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I smiled when I heard my phone and slid it open without thinking it could be anyone but Nat calling to get my ass into the bath with her.
“You know I don’t jerk off to your pictures anymore. I—”
“Well, I should hope not,” Jake responded.
“Jesus Christ. Why, of all the people in the world, are you calling me?”
“Well, I was hoping to invite you to a surprise birthday party for Jimmy, but now that you’ve openly admitted to jerking off to my pictures, I’m not too sure I want you there.”
“Listen, dipshit,” I said with a laugh, reaching up and grabbing two wine glasses to take upstairs, “I didn’t check to see who was calling. I thought it was—”
“So, you’re jerking off to everyone’s pictures now?” he said, feigning offense. “You’ve cut me deep, Spencer.”
I rolled my eyes. Wasting my time with this man on the phone was not something I wanted to be doing right now, and he could go on and on if I let him. “Well, naturally, you’re hurt by this admission of guilt. Hopefully, you’re not too wounded, though, because I’d like to get to the point of this call.”
“You’re too serious sometimes, Spence,” he said. I could tell this was probably his final call from his office at the hospital before he left for the night.
“Compared to you and Collin, everyone is too serious,” I laughed. “I wanted to be more like you two clowns, so I had to find myself a lady.”
“I still have bets against your ass on that, by the way,” Jake teased.
“Are you just bored and waiting for a fucking cardiac call, or are you trying to get me to fuck things up with Nat tonight by staying on the phone with you?”
“As I said, I have a bet to win. And I don’t wager good money unless I know I will win.”
“Jake, text me the time and place, and you know that we’ll be there for Jim’s party or whatever the fuck you idiots are planning to surprise him with.”
“Perfect. And yes, try not to forget your boss has a birthday coming up.”
“I’ll make sure I remember that since Jim’s birthday must be celebrated. Hopefully, the rest of the circus will be there for you and Collin.”
“You know it,” Jake laughed. “Okay, buddy. I’ll text you the time and place. Later, gator.”
“Good. We’ll see you then.”
The call ended, and just before I turned to place some strawberries on the wooden serving tray with the wine and glasses, my phone rang again.
“Sweet Jesus, Jacob. Just text me the—”
“Well, that is certainly no way to talk to your mother, now, is it?”
Of all the fucking times I decide to stop checking to see who’s calling in, it would be today.
“Heidi,” I answered, my tone as lethal as I felt about having answered without checking to see if it was her. “What is it that you need?”
“I need to speak with my son. Of course, that is if his wife is not around to eavesdrop on our important conversation.”
“I would put you on speaker phone just so she could hear because she is my wife and may listen to anything you have to say to me.”
I managed to pull my ass back into the whole fake marriage bit. Now that I was in a real relationship, I was more focused on navigating that part of my life correctly instead of faking shit. But I’d started this whole shit show with Heidi, and I had to manage this if I had to speak to her again.
“Speaking of my wife,” I said, “she and I are busy. I would rather deal with you later when I have the time for it.”
“Son,” she said, switching famously back into her victim role to keep me on the line. “I truly need to speak with you. It’s about the woman you call your wife.”
“Her name is Natalia, and if you can’t accept that, then the conversation is over.”
I hung up, my nerves tenser than they really should’ve been. Just hearing that woman’s voice repulsed me, and the only reason she wasn’t blocked from my phone was in case something happened to anyone else in my family. Other than that? She was lucky she had my number.
