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???
It wasn’t as hard as Billie had thought it might be, staring at the back of Cora’s head. Not that she’d been afraid that she’d feel anything. She knew damn well that Jules was a part of her, there was no doubt on that score.
Still, the insecurities, the words, could have come crashing back. But they didn’t.
Beside her, Ag’s blonde head was leaning on her arm, the child enraptured by the music, and Billie couldn’t help but smile.
Ag was good and she deserved more lessons. But Billie didn’t regret her decision to make her wait. So far, Ag had tried coding and gymnastics, football and Brownies, choir singing and drama. She was set to become a well-rounded and popular child. Everything that Billie had never had the chance to become. All because Max and Mila made sensible decisions for their daughter.
And now it was time to push things a little further, a little harder.
The weight of Ag’s head on her arm made Billie’s heart skip a little beat.
She and Jules had talked about kids, not seriously yet, but the topic had come up. Secretly, Billie had been worried that perhaps she might not be a good mother. But then she looked at Ag and at Mila and knew that she had a good role model.
The piece came to an end, and Agatha practically leaped up to applaud. Mila caught Billie’s eye and grinned, Billie grinned right on back.
“Psst,” Jules leaned over the back of Billie’s seat. “Am and I are getting out of here.”
Billie turned around. “What about Cass?”
Jules colored. “Um…”
“She wants to stay for the music,” Amelia broke in.
Billie smelled a rat. But Cora was turning to bow to the audience and Billie didn’t want to make a scene, didn’t want to be noticed, so she just nodded and went back to clapping.
Whatever secret Jules was keeping, Billie would have to figure it out later.
???
“Sorry,” said the woman. “Never heard of her.”
The door slammed so quickly that Jules had to jump back, afraid that it would hit her in the face.
“Well…” Amelia said after a minute.
“Not surprising, I suppose,” said Jules, her heart in her throat threatening to choke her.
Amelia sighed and steered her sister away from the front door toward a graffitied bench across the street. “The detective man did say it was an address from tax records,” she said, looking both ways before dragging Jules across the road. “And I don’t s’pose mum’s been paying many taxes, do you?”
Jules, still feeling numb, shook her head and sat down. Amelia sat next to her. They both stared at the small terraced house where their mother wasn’t. “I don’t know what I expected,” Jules said.
“Neither do I,” said Amelia. She put a comforting hand on Jules’s leg. “And I mean that. I don’t know what you expected. Why do this, Jules? And why now?”
Jules bit her lip, swallowed. “I just…” She blew out a long breath. Maybe it was time to come clean. She’d forced Amelia into doing this, after all. “Billie and I have been talking about having kids,” she said, finally. “Nothing serious, not yet, but I just thought…” She trailed off.
“What?” demanded Amelia. “What did you think?”
Jules shrugged. “That it might be difficult being a mum when I haven’t really had one myself, that’s all.”
Amelia laughed. “Are you kidding me?” she said. “There’s plenty of people that have shit parents and go on to be good parents themselves. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be doing this without any help.”
“I won’t?”
“The cafe’s doing alright, me and Cass will babysit anytime you want. And granddad isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. You make him a great-granddad and he’s going to be over the moon. Mila’s feeling broody again as well, so you’ll have to take the wee one to the bookshop.”
Jules felt a weight lifting off her.
