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“I’ll make this right,” I say. “Wait here.”
I dodge Avel as he throws a punch. “Enough!” I say. “Ease off, and let me talk.”
Vlad shakes his head, and Avel reluctantly backs down. I glance at the faces around me, all marred with varying degrees of concern and anger.
It’s time. I steady myself and address the only person other than Lilyana whose perspective truly matters.
“For fuck’s sake, Vlad. You still don’t trust me? I’ll tell you something I swore I’d take to my grave.” I point at my face. “You see my scar? Your bastard of a father did this to me.”
Morgana claps a hand over her mouth, but Vlad keeps his attention on me.
“I wasn’t meant to be in the house,” I continue, my voice heavy with the weight of the memory. “Sergey was yelling at Lilyana. She was only six. It was about a year after her accident, I think. I didn’t know her then; she was just some kid I saw now and again. I never regretted what I did.”
Vlad is as still as stone. “Which was?”
“The door to the study was ajar,” I continue. “I looked inside and saw your father hit Lilyana. Backhanded her full force, gold rings and all. I had my knife in my hand before I knew what I was doing, and I flew at him.”
“You fought him?” Vlad asks. “No one ever fought my father and lived. Why didn’t he kill you?”
“He took my knife and tried to gouge my eye out.” I say, my voice flat, “but I caught his wrist and held him off. I was eighteen and had more stamina than him, so I got the upper hand and was ready to slit his throat. I offered to spare him if he swore never to lay a finger on Lilyana again, and he agreed on the condition that I never told a soul that I’d made the great Sergey Kislev beg for his life.”
"Bohze moy," Sasha murmurs. “He wasn’t an honorable man. His promises were worth fuck all.”
“He was a sick asshole in every sense of the word,” Vlad says, understanding dawning in his eyes. “I see where this is going. He let you believe bygones were bygones, right?”
“I don’t know why I trusted him,” I say, my voice breaking. “I wanted to be part of the family so bad. Sergey preyed on that wish. When I was set up for racketeering, he turned on me.”
“So he threatened to kill you if you talked?” Vlad asks.
“No. He said I had to do my time like a good little soldier and understand it was my punishment for defying him. If I caused any trouble, he wouldn’t only have killed me—he’d have killed Lili, too. He swore it, and I sure as fuck believed that promise.”
A choked sob escapes from Lilyana. She was just a child; none of it was her fault.
“I wouldn’t have ratted you out anyway, Vlad,” I say. “But I sure as Hell wasn’t prepared to risk anything happening to Lili. She’d been through so much, and I knew it’d tear you apart if your father—”
“Jesus Christ, Arman,” Vlad’s face drains of color. “You protected her better than I ever did. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You didn’t need that hanging over you,” I say, my gaze shifting to Lilyana. “When you got me out of prison and made me Lili’s bodyguard, I feared Sergey most of all. I thought he might do something terrible, but he was sick by then and wrapped up in himself. I didn’t know the little girl I’d given my freedom to protect would grow into the woman I’d adore.”
Vlad stares at me, and something deep within him breaks. It’s as though he’s seeing me for the first time.
“I’ll be damned,” he says. “You do love her, don’t you?”
“Yes.” I throw my hands in the air. “Kill me for it if you must, but I won’t pretend not to care. I worship the ground she walks on, and I do it gladly. God help me, can’t you see she’s the meaning of my worthless life?” I close my eyes. “I love her, and I can’t deny it anymore.”
I hear a gasp. Lilyana stands behind me, astonishment writ large on her face, and I smile.
“So what the fuck do we do now?” Sasha asks.
I walk past him, starting up the church steps. “Simple,” I say over my shoulder. “My Lilyana doesn’t want an audience? Then we get rid of them.”
29
Lilyana
Vlad follows Arman into the church, and moments later, the two men reappear at the head of the outgoing congregation. People walk past us and climb into their cars, muttering angrily, and I catch a few words.
Disgrace. Insult. Embarrassment. Joke.
