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Those were the good days.
Later that year, I’d found her cold in her bed, her eyes staring at the door, never to move again. I’d never forget the last look in her eyes as she’d stared longingly at freedom, so close, but forever out of her reach. She hadn’t wanted to be what she’d become. The door might have been right there, but she’d been unable to open it, a born addict.
After, they’d sent me to the other couple. Ironically, considering their hobbies, they’d been called the Cutlers. My nightmare had truly started then and never stopped. While my treasured memories of my mother were hazy, the memories of the Cutlers were vivid and detailed. I remembered every single second in that house, and I wished I could forget them all.
I pulled the photos of Lily’s journal up on my phone and settled down to read my favorite words. Oddly, it wasn’t just the dreams about me that I enjoyed. It was all the rest. The days and months of my Ladybug’s innocent, sweet thoughts. Her jokes with her friend, the things she’d learned in class, how she dreamed of being less restricted and free to be herself and make mistakes if she needed to.
An entry about trying a new cake recipe was a bedtime story for me. Like a vampire sucking the pure, brilliant life from the ordinary little tales. Stories I’d never come close to experiencing. I closed my eyes and pretended I’d been there with her, safe inside this warm, welcoming house, far away from the monsters in my dreams.
Like always, though, when I slept, the warmth faded away and the nightmares returned. After all, I hadn’t left my demons in Midnight Falls.
My monsters lived in my head, and there was no escape.
* * *
We played an away game that week, and the team was all business. We walked the win, and Coach talked about the road that would lead us to Nationals. It was going to happen, I could feel it. For once in my life, something I’d planned and worked hard for was going to happen just like it was supposed to. I couldn’t let anything get in the way.
I decided to shower back at home, despite how gross I felt, because I didn’t want everyone waiting on the bus for me just so I could shower alone at the end. I might be used to being eccentric about my shower habits, but I didn’t want to rub it in everyone’s faces. It would only invite speculation, and I wasn’t in the mood.
I ended up first at the bus, seeing as everyone else was busy in the locker rooms. I perched outside on a low wall, looking at my phone to kill time. That was when the message came in.
Boo. I see you.
I stiffened immediately and stood, leaving my hockey bag on the ground. I turned just as Uncle Jack appeared in the open doors to the rink.
“Miss me, boy?”
Annoyance, anger, and a healthy dose of nerves ran through me. What the fuck was he doing here?
“Become a hockey fan all of a sudden?”
Jack laughed. “Not in the slightest, but I thought I should come and see you, considering our relationship.”
“We don’t have a relationship.”
“That’s right. We don’t, do we? You signed it away to a nice family from Hade Harbor…like that could save you.”
“Save me?” I snorted, glancing around to make sure that no one else from the team was around. “From you?”
“No, boy. From yourself. Nothing will ever be able to save you from yourself. You’ve already started to fuck up here.”
“And how would you know that?” I asked, bored with his empty, pathetic threats.
“A little birdie told me. They flew all the way over to Midnight Falls to ask about you.”
A little birdie?Normally I would tell Jack to fuck off, recognizing his lies and attempts to bother me, but today, something in his tone warned me that he wasn’t lying.
“Let’s see, what was her name, she had red hair, and a button nose…”
He trailed off, and I didn’t need him to continue to know.
“Lily.” My hollow tone satisfied Jack, and he beamed, sensing my weak point.
“Yes, Lily, that’s it. A pale, thoroughbred-looking girl. Don’t worry, I filled her in on you. Told her all about our time together,” he started and choked off when I grabbed him.
Rage like nothing I’d ever felt before filled me, startlingly hot, burning a path of destruction right through my mind and blotting out all rational thoughts.
“What the fuck did you tell her?” I growled at him, giving Jack the reaction he’d been waiting for.
