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I can’t. I can’t face anybody.
I can’t be in a bookstore and think about the fact that the professor is going to be pimping his book out in bookstores and it will have my words in it.
This makes me feel horrible. I hate to not keep my word to Paxton, and it’s for such a good cause.
Heavyhearted, I grab my phone and text him. I’m really sorry. I can’t make it tonight. Please don’t make me feel bad about it. I feel bad enough about it already.
I get a text back immediately. Are you okay? Do you want me to bring you painkillers and a heating pad?
He thinks I’m having my period. The fact that he’s offering to come to my rescue is actually extremely sweet of him.
It’s not that, I say. I may be letting him down, but I’m not going to hide behind a lie. I’m really upset about something that’s personal that I can’t talk about. I am very sorry. Pick something else for us to do in public. Pick something I’ll hate, it’s fine. I just need tonight to myself. I’m going to turn off my phone now. Sorry. I’m terrible. Just ignore me. OK turning off the phone now.
Ugh.
Well, at least I handled that with grace and dignity and didn’t come off like a babbling idiot at all.
With a groan, I turn my phone off, pull my covers over my head, and close my eyes, wishing I could just will myself to sleep, and to wake up in a universe where Professor Douchetard Word-Thief Nasshole was never born.
Or better yet, a universe where I was smart enough to have seen him coming from a million miles away.
21
PAXTON
Most of the team is gathered at the rink, ready to head over to the bookstore. Everyone is going—except me.
“I am really, really sorry to have to cancel. My girlfriend is deathly ill, and I need to go check up on her,” I say. Mason’s not in the room, which is good because he’d probably freak out, tell Rowan, and then Rowan would want to rush to the rescue, and I get the impression that it might be too much for Ruby. Rowan loves Ruby so much that she can be kind of overbearing.
Knox is walking by us, and he coughs out something that sounds very much like “Pussy-whipped.”
I spin around to glare at him.
“What did you say?” I demand of him.
“You heard me.” He meets my gaze with a challenging stare. “Dude. We’re all going. It’s lame as fuck of you to bail on us. But, fine. Next time we train, I’m giving you hell.”
Awesome.
Why am I doing this again?
I don’t know.
She sounded really, really upset. I haven’t seen or heard her this upset since the first time I met her—which was when she called her sister up crying last year, and I tagged along with her sister and Mason to try to cheer her up.
The anger I felt at Ruby for ditching me for the football jerk has faded. I’ve been hanging out with her a lot lately and honestly, she’s a great person.
I still think it was thoughtless, and inconsiderate, of her to show up with him like that, and she should have at least given me a heads up, but it’s hard to stay pissed off at someone I genuinely like, especially when I don’t think she meant to screw with me on purpose. I also have to acknowledge that Ruby couldn’t understand what it’s like to live a life as public as mine—although she’s been getting a taste of it these days, that’s for sure.
“Sure, whatever. You do you,” I say before Knox can get another dig in.
I take a cab to Ruby’s dorm, brushing off autograph seekers as I’m hurrying through the building. I usually try to accommodate anyone who wants an autograph, but Ruby sounded really bad and I’m genuinely worried about her.
When I get to her room, I knock on the door and call out, “Hey, it’s Pax.”
No joking around this time.
“Go away,” she calls out. “I can’t make it tonight, I told you.”
