Page 64 of Under His Control


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Idiot, she furiously chided herself as the tears continued to fall. You’ve been reading too many romance novels.

He’d told her from the beginning he wasn’t interested in anything more than their week together. Why had she believed she could somehow change the outcome? Why had she allowed herself to fantasize that he would have a sudden change of heart?

It was her own damn fault. The scene they’d shared that night at The Enclave had blinded her to reality. She should have followed her gut and refused the placement. She should have asked Master Anthony if it was possible to be placed with one of the remaining Doms who actually wanted something more than a week of BDSM play.

As she cried, she was vaguely aware of light footsteps coming down the concrete stairs. Looking up, she saw Jaime approaching, her face a mask of concern. In a moment, she was beside Ellen, placing a warm hand on her shoulder and giving her a comforting squeeze.

“Hey,” Jaime said gently. “It’s okay, Ellen.” She stroked Ellen’s arm as she spoke. “We’ll work through this together. You’re not alone, Ellen. I’m right here beside you.” Her kind words and soothing touch just made Ellen cry harder.

They sat like that for a while until Ellen’s sobs slowly subsided into snuffling hiccups. Dropping her hands, she looked up at Jaime with a woebegone smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.” She managed a small, bitter laugh. “I’m feeling like a jilted lover, which is ridiculous. Clearly, love never came into it.”

She swiped angrily at the tears that again threatened to fall. She categorically refused to keep crying. The bastard wasn’t worth it.

Jaime’s smile was kind, her eyes sad. Rising from the sofa, she grabbed a box of tissues from the top of the supply cabinet. Plucking several from the box, she handed them to Ellen as she resumed her position on the sofa.

“I’m assuming this is about Master Damon? Was the week not what you hoped for?”

Ellen blew her nose and wiped at her damp face with a tissue. She felt that almost pleasant exhaustion after a good, cathartic cry.

“The week was amazing,” she admitted. “Master Damon was everything I’ve always wanted in a Dom. He was dominant and controlling in a good, sexy way. He challenged me constantly to be my best submissive self. He took me to places I’ve never managed to get to on my own before, not even during The Enclave training.”

“It sounds fantastic,” Jaime enthused. “I’m dying to know where he took you that The Enclave Masters didn’t. I thought they had every possible base covered when it comes to teaching true submission.”

“He helped me really connect with what I’ve always thought of as my inner dirty girl,” Ellen admitted with a shy smile. “He took me out of myself. Once I could work past my inhibitions, it was incredibly freeing.” She hugged herself, adding, “And it wasn’t just the BDSM stuff that was so awesome. We watched movies together. We talked about things that mattered to us. I really felt a kindred connection with him.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful, Ellen. I’m so happy for you.” Her expression clouded as she added, “But I’m guessing from what you said about feeling jilted that Master Damon decided not to extend your contract, while you had hoped he would?”

“Yeah.” Ellen sighed. “That’s it in a nutshell. We spent the most intense, awesome week together and then—poof—just like that, it was over. It’s like that stupid cliché of the guy who is so totally into you until he finally gets you in bed. Then he drops you like a hot potato.”

“Yikes, that’s harsh. Is that what he did? Is that why you’re here? He just, like, dropped you off and hit the road?”

“That’s exactly what he did,” Ellen said bitterly, enjoying her rising righteous indignation. “It was basically an extended, super intense and all-encompassing ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.’” She started to laugh in spite of herself. “An ‘it’s been real but now it’s over. See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya,’ total blow off.”

Jaime snorted. “Sounds like you’re better off without the guy. Who needs that shit?”

“Exactly,” Ellen exclaimed. “Who needs him?”

She ignored the tiny, sad voice inside her that whispered, “I do.”

“That’s the spirit,” Jaime said with a grin. “You know, there’s going to be another auction next week, one for the local BDSM community. I’m sure the Masters would be fine adding you to the roster. It’s still early days. Your Master Right is definitely out there, Ellen. I’m sure of it.”

For a moment, Ellen considered the idea. Jaime was right—there were plenty more Doms in the sea. And a curated Enclave auction was definitely the best place to find one. She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. No commitment-phobes this time. She’d learned her lesson.

“Maybe,” she said slowly. “Maybe I will come back for another auction. But next week’s too soon.” She forced a brightness into her tone. “I have to get back to work. I have a deadline coming up and I’ve barely started on the illustrations.”

Jaime nodded. “I get it. A break in between placements is probably a good idea, anyway.” Reaching out, she ran a light finger over one of the marks still visible on Ellen’s breast from the knife play. “I heard Master Anthony discussing his Charlotte club over dinner the other night. He’s thinking of running an auction at Lair Sade later this month. You’re from Charlotte, right?”

As Ellen nodded, Jaime continued enthusiastically, “So, that might be perfect for you. Maybe Master Right is waiting right now for you to discover him, someone whose long-term goals align better with yours.”

“Maybe,” Ellen replied noncommittally.

But her traitorous heart had already made up its mind. She didn’t want another Master. She wanted Master Damon.

Which was stupid, since he’d made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t interested in pursuing anything more than the occasional one-night scene going forward.

She blew out an exasperated breath. She was not going to be one of those women who pathetically pined for an unavailable man. Someone who closed herself off to new possibilities because she was hopelessly clinging to “what might have been.” Life was way too short.

“Either way,” Jaime said, smiling. “You know you’re always welcome here at The Enclave. Don’t be a stranger.”

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