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It shouldn’t feel sad, even if it has already crept in with me leaving. And I certainly don’t feel ashamed. It's just been a long time since I felt this alive.
And he brought that spark out in me. He made me feel good and gave me the boost I didn’t even know I needed.
I wince as I climb off the bed. Being partnerless for a long time will do that to you. Especially when you don’t just go at it once after a long dry spell, you do it several times over and over in varying positions.
The whole jacuzzi thing was hot. As was him touching me in the elevator and pleasuring me before we even got inside. The man is an insatiable God.
Was his wife completely crazy? Doing it with her accountant? I shake my head.
Why would you do that when you have a sweet, sexy man at home? I can’t make sense of it. Even if I’ve only known him for less than twelve hours, he’s a total sweetheart and the type of guy I’d go for if things were different.
Despite his honesty, I could feel there’s a mask still in place to some degree.
I guess that’s the same for me, too. He hides it well behind his expensive, well-cut designer suit and polished shoes. In fact, everything about him is polished.
I gather my clothes as I walk, including my grandmother’s pearls. I tiptoe to the ensuite to splash my face with water. Pulling my dress over my head, I know I started out wearing a black lacy thong, but I’ve no idea where it is. After a quick bathroom break, I walk to the living area to retrieve my belongings. My purse is still on the counter, my heels are where I kicked them off.
I hesitate near the little sideboard housing the hotel stationary and in-house entertainment guide. I could so easily slip my number on there and leave it for him…
I pick up the pen and paper and try to control the rapid beat of my heart and my shallow breath on walking out of here and never seeing him again.
Is that the right thing to do?
Maybe I should preserve its perfection in my mind forever so it can never be tainted?
Or do I leave my number for a potential future reunion?
It was all so perfect last night, I don’t want to ruin anything. Plus, we live in different places. I'm not even sure if he was joking, but he mentioned moving to a remote place. It definitely sparked my interest when he mentioned he’d been based in Nashville, Tennessee, since my dad and step-mom live close to there.
My dad is expecting an answer from me about Tennessee soon, and I don’t want to disappoint him, especially when he’s having health issues.
I can’t help but wonder if maybe our paths will cross one day soon after all.
Fate and all of that woo-woo stuff. Didn’t he say that last night?
I know I wasn’t crazy drunk, but I was tipsy and feel a little dehydrated now because of it, but I’m sure he mentioned something about fate bringing us to the same table.
I sigh and walk over to the kitchen to pour myself a quick glass of water while I try to compose myself. Gray still hasn’t stirred.
I know it’s probably best for me to head back to my room so I can shower and quickly get ready for my flight.
I smile, pressing my lips together. I can still taste him and feel him everywhere.
I close my eyes momentarily as I savor the glass of water and my thoughts of Gray.
Then I grab the rest of my things, carrying my shoes in my hands so I don’t wake him with the click-clack on the marble floors and I leave.
I feel shitty not even saying goodbye. But maybe it’s better this way.
Maybe I’m delusional thinking we could recreate something so divine and so perfect.
Why not just leave it as it is?
With trepidation and nerves flying around my stomach, I almost shut the door, but I hesitate.
I can’t start anything new. My life will change if I move.
Already feeling the loss of him, I sigh, in two minds whether to rush back in before the door closes and leave my number… I look back into the quiet, opulent space and wedge my foot in the door. I can’t leave it like this. Pushing my way back in, I walk over to the little hotel stationary writing pad and quickly jot my number down, folding the piece of paper in half and then in half again. I quickly walk back into the bedroom and place it somewhere I know he will find it.
