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He leans back in his chair and brings a ringless finger to his chin. “The feelings are real. There’s something about feeling them while knowing you can’t truly get hurt.”
“Feelings? Like despair? What’s the fun in it?”
“Well, if you’re depressed, you look at your own life and say, ‘nevermind. This could be so much worse.’” He chuckles again. “No. It’s about getting out of that dark place, and reading sometimes makes you believe you can do it too.”
“What’s your dark place?” I blurt. It’s a genuine curiosity, even if I realize I’ll probably never get that answer.
He seems unfazed and smirks. “Tell me yours, first.”
I shrug. “I don’t have a dark place.”
“As I suspected.” He stares at me with an eyebrow raised. “Perfect life, with no free time and all that. Lots of history books and some dictionaries. Plenty of space in your tower.”
I don’t know what he’s trying to get at, but I smirk. “Exactly.”
He nods and eats a piece of bread. When he finishes, he says, “Is there anything else you need? Anything you didn’t mention, or that I forgot?” He tilts his head. “Don’t say freedom, as I can’t give you that yet.”
“Do you really think I know your secrets?”
He stares at me. “There’s something odd going on. Of that I’m sure. Now, I don’t even understand the extent of it, since you’re not going to admit what you’re doing, right? Would you like to change that? Maybe we can find a solution together.”
His face is open, earnest, and more than anything, I’d love to trust him, but I know I can’t.
I shake my head. “I’m not doing anything.”
He has a mocking smirk. “Of course. So it must be something on my end. I need to be cautious and see if someone can help me. That said, is there anything at all you’d like?”
There is, but I’m not sure it’s possible. “A letter. Can I write to my sisters?”
His expression softens. “I’m so sorry, Astra. I can’t go into Krastel now. It could be dangerous.”
“But you went to pick me up.”
He shrugs. “I had no choice.”
If we don’t go to Krastel, how am I going to contact Otavio? Suddenly, I’m drowning in panic. “My hair coloring. I only have a supply for three months…” I realize I forgot to hide the fear in my voice. What a stupid mistake.
“Three months is a long time.”
“But I can’t?—”
He chuckles. “Calm down, wife. Give me one of the bottles and I’ll find something similar for you. I won’t let you die of sadness because your hair is not black.”
I laugh as well. Haha, so hilarious being afraid of running out of hair coloring.
He continues, “We’re going to attend a coronation in a week.”
“Yours?”
His laughter is warm and rich. “Ours, you mean. No. Not yet. It’s the Court of Bees.” That’s a tiny fae court, in that area where there are some thirty of them. “It’s best if you come with me. Bring your sword, and practice with it as much as you can. And maybe… Maybe write your letters. I’ll read them, just to make sure there’s nothing compromising, but write them. Maybe there will be a human emissary who could bring them to your kingdom. How’s that?”
I smile. “Helpful.” I doubt any human kingdom would step foot so far in fae territory, and the idea of having my letters read is dreadful, but I guess he’s trying to be nice.
He gets up. “I’ll be away for three days and?—”
I feel punched in the gut. “Going to the Court of Spiders?” I blurt. Oh, how dreadfully I’m forgetting all my training.
He pauses and stares at me with a curious and amused smirk. “Jealous?”
