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“Yeah. Matteo told me all that. I had it so wrong, and he…. All these months he was fighting to stay alive and falling deeper and deeper into his role with the cartel. To protect me. But I was hating him. I’d wished we’d never met. I wanted to kill him, to hurt him as badly as he hurt me, and he just wanted to save me.”
My eyes stung, and I squeezed them shut. I was not going to fucking cry. Not even with Worth, not?—
Worth wrapped his arms around me. “I’m here. It’s okay. Just let go.”
I couldn’t fight it anymore. Tears I’d wanted to shed since the day Matteo shot me came pouring out.
I don’t know how long I sobbed against Worth’s shoulder, but by the time I was done, I felt absolutely exhausted. All I wanted to do was slink away, curl up somewhere on a soft surface, and sleep, but no matter how long I slept I wouldn’t forget. I’d dream of Matteo. He’d be right there, taunting me.
Worth’s hand rubbed up and down my back. His touch was soothing, but I pulled myself away. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I looked at the tear stain on his shoulder. “I may have ruined your shirt.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’ll replace it.”
“You’re never that casual about someone ruining your clothes.”
“This is a special circumstance.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. It’s not every day one of us falls apart on you.”
“And you’re the last one I would have expected it from.”
“I am the last one I would expect it from too, but that’s what Matteo does to me. He ties me up in knots. He’s been messing with my head for so long, and I haven’t gone a single day without thinking of him.”
“Now you know there was a reason for that.”
“So you’re saying that somehow subconsciously I knew he cared? That I knew he wasn’t really the traitor he seemed to be?”
Worth shrugged. “Stranger things have happened.”
“Like everything to do with my relationship with Matteo, none of it makes any sense. I thought we were just two horny guys needing some release. Well, I knew I felt more than that, but I ignored it.”
“That’s not strange at all. Why would you think anything would come of it?”
“I shouldn’t have. But it didn’t matter what I told myself, I kept falling, harder and harder and then…he was gone, and I almost died. If it hadn’t been for the three of you….”
“You would’ve pulled through, but you might’ve gone after him. You might’ve killed him before you had a chance to learn the truth.”
I shook my head. “I had my chance. If I’d wanted to kill him, I would have done it when we first captured him.”
Worth sighed. “You know I’m not the one you should be talking to about all this.”
“I know Ford or Miles might be better for this, but they’re so?—”
Worth shook his head. “I don’t mean them. You should be talking to Matteo.”
“What? He’s not…I can’t tell him how I feel. It will just give him more to manipulate me with.”
“Listen to yourself. You just said?—”
“Just because I’m in love with him doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.”
Worth narrowed his eyes. “Seriously?”
“There’s no way for me to know how he really feels. I can’t?—”
