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In a shock to cheek muscles that haven’t been used in weeks, a smile forms on my face.
“Sounds great, Dad. Send my love to Mom.”
“I will.” He pauses. “Not without a fight, Elliot. Not without a fight.”
“Bye, Dad.”
I hang up and drop my phone onto my belly.
I sigh out the relief of the half-truth-telling being over. Dad’s last words tick over in my mind. They seem vaguely familiar.
Oh yeah. He used that exact same phrase at the wedding when he said no smart man he knew would give up Charlotte without a fight.
Jesus. I rub my eyes. Will there never be a time when everything doesn’t remind me of her?
Maybe I should try to nap. I haven’t taken an afternoon nap in years.
I roll onto my side and turn the movie back on. A second later the first lines of The Power of Love pound out of my surround sound speakers. That’s a message I definitely don’t need right now.
I reach for the control and replace Huey Lewis and the News with the return of the news channel.
I close my eyes and let it burble away in the background—now a story about a kid who single-handedly started a protest to prevent a multi-level parking garage being built on his favorite playground. His campaign grew and grew, and the kid won.
“He’s a determined little devil,” a voice that must be the kid’s father says. “There was no way he was going to give up without a fight.”
“For fuck’s sake.” I sit bolt upright and turn off the TV.
A rush of energy bursts through me and pulls me to my feet. “Look, universe,” I yell at the ceiling, because maybe that’s where the universe lives. “There’s no point telling me not to give up Charlotte without a fight. And there’s no point telling me how powerful love is. I fought. I lost. She chose the fucking job.”
And she did. Given a choice between her career and me, Charlotte chose the career.
My heart thuds against my ribs, and adrenaline courses through me, my body humming with a strange new force.
Thoughts zing around my brain, sparking new connections for the first time.
Charlotte wanted to be with me. I know she did. She tried to be strong and fight, but then she gave me up for the greater good of her future.
She made her choice.
And Christ knows why it’s taken me so long to realize this, but I have a choice too, for fuck’s sake.
And maybe I choose her.
There’s no reason I can’t choose her.
I choose her.
33
CHARLOTTE
Istretch my arms high above my head and give in to a massive jaw-expanding yawn.
“Aaargh.” Sometimes you need to let it all out. Today has been a long day.
Not least because sleep was almost impossible last night. My stroll around Elliot’s office, the space where he should have been but wasn’t, went over and over in my mind. As I tossed and turned and tried to deep-breathe myself into slumber, the office memory merged into the image of delight on his face when he unveiled the first digital planner he ever made me.
Then my brain switched to how sexy he looked with his arms stretched out along the back of the sofa when I gave him his Presentation 101 slideshow. Next was a vision of his bitable bare thighs when he was lying face down on the Highway Inn bed, barely able to move.
