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‘It’s a good thing,’ Archie said with a smile. ‘I wanted to see if you’d consider going for helm. Eddie’s going to be retiring soon, so I could do with an extra.’
‘Me?’ Nikki was surprised.
‘Reckon you’d be the best person for the job. You’ve got a lot of experience under your belt now. It’ll be tough, but I think you’ve got it in you.’
Nikki was silent for a moment. It had taken up a lot of her spare time to study to be navigator, and helm would be an even bigger commitment and a huge responsibility.
‘You’d be the first woman in Speedwell to take the helm,’ Archie told her.
She grinned at him. ‘You know I can’t turn down the challenge now.’
He shrugged, but his eyes were twinkling. ‘Just saying.’
‘You really think I can do it?’
‘You know I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t.’
This was true. Archie had never suffered fools gladly. He had been shore crew the day of the disaster, helping launch the lifeboat into that turbulent water, and he’d never really got over the loss of his cohorts. Nikki looked at him now, his once fair hair flying in the breeze, his brilliant blue eyes that never missed anything gazing at her as he waited for her response.
She wanted to do it. Of course she did. To prove to herself she could. To honour her dad. For the rest of the crew. For Archie, who trusted her. But was it realistic? Work was full on for the next few months, and she’d taken on the renovation. The anniversary was coming up and that would take a lot of time. Would she be overstretching herself?
‘Would you let me think about it?’ she asked. ‘I don’t want to take it on and then find it’s too much.’
‘That’s why I’m asking now. There’s plenty of time, but you’re the one I want.’
That was high praise indeed coming from Archie.
‘I’ll let you know, when I’ve had a chance to think it over properly. I wasn’t expecting to be asked, and I need to make sure I can give it my best. Thank you.’
He tapped her on the arm. ‘You’re all right.’
He didn’t need to say any more. She knew the subtext. This was about her dad. Her following in his footsteps. She knew then she would have to accept the challenge.
She left the lifeboat station, unable to keep the smile off her face, unable to believe that Archie had such faith in her. He knew how much it would mean to her, to be asked. What an honour it was. She would do it, she decided. She’d have to be very organised, and strict with her time. Once summer was over and the renovation was done, she’d be able to focus on her study. Of course she could do it. Why was she even doubting herself?
She slipped back into the office. She wanted to write up her notes from the meeting with Alec and Phoebe and set a date with them for a presentation once she’d done some research. Then she was due to meet her mum in the Neptune. They were going to the anniversary committee meeting together – they were in charge of catering, booking the food trucks and ice cream vans and a mobile bar. Helen had stepped down as chair the year before, and Tamara Lethbridge had taken over.
‘The committee needs new blood,’ her mum had said, when Nikki voiced her concern that Tamara wasn’t the right person. She wasn’t local, and wasn’t very good at listening to the quieter members of the committee who’d been serving since the beginning. To Nikki’s mind, that wasn’t how a good chair operated, but perhaps she should give her the benefit of the doubt. She was certainly dynamic.
The post had arrived while she was out and she scooped it up, threw it on the desk, went to open her laptop, then froze.
There was another postcard. Face upwards on the desk, the black lettering standing out defiantly.
Who else knows the truth, besides you? And me?
Nikki squeezed her eyes shut, praying it would be gone when she opened them again. It wasn’t.
This proved that she was a target, and it wasn’t a random marketing message like she’d tried to convince herself it was. Whoever sent it knew where she lived, and where she worked. And presumably what she had done. What a fool she was, to think she could swan about, flaunting herself as a shining example of a successful woman who had it all and could do it all when actually she was living a total lie.
She felt bile rush into her stomach, and the creeping claw of paranoia. All the joy of Archie’s proposition evaporated. All she wanted was to rush home and crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head and hide her shame from the world. But she couldn’t miss the committee meeting and her mother would be waiting for her at the Neptune. Instead, she got out her phone and texted the one person in the world she knew she could trust.
16
‘Gran! For heaven’s sake, relax. You look as if you’re in pain. Like someone’s stuffed a broom up your bum.’
Helen took the weight off the palms of her hands. She was leaning back onto the wall overlooking the bay, and the stones were digging in. Everyone seemed to have their profile pictures taken with the pyramids or the Eiffel Tower or Machu Picchu looming behind them. The craggy cliffs of Speedwell would have to do for now – in the sunshine, she could almost be anywhere.
She was wearing a pink linen shirt, teamed with skinny white jeans with frayed hems and her chunky platform trainers. She’d blow-dried her hair so it shone like polished copper, then tousled it up with a bit of product so she looked windswept rather than groomed. A gold chain and small diamond hoops had finished off her outfit. William had given her the earrings for her fortieth birthday. She’d cried and he’d laughed at her, kindly. ‘If I’d known they were going to make you cry, I wouldn’t have bought them.’
