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I love her too much to ruin her life like that.
Ava deserves the best out of life, and now that Dad is gone, I’m sure that she’s going to get it.
Hours after the funeral, Ava walks back into the house.
Christian looks up from where he sits on the couch as she enters the room.
Smeared mascara marks her cheeks, but no tears fall. Ava stands in the middle of the room, looking at me with a distant gaze.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone for a bit.” Christian stands and kisses the top of my head before leaving the room.
Ava sighs and sits down on the couch beside me. She buries her face in her hands as I set my book to the side and cross my legs. Her shoulders rise and fall with her deep breaths.
When she finally looks up at me, the only sign that she’s been crying are her red-rimmed eyes. The smeared makeup is wiped away and her mouth is set in a hard line.
“I need to know what else he did,” Ava says, her tone hollow as she looks at me. “I know that you’re hiding things from me. I need to know the truth, but I can respect that you don’t want to talk about it.”
“I don’t.” I reach out and squeeze her hand. “Ava, one of us deserves to remember the good parts of him. That’s ruined for me, but you don’t have to ruin it for yourself. Sometimes, things are better left unknown.”
“I need to know, Zoe. I need to know everything that he was involved in, and I know that I’m not going to be able to let this go until I do.” She leans back against the cushions and stares up at the ceiling.
“Are you sure?”
Ava nods, her bottom lip quivering slightly. “I have to. I need to know.”
“You’d probably be happier if you didn’t.”
My heart aches for her.
I know that neither of us has made peace with what our father did, but I can’t imagine wanting to know everything about him.
I already know enough about what our dad was capable of for a lifetime.
“I don’t care if I would be happier.” Ava stands and looks down at me. “I’m going to do this, Zoe. And maybe someone in Ryderson can help me.”
“I can’t be part of that. I know all I need to know. More, even. Now I just want to move on with my life.”
Ava stoops to hug me, her embrace tight. “I know. I have to do this, though.”
She lets me go and I nod.
“Be careful, okay?”
She nods before leaving, the door slamming shut behind her.
I bite back tears that threaten to fall.
If this is what she needs to move on, then I’m going to do my best to support her.
Even if I think it is a terrible idea.
Christian walks back into the room and sits on the coffee table across from me. “How did that go?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I sigh and shut my eyes for a moment.
When I look at Christian again, there is concern shining in his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about anything.”
“Well, what do you want to do?” He takes my hands in his and holds them tight. “Anything.”
