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She didn’t look at me, but she wrapped her long, delicate fingers around my hand as she threw more bread into the lake. “Your father sounds like he was a wonderful man.”
“He was,” I said, “and he would’ve been very fond of you.”
That was an understatement. He would’ve told me to get my head out of my ass and find a way to make this relationship work. He would’ve seen this was the most genuine I’d ever been. Most of all, he would have seen me happy for the first time. I couldn’t tell Nat that because I didn’t know how it would make her feel. At the rate I was handling these emotions, which were steamrolling me like a freight train, I’d probably drop onto one knee and ask her to marry me. I didn’t trust myself anymore when it came to her.
It was better to play it safe and appreciate all of this, step by step and little by little.
I tightened my fingers around her hand and pulled her up from the bench. It was safer to get away from the deep talk for now. This was dangerous ground for me emotionally, and it was time to change the scenery.
“Come on,” I said, pulling her close for a simple kiss. I stepped back and ran my hands over her perfect ass. “We’ve got a lot of touristy shit to do today, and the clock’s ticking.”
As usual, the things that went unsaid between us didn’t need to be spoken right away; they’d come out in their own time, and that was most comfortable for me for now. I had to believe it was for her too.
We spent the day immersing ourselves as tourists in the City of London. We managed as many tourist sites as we could, me explaining the history of the Tower of London and giving her some examples about how and why the tower was built. The history overseas was always rich, and I loved immersing myself in it on days when I usually had no work. I could walk through old cathedrals and study the architecture for an entire day, allowing my mind to relax in the beauty of such rich details.
Nat seemed to appreciate it as much as I did. Her usual sass was fading, and I knew my heart was in danger when I met her more genuine side. We walked through the city as if we were on our honeymoon, and I allowed myself to fall deeper into this. By the time we moved toward the final destination, I felt more than confident that this would all pull together as it should. Everything was smooth, flawless, perfect, and meant to be.
Finally, after a lot of walking and talking, I brought her up to the doors of a building that I had a feeling would be familiar to her. Although, it took her a while to realize where we were, given the conversation we were having.
When she figured it out, she laughed. “Wait, is this—” she stopped, and that look of intrigue I’d been admiring on her face was back.
Fuck. It took my breath away to see her like this, filled with wonder and beauty.
I offered her my elbow to escort her into the theater area. “I couldn’t let this trip end without a visit here, especially once you admitted that you’d never been.”
“The Curtain Theater,” she said with a wry grin. Then her expression changed after she arched her sexy eyebrow at me. She pulled away from me, and as if performing in a play herself, she instantly fell into character. She sighed dramatically, worthy of making it onto the stage we were walking in to see. I could sense the excitement practically radiating through her as we walked around the old theater, seeing the ancient stage, and climbing on top of it. I couldn’t help smiling as she took one of the players’ swords from the display beside her and brandished it, whipping it through the air like a Chamberlain’s Man.
“This is the part where I would perfectly recite a line from Romeo and Juliet,” she said with a funny accent. “You can just fill in the blanks for me, I’m sure.”
“And here I thought you knew the play by heart,” I chimed in, sliding my hands into my pockets, absorbing her beauty even further. “I mean, you can’t stop gushing about their love story, so you must really love it.”
She smiled and stared at me, prompting me to step up and over to where she was. I walked up to her and moved a strand of hair behind her ear as I looked down at her lovely face.
“Well, the truth is that the only time I watched Romeo and Juliet, I was too busy lusting after DiCaprio to hear what he was actually saying,” she said, shrugging. “And to clear things up, I’ve just never felt like the story was particularly realistic. I never saw love like the kind Shakespeare described, so I didn’t think I should expect it for myself.”
“You are very good at dismissing the emotion, with your words at least.”
Her expression remained soft, and I felt a surge of energy bolt through me when I saw, for the first time, a look in her eyes that was nothing less than love.
I wasn’t letting this moment pass either one of us by. “And now?”
“Now,” she said, walking away from me, “it feels entirely different. The significance of the story, the words, even the relationship between those two idiotic kids.”
This was a monumental change in this subject from Verona. She was dead set against any words of love then. In fact, our last conversation had put to bed any ideas about Natalia loving anyone.
But now, I could see the difference in her, and I didn’t want to allow this opportunity to slip away. I couldn’t allow it. I knew this was the biggest risk either of us could take, and I was willing to take it for both of us.
I swallowed thickly before walking up to her. “I love you, Natalia. I’m not sure exactly when it started coming on, but I’ve known it for a while, I think. I realize as I’m saying it out loud to you that it’s the first time that I’m admitting it to myself as well. I’ve been fighting the feelings, but I’d be a fool to let it all pass out of fear of rejection. I won’t allow fear to rule my heart or what I know is true. I’ve never been governed by fear, and I don’t intend to start now.”
She gave me a soft smile like the one she’d given me that morning when I noticed she was coming closer to me. The smile faltered, though, and she looked down at her feet. “I’ve never said that to anyone except my little brother, and I’ve never thought I could edit my life to accommodate this feeling. I’ll be honest,” her eyes met mine, more severe now, “it scares the shit out of me, Spencer.”
“I understand that,” I said. “I’ve never actually said it either. But I’ve unequivocally never felt it like this before, and I’m happy it’s with you. Fuck, I’m just happy, period, right now. I’m happier than I’ve ever thought possible.”
I leaned down to kiss her, cupping the back of her neck as I tilted her face to meet mine. I knew things would be different from now on as we exchanged this kiss on the Elizabethan stage, and I felt my previously stone-cold heart beat more intensely.
Chapter Twenty-One
NAT
