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I felt a hand rubbing my back and focused on the soothing motion as I centered myself.
“There you go,” Farrah said, standing at my side. “Just relax your mind for a moment.”
I didn’t try to respond; I just followed her instructions. Finally, when I gained the courage to reopen my eyes and look over at the beautiful, onyx-haired woman, and saw that we were the only ones in the room.
“Dr. Aster excused himself,” Farrah said.
“To save himself from further nonsense from me, I’m sure,” I answered, rolling my eyes at myself. “God, I feel like such an idiot.”
“It’s perfectly fine. I’m glad you’re doing a little better.”
“He gets this a lot, doesn’t he? I mean, you can’t be that fucking gorgeous and choose this line of work. There should be laws against such a thing,” I said.
She gave a big chuckle. “Nah,” she brushed it off. “I’d find it kind of boring to date him if I’m honest.”
I arched an eyebrow at her. She was exquisite, like a Persian princess, with creamy olive skin and almond-shaped eyes the color of glowing amber. “Really?” I pressed.
“Really.” She turned to move the tray filled with examination tools to the corner of the room. “Think about it, would you be into a man who works all day with—” She turned back and eyed me, most likely to see if I’d bust her for this type of talk behind the doctor’s back.
“Go on,” I grinned, all panic, tense nerves, and stress slipping away from me now. “Who works all day with vaginas?”
She laughed and nodded. “Exactly. I imagine my boyfriend coming home exhausted from a long day of prodding vaginas, and I think, does he want to see one more after dinner, or is he off the clock?”
“Oh shit,” I laughed loudly. “Oh, my God. Yeah. I feel sorry for whoever he’s involved with. I like to think my vagina is magical, but when your man plows through ten a day, there’s just no magic left.”
“I’m sure not going to take the chance,” she said with a big sassy smile.
I smirked, “I like your style, Farrah.”
“One must be smart in the dating pool these days, or broken hearts are your only reward.”
“I had the dating thing figured out,” I sighed. “I was as confident as you are now and then stupid enough to give my heart to a man.” I took a deep breath, “The worst part is that I let my guard down, and now, here I am, pregnant with his child.”
She smiled at me, “We get a lot of women in your situation, and if it helps, you’re not alone. Perhaps that’s why you freaked out a minute ago?”
“Yes,” I answered her. “I’ve never not been in control. Losing it is the scariest thing in the world. I just have no idea where this all ends up, and that scares the shit out of me.” I stopped my incessant whining. “God, I’m so sorry. Listen, thank you for helping me get calm and giving me some much-needed laughs. I think I’ll call my friend down here and cry on her shoulder while I wait for my doctor. Thanks for hanging back after I chased the good doctor out of the room.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?”
“Positive,” I answered, knowing I would probably dump everything on this poor soul if I didn’t stop talking now. “It was lovely to meet you, and thank you for your help with this mess. Now, be safe out there in that dating world.”
“I’ll be just fine.”
My eyes followed her as she left the room, and I smiled at her confidence. Oh, to be young, naïve, and foolish again.
Chapter Forty-One
NAT
After I had walked out of the doctor’s appointment, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The only thing I knew to do was what I always did when times got rocky, and that was to throw myself into work.
I drove onto the 405 Freeway with all the ferociousness of Sandra Bullock, driving a bomb-rigged bus, and I floored it all the way to Beverly Hills. Once I stepped into my office, I would be fine.
Unfortunately, however, as I sat in my office, I was anything but fine. Work couldn’t pull me out of this biological hole, and my downward spiral felt like it would plunge me into the middle of the earth.
I laid my head down on my desk, feeling the coolness of the polished wood against my flushed cheek, and then I heard a soft knock on my door.
“Give me a minute,” I said, not wanting anyone to see me like this.
