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“That’s not strictly true now, is it?” I whisper. “I mean, you couldn’t call the…” Using the word “massage” in a workplace hallway would probably not be the wisest move right now. “You couldn’t say that whole… thing was nothing. I mean, that was very definitely something.” The jitter in my chest morphs to an ache. “Well, it was something to me anyway, and I’m pretty sure it was something to you too, so…”
Her non-drink holding hand is on the curve of her hip now. “You went behind my back, Elliot.”
This is terrible. Just terrible. I was trying to make things better, but she thinks I’ve made them worse. Which means I have made them worse.
“I trusted you, Elliot.” My name trembles on her lips. “And I trusted Max. And you both betrayed my confidence.”
Her brow furrows as she bites her lower lip.
Staying glued to this spot is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. Every atom of my being wants to scoop her into my arms, and try to explain to her I was just trying to make it okay for us to be more than friends, more than colleagues, without her having to worry about it jeopardizing her career.
“I know how important this job is to you, Charlotte. You know I do. I knew it before, and I understand it even more after what you told me in Plainsville. And I would never, never, do anything to threaten your position here.”
“Good.” Her voice cracks. She pauses to sniff and clear her throat. “I’m happy you don’t want to risk my promotion. And hopefully I’m on course for it, because the repairs at First Byte seem to be over the hump and look on track to be ready on Monday.”
“That’s fantastic. You’ve done amazingly.”
“No need to thank me. I’m just doing my job.” She’s businesslike now, as if I’m an item on her to-do list. “I’ll be in constant touch with the guys out there to check it’s all okay. The only thing you need to do is sort out your presentation. I’ll send you your flight details when I have them, but other than that, I’ll only bother you when absolutely necessary.” She wraps both hands around her drink.
From the resolute look on her face, she might as well dust them off as if she’s done with me.
“It doesn’t have to be like this, Charlotte. Getting what you want doesn’t always mean following the rules and sticking to a plan.”
Her eyebrows shoot up, like I’ve said the most shocking thing she could imagine. But I’ve never been more determined to convince someone of something in my life.
Perhaps if I put it in less emotional terms, she wouldn’t find it as terrifying. “It’s like when we started Two Coast. We had a perfect plan for how to grow, but we lost our first major client when a competitor told lies about us to steal the deal.”
She looks puzzled as to why I might be telling her this, but I power on. “It broke us. And we could have just thrown in the towel and walked away, thinking there was no point trying to build a business anymore. But we didn’t. We didn’t give up on what we wanted. We stuck with it.”
Charlotte’s eyes turn glossy as she grasps my business metaphor. There’s a glimmer of growing belief behind them, I’m sure of it. My pulse quickens with rising hope. “And I think now that if things had gone the way of our original plan, we wouldn’t be anywhere near as successful as we are now. Sometimes the path we’ve set ourselves on needs to change course. And sometimes an unexpected opportunity comes up that’s not part of the plan. Jumping on it and seeing where it takes you is terrifying. But it can land you in a far better place than the original plan ever would.”
Silence hangs between us as she looks down at her tea and plays with the straw.
Pleading doesn’t seem to be working.
My frustration level rises just to the point where I can toughen up enough to tell her some cold, hard truths. “Maybe sticking with the plan isn’t always the way to go, Charlotte. Maybe that’s not the route to happiness. Maybe it’s the route to a perfectly organized life of achievements completely bereft of joy.”
My heart races to the same level of panic I have every time I think about the hub launch speech. I’ve said too much.
I mustn’t speak again now. I mustn’t approach her. I must leave this space for her to realize it could work if only she’d stick with it and not give up on us just because of one stupid rule.
Charlotte’s knuckles turn white around the cup, but she doesn’t look up.
One second passes.
She sucks in her top lip and bites into it.
Then two.
Her shoulders rise as she takes in a shaky breath.
Then three.
Her lashes flutter rapidly, like she’s blinking back tears in her downcast eyes.
“Good luck on Monday.” Her voice is stoic, but there’s an underlying quaver people wouldn’t detect.
Without lifting her gaze, she turns around and heads back around the corner to her desk.
