest as she looks away from me. “I’m tired of having to kill people all the time, but this is the way that it is right now. I don’t have another choice. Not yet.”
She nods. “I know. It’s only going to be a matter of time, but I needed to know that this bothers you as much as it bothers me. I need to know that there’s still a human heart beating in there.”
The words cut deep, but I understand where she is coming from.
To the rest of the cartel, I have to be the heartless killer. The man who will do whatever it takes to protect everyone around him.
And I am that man at the end of the day, but those deaths still weigh on me.
“I am the monster I am because that’s what I need to be. As my wife, you need to learn to be just as ruthless because time will come when you have to choose between your life and someone else’s.”
Zoe says nothing, her eyes narrowing before she lunges forward, dropping her shirt and ripping the gun from my hands.
She raises it, points it at my head, her finger curling around the trigger as my blood freezes in my veins.
I went too far. She is done with this life. With me.
This is all my fault.
Blood rushes in my ears as I stare at her with wide eyes, unable to move.
This is me and my dad all over again. Except this time, the outcome won’t be the same.
I can’t hurt her.
I won’t.
Bile rises in my throat as I look at her, my chest caving in at the betrayal.
I close my eyes.
Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe now I’ll be free from the monster.
If my own father tried to kill me, why did I think that she would be different?
He saw me as weak. She sees me as a monster. There’s nothing I can do about it.
The only regret I have is that right here, right now, she is losing her innocence. Her soul will forever be tainted by the life she is taking.
At least for a little moment in time, I was happy. I knew love. I saw a part of myself I thought I’d never experience.
I just wish I could have always been that man to her.
Now it won’t matter anymore.
We can both be free.
Peace settles over me as I wait for the hit. The piercing hit of the bullet shredding my flesh.
The gunshot cracks through the air, but I feel no pain.
There is no blood dripping down my clothing. No wound where the bullet lodged. Just a groan and a thud.
