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He’d made it clear he didn’t want a relationship, and I’d made it clear that I didn’t want one either. But suddenly, my feelings were dramatically and unexpectedly changing.
I stepped forward, away from where I had relaxed into him, and glanced at the fire blazing in the fireplace.
“Damn,” I sighed. “You had them do everything, didn’t you?”
“They even popped the cork on the wine bottle while we were in the elevator.”
His voice was low and serious, and all the goofiness I’d become accustomed to instantly faded. I told myself not to look back at where he stood, but my heart and body refused to listen to my mind.
The air was instantly stolen from my lungs as I absorbed the beauty of the tall figure, standing regally where I’d walked away from. He was so damn perfect it was almost painful—painful to know this perfect specimen of a man would not allow himself to getattached.
Even though he said he wanted to give us a try, I knew the dangers of a man like John Aster. He probably thought he wanted a relationship with me and really would give it a try. But all that made me was an experiment. It could either work out, and we’d both be remarkably happy, or he would do what most do when they have attachment issues…run in the other direction without explanation.
“That look on your face,” he finally spoke, sliding his hands into his trouser pockets. “You’re either terrified of being here with me or of using me as your model, fulfilling all your artist desires. Either way, you look terrified.”
“I am,” I said softly, wondering if I should be the one to run from this unstable connection, preventing this from going somewhere that would crush me.
He frowned. “The playful side of you is completely gone; I can see that. But if you’re worried about spending the night in this hotel room with me,” he ran a hand through his hair, “I can assure you, I’m probably more frightened about that than you are.”
I could feel my eyebrows tighten in response, realizing John had just admitted what I was afraid of.
“We shouldn’t play around with our emotions like this,” I said.
“We definitely shouldn’t,” he said, walking toward me.
“I’m serious,” I answered.
He took three quick strides and brought his hand to my face.
“I am too, doll-face,” he answered, his thumb tracing over my bottom lip.
“What happens when you wake up tomorrow and regret all of this?”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. You’re my greatest weakness,” he said with a tiny grin, his dark eyes searching mine. “I have never felt this way about anyone, and I’m unsure why I feel so drawn to you. I want more with you, Mickie, and if that says anything, I hope it is enough for you to take a chance on me.”
“All it says is that if you wake up tomorrow and run away from me, I’ll be crushed.” I studied him carefully for a moment. “You seem like you care a lot about me, though. I just don’t know.”
“I’ve never gone out of my way like this for any woman. I want you, Mick, and not just sexually. I want everything. I want it all, and I want to pursue more. I beg you to trust that I won’t hurt you.”
“It’s all founded on nothing, though, John. We’ve hardly gotten to know each other, yet we’re acting like we could handle a relationship after what, a camping trip?”
He chuckled, “You’re just as afraid of being hurt as I am.”
“You’re afraid of being hurt?” I asked in disbelief.
If there was one thing I thought I had pinned on this man and his personality, it was that nothing and no one could hurt him. There was just no way. He was far too confident in himself and was a man who held some kind of record for breaking hearts.
“Only of being hurt by you,” he answered in a husky voice. “If you don’t give me a chance, I don’t think I could stand it.”
I have no idea what happened to move this man to kiss me—or me to accept his kiss—but without warning, his full lips covered mine firmly, his tongue forcing my lips to part. My sense of reason didn’t want this, but the rest of me did. His kiss was powerful, demanding, and tasted better than the fragrance of his cologne. He was perfect in every way, and I desired more.
An ache for more grew hard and fast in the pit of my belly, and all I had to do was reach up and run both hands through his hair to permit him to take this to the next level and perhaps beyond that. I didn’t care how we’d feel in the morning. I wanted John Aster to love and devour my body in the way his consuming kiss was forcing all my insecurities away.
There would be no regrets; I knew that now. It was clear that John and I wanted this more than anything else, and there was no way I would fight it anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Five
John
