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My knee-jerk reaction is to tell him I don’t want to talk about it. But instead I say, “If I tell you about my father, I want to know more about Tony.”
Seven
Rhys
Hearing Tony’s name coming out of Parker’s mouth makes me feel sick. Of course Tony’s in every room I’m in with clients because he’s always on my mind, but it’s different with Parker. He doesn’t know anything about Tony and the jobs and how all the money goes to him. He doesn’t know that I’m trapped.
I wanted it to stay that way.
But I can also tell that Parker wants to talk about his father. He’s too scared to do it without asking me to be vulnerable with him. Maybe he doesn’t want what I usually give to clients, but I can give him this.
“Tony worked with my father. He used to come around the house all the time. And one day, I realized he was coming around because he was looking for something. I’d just turned fifteen.” My throat tightens, and my breath feels like it’s stuck in my lungs. I hate remembering that time in my life. The time before Tony got ahold of me. Before everything hurt so bad.
Before I became nothing but a toy for people to use.
Parker doesn’t say anything, but his hand is still underneath mine. Steady.
I don’t want to tell him these things. Give him ammunition to use against me later. But I tell myself that Parker’s not like that. I haven’t known him that long but living the way I do, I’ve learned how to read people really well. And Parker’s caught in his own world of pain.
Not only that, but he could’ve hurt me today. He could’ve used me like everyone else does, but he didn’t. He was gentle with me. Kind. He made sure I found just as much pleasure as he did.
“It was me or Jack,” I finally say. “And I couldn’t let it be my little brother. He was only ten.” I pause, trying to decide how much of the truth to tell him. He can’t know Tony still controls me. Parker seems like the type of person who’d try to get me out of it. And that would get Jack hurt.
He waits a beat, then asks, “Have you ever been with someone who wasn’t a customer? Like someone you actually wanted to be with?”
I hesitate, trying to figure out what it is he’s looking for. “I want to be with you.”
He frowns, letting me know that wasn’t the right answer. “No, Rhys, I mean really. Have you ever been with someone who didn’t pay for it?”
My cheeks heat and every muscle in my body tenses as memories of the non-paying ones start rolling in. Memories of blood and bruises and broken bones, even though they’re not supposed to damage the merchandise.
“Rhys?” Parker’s fingers squeeze mine. “It’s okay if you don’t want to answer.”
“No,” I finally say. “I’ve only ever been with customers. I mean, I was with Tony, too, but I didn’t want that either.”
“So you were a virgin when Tony took you?”
Even though it’s the truth, my stomach twists at Parker’s words. I try not to think about that term. About the fact that I hadn’t even had a real kiss before Tony took me to that cabin to fuck me.
“Yes.” The word comes out stiff.
“What happened to him?”
Even though I know I should’ve been, I wasn’t expecting the question, and it takes me a second to think up an answer. “I got too old for him,” I say, which is a reason a couple clients stopped using me after I turned eighteen.
Parker gives a disgusted noise. “He’s an animal, Rhys.”
I don’t disagree, but I also can’t talk about Tony anymore. So I change the subject. “What happened with your dad? Why’d he get arrested?”
“Ripped off a convenience store with a couple of friends. The police caught him first, and he immediately gave up the other two in exchange for a lighter sentence. He was already look at less time since he was the only one of them who didn’t fire his weapon.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Dad was always way more into using his fists. He told me once that he liked to feel someone’s skin splitting under his knuckles.”
It sounds like something Tony would say.
“So, after he was arrested, was that when you moved to UCSF with your brother?”
