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‘I haven’t stayed up this late for a long time.’ Adam looked at the clock. It was gone three.
‘Me neither. And I’d better go.’ Nikki was starting to shiver. The wet bathing suit under her robe felt as if it was made of ice.
‘I didn’t mean for you to get cold.’ He reached out and began to rub her arms briskly, as you might a child. ‘Is that better?’
She laughed. ‘Much.’
He stopped rubbing her arms, just held her in place with his hands. ‘I don’t want you to go.’
She wasn’t sure what to say. What did he mean?
‘I’m so happy to have met you,’ he said. ‘I was scared to come here, after Jill. But I didn’t want to stay in my old life without her. It felt wrong.’ He sighed with the effort of his revelation. ‘Oh God, I hope this doesn’t sound mad. And it’s not the tequila talking …’
He looked away. A bit emotional.
‘Hey. It’s OK,’ Nikki said. She put a hand up to his cheek and turned his face back to hers.
‘I wake up in the morning and I want to do things. I haven’t felt like that for a long time. I want to go swimming, or go for a run with Gatsby, or go to the harbour to buy crab, or learn how to paddle board in the harbour. Last night was the first time I’d been to a party since she died. It felt good. It was fun.’
She wasn’t sure what to say. ‘You know what they say. Time …’
‘I don’t think it is time. I think it’s you.’
Nikki stood there, in her robe and Crocs, her hair damp and flat, her make-up long gone, the least glamorous she had ever felt in her life. ‘Me?’
‘You’ve made me feel as if anything’s possible. You’ve made me realise that I can start to live again. And every day I hope …’
He trailed off.
‘Hope what?’
‘That I’ll see you.’
Her eyes widened in surprise. ‘Oh!’ And she smiled. ‘Me too. I hope I’ll see you, I mean.’
She stepped towards him. And she felt his arms reach around her, and she was filled with warmth, not just from the contact of his embrace but from his words.
He was going to kiss her. He was going to kiss her. He was going to kiss her.
And then she remembered. She didn’t have the freedom to fall into his arms. To fall in love with him. She was being threatened, by someone who knew the kind of person she was. She couldn’t just reinvent herself and waltz off into the sunset with Adam, because the truth would come out and ruin everything.
She pulled away from him.
‘What’s the matter?’ He looked at her, puzzled. She looked into his face. Those warm smiling eyes, filled with concern. The faint grey smattering of three-o’clock-in-the-morning stubble against the tan of his cheek. The deep laughter lines grooved into his face, either side of his mouth.
‘I need to tell you something,’ she said.
‘Oh God.’ His face fell. ‘It’s never good when people say that.’
‘I just … want to be honest. About my past. It was all a very long time ago, but I need you to know. And then you can make up your mind about how you feel about me.’
She knew she was taking a risk telling him. But she didn’t feel comfortable keeping it a secret. It had been part of her for so long. And if she and Adam were meant to be, he would be able to see past it. And if not … well, that was the price she would pay.
He looked thoughtful for a moment. She shivered as she waited for his reply.
‘OK,’ he said. ‘Let’s get you into something warmer first. And then you can tell me everything.’
Ten minutes later, he had lit a fire in the grate and she was sitting on the sofa, wrapped up in a pair of his pyjama bottoms, a jumper and thick socks. His clothes were like a warm embrace, comforting, and they gave her the courage to do what she needed to do. She started at the beginning and she finished – well, she finished with the day it all ended.
