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When she closed those gorgeous, plump lips around my thumb, I nearly lost my goddamn mind.
But then she heard me loud and clear. As much as I wanted her—that amount being a vast expanse no astrophysicist has yet been able to quantify—I also felt a sigh of relief when she took my warning at face value.
As she should. A relationship is something I can’t give her.
There’s no point in starting something with her when we both know that.
Right?
For the first time in my life, I don’t have a ready answer. Not one that makes sense, anyway. If I want to do something aboutit, I need to do it now. I need to let her know exactly how much I want her with no “but” at the end of that sentence.
For the entirety of the movie, PJ sat about as far away from me as her seat would permit, scrunched against the outer edge, lest I invade her space. She drove us back to the winery, making idle small talk about the movie.
“I love when we find out it’s a leopard,” PJ says, pulling into the small parking area behind her house.
“Yeah. That was good.” I nod and try to remember the movie. It’s not like me to have nothing to say about a film, but I couldn’t focus on it for even a minute at a time.
She shoots me a glance. “Super specific movie review. Remind me to consult you instead of Rotten Tomatoes next time.”
She’s returned to the easy banter of the earlier part of our day. Meanwhile, my brain is stuck in a loop. All I can think about was how PJ’s tongue felt wrapped around my thumb and about how much I want it wrapped around my dick.
But that’s not where her mind is at all. I’ve made sure of it.
Whatever instinct she may have had in that theater seems to have disappeared with the last dregs of popcorn and chocolate at the bottom of that mammoth bucket. I’m back to being her slightly irritating neighbor, and she’s my friend’s sister.
I fucking hate it.
Because it’s entirely my fault. My fear that getting involved with a woman will derail my focus on work. Hell, I’ve managed to derail it all by myself. So why am I punishing her? And me?
We reach the midway point between the front door to the cottage and the walkway leading to PJ’s house. “Okay, well, this was fun. Have a good evening.” She turns, and in seconds, she’ll be inside her house, and whatever opportunity I have to turn things around will be gone.
Ineedto turn this around.
“Hey,” I venture, reaching for her shoulder. She flinches at the contact. Maybe she feels the same jolt of fire that practically consumes me every time I graze her skin with my hand.
Or maybe I’ve just startled her. Maybe she feels nothing.
Stop second-guessing.
She looks over her shoulder at me. Eyes wide and expectant, pillowy lips parted. I want to pull her into my arms and taste those lips.
I don’t say a word, and she searches my face for clues. Guiding her to turn around, my fingers sink into the flesh of her shoulder. When she’s facing me, her eyes search mine.
“Everything okay?” she asks, face softening.
“What did you mean earlier when you said your siblings don’t take you seriously?”
A flicker of discomfort sparks in her eyes, but she stands up a little straighter and shakes the moment off.
Then she relents. Her shoulders drop, and her breath releases. “Just exactly that. They think what I do is a job anyone could do. I’ll always be the little sister who’ll say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and they’ll have to clean up my mess.” She nods as though validating her own words. “There was a time when I was less responsible. But I’m different than I was, and they just can’t see it.”
“Families are tough. I get it.” I lock eyes with her to make sure she hears me and understands. “But for what it’s worth, I see it. I see you.”
Her subtle intake of breath is quiet, but it tells me my words landed. Her eyes go a little glassy, and she nods. “Thank you.”
I take a step closer to her, watching every minute shift in her expression as I move into her space. Her lips part, and she leans slightly forward.
With my index finger, I trace the shape of her cheekbone, letting the contours guide my hand over the apple of her cheekand down toward her chin. She stands frozen in place, trembling under my touch. Feel her shaky exhale.
