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“Sage, that explosion knocked me flat on my back, and I was easily fifty yards away. The explosion blew out my eardrum. There’s no way?—”
“But you didn’t find his body.”
My memory is probably unreliable. When I pushed off the ground, it had been chaos. Charred wasteland where the building had been. I suffered from tinnitus for days. If it hadn’t been for the random girl on my lap, a random girl I’d met in that bar and had every intention of fucking, I would’ve been with him. I might’ve seen something. Picked up on someone speed walking away. A glance back laced with fear. A warning to run.
Of course, I can never tell her. If I hadn’t been breaking protocol, if I hadn’t been drinking, moving in on a nameless woman, Sam might be here today.
Sage holds onto hope because they didn’t uncover his body. If she’d seen the explosion, her hope would be obliterated.
“Whether I’m right or wrong, he wouldn’t want you carrying this. Holding on to this.” She’s stepped closer and she’s lightly touching my arm. “If I’m honest, there’s a part of me that hopes he’s working undercover somewhere. That me showing up at your place will trigger something and he’ll show up and…”
She lets the words trail. I’m not sure at this point who is comforting who. Nothing good can come from talking about Sam.
The silver medic bracelet on her wrist glitters in the sun.
“How’s your health? Are you good?” It’s a needed conversation change.
“Yes.” Her smile is weak, and I hope it’s because her thoughts are still on Sam and not because she’s sugarcoating the truth. There were a lot of meds in her black duffel. I finger the bracelet.
“My parents gave me the bracelet. I don’t have to wear it. I choose to.” She rubs the silver. Her allergies are engraved on the backside of the flat piece. “You saw my medicine.” It’s not a question. “I’ll take them for the rest of my life. Immunosuppressants. Prednisone. Statin. Antihypertensive. All things to keep my body from rejecting my donor organs, manage my blood pressure and risk of infection. I know you remember me as someone who had to be taken care of, but I’m self-sufficient now. I’m good at taking care of myself.”
“I can see that.” A part of me wants to ask about her life expectancy. I vaguely remember Sam talking about it back then, about how many years the surgery bought her. But it’s not an easy question. There’s always Google.
I brush back her soft hair, silky to the touch. Breathe in her light, sweet scent. My heart pounds within my chest, noticeably rattled, as if I ran miles.
She tilts her head back, and my gaze falls to her pale pink lips. Dipping my head, brushing my lips across hers, would be the most natural thing in the world. If she raised up on her toes, lifted herself inches higher, we would kiss, like we did so long ago, after she received a new lease on life.
Kiss her.
CHAPTER 10
Sage
My lips tingle. His chest rises and falls inches from mine, and his pupils grow into dark pools. Heat from his touch envelops my waist. Awareness of physical symptoms rises. Shortness of breath. A rising heart rate. Light-headed dizziness.
“Hey, guys?—”
My knees wobble as my lungs kick into action, and I suck in a gallon of air. Knox’s firm grip on my elbow steadies me, keeping me upright.
“I can come back,” Felix calls, his steps grating the white gravel roof.
“No. It’s fine. We were just…” There’s white dust on the rim of Knox’s running shoes, and a pocket on his cargo shorts is ripped and frayed. “I was filling her in on Sam.”
That’s exactly right. He’d been telling me about my brother, and my fantasy-filled brain interpreted it as me starring in a Hallmark movie. My brain needs to channel Criminal Minds instead. A little Reed brilliance. I still haven’t heard from Sloane. Someone came after me with a gun. There are many more important things than teenage crushes. Unavailable, pointless teenage crushes.
“You know, I have some pictures of Sam.” My gaze sweeps up Knox’s lower extremities, well-developed calves and loose, tattered shorts that brush the top of his knees, to Felix. “Was thinking about it, and if you want them, I can share them. Give me your email.” He shrugs and tilts his head in an almost bashful manner. “He was a great guy. One of the good ones.” His lips scrunch and he rocks back, uneasy.
“He is one of the good ones.” I offer him a smile, but don’t miss the silent exchange between Felix and Knox. Sure, Knox just told me all about how my brother supposedly couldn’t have survived. But in reality, he provided evidence Sam could be alive. They never found the body. Maybe he went behind the building. There might’ve been an underground bunker. “But I’d love those photos.” With a deep inhale, I add, “Thank you.”
“Ryan’s contact at Interpol briefed him,” Felix says, twisting slightly to address Knox. Felix has thick, black hair and a deep tan that contrasts with his bright white teeth when he smiles. His relaxed demeanor makes it hard to picture him firing guns at people or practicing hand-to-hand combat. “They’ve been monitoring the research center since shortly after it opened. In return for their investment, Lumina gained two board seats and controlling interest.”
“Sloane viewed investment as a positive. It was important to her because she said her research won’t generate revenue for years, possibly decades.” Knox’s gaze travels back to me. Is this something I should’ve mentioned yesterday? How is it important?
“They got a tip that the research facility was breaking international law, which is the reason it hit their watch list.”
“What law?” Rule-abiding Sloane wouldn’t willingly break the law. Unless she disagreed with the law. How many times growing up did she tell on me to my parents? She’s the queen of rules. She only uses reusable shopping bags. In school, she measured any skirt or shorts she wore to ensure she didn’t violate the school policy on length above the knee. It drove our mom crazy, because she kept telling her it was a recommended guideline, not a public school dress code.
“Under current law you can’t grow an embryo in a lab beyond fourteen days,” Felix says.
