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Is he not listening to a word that I’ve said? Why does he look so calm?
“I want to travel.”
“I love travelling. I’ve been doing nothing but eating and breathing hockey. I’d love to travel in the offseason,” he says enthusiastically. “I’m a great travel buddy. I pack light, and I’ll eat anything. Cast iron stomach, too.”
“What if I ended up in another city for work?”
He shrugs. “What if? You have one more year of college. New York’s the publishing capital of the world. You might stay here. If not, we can look at where things are then. I’m not necessarily tied to the Rovers forever.”
Is he actually saying that he’d consider leaving his team for me? It sounds like that’s what he’s saying.
He is too perfect for me. He wants the same kinds of things I do. I love spending time with him. Even when I’m mad at him, I still love hanging out with him.
He sees the look of panic on my face. “Ruby, why are you doing this when you aren’t even going to graduate for another year? Why are you looking for reasons to end something that just started? Is it me? Is there something that you don’t like about the two of us together? Because if there is, you can just say that.”
“It isn’t you! And if it were, I would tell you. I promise you that. I... Okay, it’s the oldest cliché in the book but it really isn’t you, it’s me, okay? I just...” I suck in a breath. I push my chair back and stand up. I need to leave now while I still have the strength.
“I can’t depend on anyone or anything, okay? I just can’t. I can’t need anyone. If I do, they leave me.”
All the happiness has drained from his face.
I did that.
That’s why I have to get out now, before things get worse.
He grimaces. “And that’s why you choose the relationships you do.”
I shake my head. “Nick was never a relationship.”
“Not him,” Paxton says in exasperation. “The professor. You chose a relationship that, on some level, you knew would crash and burn. You’d rather have a relationship with a guaranteed expiration date than risk your heart. Love is always risk, Ruby.”
“That’s why I run away from it!” I cry out. “Okay, I’m a coward. I admit it. You’re right about Nass-face. I know that now. On some level, I always knew that he was a fraud and so was our relationship.”
“You’re a good person, Ruby. You’re hurting yourself by doing this.” He’s looking at me with such sympathy and worry, even though I’ve just basically gut-punched him.
I’m about to answer when my phone rings, and I grab it like a lifeline. Anything to distract me from this miserable conversation where I’m the bad guy and I just can’t stop myself from wrecking what is probably the best thing that will ever happen to me.
It appears the New York City police are calling me. Again with this?
At this point, I’d almost welcome jail.
I answer the phone in exasperation.
“Hello, now what?” I say in annoyance.
The woman on the other end of the line sounds equally annoyed. “Ruby James?”
“That’s me.”
“We’ve arrested your daughter for shoplifting. You need to come down to the Thirty-Seventh Precinct.”
“My . . . daughter?”
“Summer James? You are familiar with her?” Scorn and sarcasm drips from her voice.
Paxton is standing so close that he can hear what the woman is saying. His eyes widen in surprise.
My heart sinks. Summer has been doing so well. Making so much progress. Why would she do this, now of all times?
