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“You act like you just miss me,” I said, knowing what my mother was trying to do—as if she would ever agree with me working and not filling my rightful role in this family.
“I do,” she said earnestly. “I miss our family being whole as it once was.”
“Our family is whole, Mother,” I said, picking up a glazed strawberry and popping it into my mouth. “In fact, it’s grown quite a bit since I’ve lived at home.”
“You know I love my granddaughter—and Melissa and Pollyanna, of course.” She said their names like she was reading a script, making sure not to leave anyone out. Margot Aster was all etiquette all the time, and no one was going to catch her slipping on that. Not even her son at six in the morning. “However, I miss having you at home. Obviously, I’ve grown used to it, but?—”
She paused, and I was thankful for the crisp breeze coming in off the ocean, keeping me cool while I felt my internal temperature heat up with some frustration. “But?” I urged her to spit it out so I could get this part over. I hated to be reminded why I only returned for holidays and special events that were required of me. I wasn’t a fan of having heart-to-hearts with my family when none of them saw life the way I did.
“But it’s difficult to see you on the wrong path. Your father and I worked diligently to raise you boys. You went to the most respectable schools and were given all the tools you needed to keep this family together, as every generation before you has done.”
“Mom,” I leaned back in my seat and folded my arms, “I need you to understand that my happiness doesn’t revolve around keeping this very successful family afloat. I have two older brothers for that, and everyone knows they will do a fantastic job of keeping the legacy alive.”
“But they aren’t you, Son,” she said.
Here comes the guilt trip.
I had to end this before I lost my temper and regretted my decision to spend some time with my mom. She hadn’t been up my ass about this in a long time, so I knew the christening and all the chatter from the guests must have sparked up something inside her.
She felt compelled to share her feelings about my life choices, and I wouldn’t listen to it.
“No one is me.” I decided to play the I’m your baby boy card and leave well enough alone. “You and I both know that as a fact.”
She looked off into the distance, something reeling in her mind that I wish I could read.
“What is it?” I finally said, going for it. My mom and I had a good relationship, one where she could say her piece, and I usually didn’t get too upset about it. Dad and I, on the other hand, didn’t have that. My father spoke his mind, and nothing he said was up for debate. All I could do with him was listen, shut up, and end up doing shit my way anyway.
“Your father and I were speaking about you boys last evening,” she said, her hazel eyes darkened to match her dark hair, cut fashionably short and shaped to define her soft features. “He and I want you to start focusing on your future.”
“The fuck?” I said, the F-word accidentally slipping out. “Sorry, but have you not paid attention to anything I’ve been doing for the last fifteen or more years?”
“Of course we have,” she said, shocked that I’d question her in this manner. “We were there when you graduated with distinction and when you were chosen by that prestigious hospital. Their decision to invest in your extraordinary talents is why we donated such a large sum to them. They’ve proved themselves wise and worthy of our contribution, and I respect that immensely.”
“That all said,” I said slowly, “you do understand that this profession is my future, correct?”
“You will retire from this profession, and then what?”
“And then I will live like any other retired physician, except I’ll most likely do it while living on a yacht,” I informed her.
“Do not play games with me, young man,” she scolded. She didn’t like my flippancy, and I didn’t like her condescension.
“I should say the same of you, Mom,” I said, irritated that, for once, my life and my choices just couldn’t be taken seriously. “This is my dream, and you and Dad supported it until I made you an amazing breakfast this morning, I guess. Now, you’re telling me I need to think about my future. Do you realize how that sounds?”
“It was not meant to be taken unsupportively, dear,” she said, her eyes not once wavering from mine. “You’ve chosen the career of an ordinary man, but you are no ordinary man, and you do not come from an ordinary family.”
“Ordinary man?” Her words might’ve rendered me speechless if they came as a surprise. “Do you realize how preposterous that sounds, Mother? Do you think of what I do as ordinary, as if only the unremarkable can do it? Well, I can assure you that you are very wrong in your assumption.”
“You were meant for more,” she said unflinchingly. “You were here this weekend. You saw the families and their esteem of your brothers, but they question your choices.”
“Funny, I forgot to give a fuck about their opinions,” I said.
“Please, do not lower your intelligence by using such language in my presence.” Nothing was more undignified to Margot Aster than the unnecessary usage of foul language.
I had to get this conversation under control because it was going nowhere fast.
“I apologize,” I said. “I just don’t understand where any of this is coming from. I decided to take a couple of extra hours this morning to catch up with you because I hadn’t seen you this entire trip, but I did not do so to get lectured or treated like I was living some wild and crazy life in California. I’m a well-respected doctor at one of the top hospitals in the country, and just because I’m not living off my generational wealth does not mean I’m not focused on my future. I’m living my future, and how no one can accept that and how you so effortlessly ridicule it truly offends me.”
I hated using that word, but fuck this. I was fucking offended.
