Page 73 of Under His Control


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Her eyes slid to the box and then back to him. “What… What are you doing here?”

He guffawed to hide his embarrassment. “Good to see you, too.”

Ellen took a step back, her arms crossing protectively over her torso, her expression suddenly guarded.

He sighed, furious at himself for fucking things up right out of the gate. “I’m sorry,” he said, meaning it. “I should have called or texted or something. I just…” He trailed off, at a loss at what to say next, how much to reveal.

She remained silent, but she was watching him, her eyes moving over his face as she waited. At least she hadn’t slammed the door in his face.

He tried to think of something clever or amusing to ease the tension crackling between them. He racked his brains for something that would excuse his just showing up out of the blue, without leaving himself too vulnerable in the process.

Marty’s words echoed in his mind.

“You may be damaged. But you’re not broken. Trust in that love. Trust in yourself.”

Talk about irony. During their week together, Damon had expected more of his sub girl—the unequivocal trust, the complete vulnerability—than he’d ever been willing or able to give in return. She was the courageous one here. Not him.

“Can I come in, Ellen? I… I need to talk to you. Please.”

His heart stopped beating while he waited for her answer.

“Please,” he repeated, the word now no more than a whisper.

She took a step back, dropping her arms.

“Okay.” The ghost of a smile curved her lips. “Of course. Please, come in.”

Relief making him almost giddy, Damon gripped the handle of his rolling suitcase with one hand and lifted her package from the wall with the other.

Once he was inside and the door closed behind them, Ellen took the package from him. “My new canvases,” she said. “I’ve been waiting for these.” She nodded toward a freestanding coat rack near the door. “You can hang your jacket there.”

She held the package in front of her like a shield as he removed and hung his jacket. Suddenly self-conscious, Damon ran his hands down his rumpled shirt in a vain effort to smooth it. “Sorry I look like crap,” he said with an embarrassed laugh. “I just got back from overseas. I came straight here.”

Concern flashed in her eyes. “Is everything okay?” she asked, still clutching the package to her chest.

“Yes,” he said, unable to contain his smile. “It is now.”

He reached for the box that stood between them and gently but firmly took it from her grasp. Setting it against the wall, he turned back to her, trying to formulate the words he longed to say, words she needed to hear.

“Ellen,” he began, his voice suddenly hoarse as a lump rose in his throat. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I was… I’ve been an idiot.” His eyes slid from her face as he made his confession. “A total fucking idiot. Because of my own baggage and bullshit, I put an arbitrary end to whatever it was that was happening between us.”

He blew out a breath, feeling as if he was poised on the edge of a cliff, trying to find the courage to leap. He looked back at her face and, all at once, his fear fell away. She was watching him with such a hopeful, earnestly sweet expression that he stepped over the edge, no longer caring if he’d find his wings.

He could hardly believe what he was about to say, yet the words rang so true in his head and his heart that it was impossible not to say them aloud. “I want to claim you properly this time, without artificial time limits and contracts. I want to earn your trust and submission, rather than demand it. I want to be the Master you deserve.”

Time stopped again as he waited for her response. He couldn’t blame her if she laughed in his face or told him he needed to leave.

But instead of doing either of those things, she did something altogether different. She laughed, the sound one of surprise and joy, mingled into one. It was like a door unlocking and opening in his tortured soul, allowing the light to spill in.

Her smile deepened, awakening the dimples in her cheeks. Tears shone in her eyes as she held out her arms to him.

In one stride he was there, pulling her into an embrace as he breathed her in, hiding his face in the crook of her neck as he blinked back tears. Then he pulled back just enough to take her face into his hands.

Dipping his head to hers, he kissed her.

Chapter 29

Ellen melted as Damon’s mouth closed over hers. If this was a dream, she never wanted to wake. His kiss was careful at first, a tentative exploration. He murmured her name between kisses, his voice low and tender.

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