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He looked at her, his eyes wide. Those eyes she knew so well. It was the laughter in them that had drawn her to him when he turned up that first day at school. He exuded mischief and warmth, always happy to play the clown yet always there for her, through thick and thin.
Now, Nikki tried to answer his question with logic. ‘Everything. My relationship with everyone in my family. Which is the only thing that matters to me. Jess, obviously.’ She gave a wry smile. ‘She’d probably kill me on the spot. Mum would be horrified. And Juno …’ She shut her eyes at the thought of her niece knowing the truth about the aunt she held in such high esteem. ‘Graham’s a bloke, so I guess he wouldn’t be so bothered, but he wouldn’t be impressed.’ In her mind, her family stood in front of her. She could see their expressions. Disgust, mostly. ‘The whole town would turn their back on me. Think of all the support they gave me. All the kindness. After dad. And all the time I was living a lie …’
‘Nikki.’ Woody’s voice was calm and kind. ‘It was a lifetime ago. And you’re only human. Everyone makes mistakes. You’re being too hard on yourself as usual.’
‘It’s easy for you to say. It’s not your reputation that’s going to be in shreds.’
He flipped the lid on a second bottle of beer.
‘Let’s look at who it could be.’ He took a quick slug and wiped his mouth. ‘The only person you’ve ever told is me, right?’
‘Yes. And I have to hope it isn’t you.’ She managed a half-laugh.
‘It’s a risk. Have you got a paper and pen?’
‘Yep.’ She cleared the plates and took them into the kitchen, where she grabbed a pad of paper and a biro, then put them in front of Woody.
He picked up the pen and wrote: WHO KNOWS? And underneath he put three names. NIKKI – WOODY – RIK. Then he drew three lines under Rik’s name.
‘That’s the weak link right there. We don’t know who Rik might have told.’
Nikki put a hand to her mouth. ‘He wouldn’t have told anyone, surely?’
‘He might have. Easily. He could have had a confidante. Someone he’d known for a while and thought he could trust.’
‘Oh my God.’ Nikki sank back into the chair. ‘I’d never thought of that.’
‘I’ve told you before, Nik. You’re too trusting. People say one thing and do another all the time.’ Woody tapped the nib of the biro on the paper. ‘We really don’t have much to go on until they make their next move. We don’t know what they want, so we don’t have a motive. It’ll be one of two things though. Money. Or revenge.’
Nikki shut her eyes. Revenge. The thought pumped ice through her body, leaving a cold chill around her heart.
‘Or both,’ he finished.
‘Don’t sound so bloody cheerful about it.’
He ruffled his fingers through his hair so it stuck up in a little tuft. ‘You’ll be fine. I’ll get you through this.’
Suddenly Nikki didn’t want to discuss it any more. She was going round in circles, and although Woody was trying to help, he was adding to her anxiety. She needed to sleep. It was the only way she could escape the questions whirling around her brain. She put one hand on top of one of his and squeezed it gratefully. ‘Thank you. Either way, I need to get an early night. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.’ She paused. ‘Shall I get you a cab?’
‘I’ll jog back,’ he said. ‘I missed my run this morning.’ He looped a long arm around her and dropped a kiss on her head. ‘Try not to worry. I know you will, but worrying is playing right into their hands and making you vulnerable. We’ll fix this, one way or the other.’ While he was standing there in her house, his warmth around her, with his certainty that truth and justice would always win the day, she believed him. ‘Whatever happens, you’ve got me. You know that, don’t you?’
He was very intense and serious, for Woody, and she looked up at him, startled.
‘Of course,’ she said. ‘That’s what we agreed. That we’d always be there for each other.’
He disentangled himself and grabbed his jacket, sliding it on and heading for the front door. He held a pretend phone to his ear as he opened it.
‘Call me any time,’ he said, and she gave him a thumbs-up.
Twenty minutes later she lay in bed, curled up under the covers, going back over everything Woody had said, wondering if perhaps he was right about Rik telling someone. But he couldn’t have. He wouldn’t have. If anything, he was the one who wanted it kept a secret. She should have left town, after the wedding. That would have changed everything.
41
Then
Somehow, she’d got through the wedding. Somehow, she managed to smile in all the right places. Watched as her sister turned to Rik at the altar and repeated her vows, watched him slide the ring onto her finger, watched as they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. Somehow, she managed to dodge the bouquet as it flew through the air, letting Niamh step forward and catch it to cheers and clapping. Everything was perfect. Of course it was, because she’d made sure of it, down to the last rosebud tied onto the napkins with gold thread. She’d given her sister the wedding she’d dreamed of. There had only been one detail she’d got wrong, and that hadn’t been of her making.
All she could think about was what Rik had said to her. His lips on hers, the pounding of his heartbeat through his red silk shirt. She had no idea where she’d found the strength to send him away. Time and again she replayed a different ending. The two of them flying through the streets hand in hand and jumping on his boat. Jess arriving to an empty altar. Jilted.
