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“Parker, I—”
He looks up at me, his skin pink from the heat of the water. “Are you scared?”
“No.” My hands shake, so I press them to the wall at my sides. I’m not scared; I’m just nervous. Being with Parker is just so nice. He makes me feel so good, and he never asks for anything in return. And that kindness is what really scares me.
I clamp my lip between my teeth and bite it hard. I want to be here, in the bathroom with Parker. My other life has no place here.
Parker looks up at me one more time before smoothing his hands down my thighs. “Just tell me if you want me to stop.”
I nod because I can’t find any words. Doing this with Parker is so different from when I do it with clients. Parker’s gentle and sure, almost making me forget about Tony and clients. And even then, it only takes a handful of seconds for the rest of the world to fade away. Then it’s just me and Parker and the water and his lips.
He drives me crazy, drawing it out to the point that I think I’m going to collapse. When he’s finished, I almost do. But he catches me as he stands, and I press myself to him, breathing in his clean scent. I wish we could stay like this forever.
But eventually, the hot water runs out, and Parker pulls me from the shower stall to hand me a towel. I wrap it around my waist and try to lock the heat from the shower inside me. I don’t want to lose that moment with Parker.
He guides me into his room and tosses me a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt. I breathe in his scent from the shirt but don’t put the clothes on. “Parker, I need to go.”
He tugs a shirt on over his head, messing up his still wet black hair. “Go where?”
“To work. I have…appointments tonight, and I can’t skip them.” I lean over and place the clothes on his bed. “I can come back if you want.”
“You don’t have to go. You can just stay here.”
“I can’t.” I grab my own clothes, the ones I had on when I got here earlier. They have some blood on them, but I don’t have a jacket to hide that. I drop the towel from my waist and start pulling my blue jeans on. I’m still sore, and I don’t have to look to know I’m covered in bruises. Parker didn’t mention anything about them when I was in the shower with him. He took care of me. Made me feel amazing.
Red creeps up my cheeks as I button my jeans. Parker’s a client. He’s a fucking client, and I have to stop forgetting that. Have to stop seeing him as anything other than that.
He crosses the room as I’m tugging my shirt on over my head.
“Rhys,” Parker says softly. “Please don’t go.”
“I have to.”
“You don’t—”
“You can’t stop him,” I interrupt. “No one can. So stop offering things you can’t actually follow through on.”
My hands shake at my sides before I’ve even gotten the last word out. I shouldn’t have spoken to him like that. I have no right.
“Stop who?” Parker asks, his voice low.
My body stills as my heartbeat speeds up. How could I have let that slip? I’ve been so careful for so long. Of course a lot of my clients know Tony—it’s how he started me working all those years ago. But Parker isn’t like them. He doesn’t need to know who I work for.
“Nobody,” I mumble, pulling my shoes on. “Forget it.”
“Rhys.” Parker grabs my wrists when I straighten up. His hold isn’t painful, but it’s tight. Letting me know I’m not going anywhere. “Who is it? Is it Tony? Are you still with him?”
I can’t speak. I can barely even breathe. I hate every bit of this. I’d deluded myself into looking at Parker as something separate from what I did with everyone else. He already knows about how Tony got me started in this; I just didn’t tell him that I still answer to Tony.
Parker searches my face, his brow furrowed. Then he asks quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me he was still controlling you?”
I press my lips together and look away from him. “Why would I tell you? You’re a paying client; whatever Tony does to me doesn’t concern you.”
He pulls back sharply as if I’ve hit him, and I take the chance to grab my jacket and head for the door. I want to give him an actual goodbye. Let him know I’m never coming back here. But when I glance back at him, I realize I don’t have it in me. Because there’s always going to be a piece of my heart that hopes one day I’ll see him again.
Fourteen
Parker
