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“Well? Haven’t you got anything to say?”
My tongue felt thick. The pleasure and relaxation of before was draining quickly away as reality set in.
I shook my head. My father would have already decided how this conversation would go. Nothing I said would change that.
“Okay, well, how about this?”
Soren stood and grabbed the stick off the desk. He gripped it in both hands and raised it in a fast arc above his head, then smashed it down on the edge. The sound of the blade hitting the hard table echoed around the room.
“I’m not having a druggie for a son. I’m Soren fucking Anderson. Do you know how many kids would kill to be in your shoes? The only child of a billionaire?”
He brought the stick down again, and the crack made me feel sick. He was older now but still strong. He’d been an athlete in his youth, too, and I knew he was more than capable of breaking the stick.
He brought it down a third time, and it splintered in his hand. My heart broke right along with it. He tossed the remains aside and calmed himself, smoothing his hair back and fixing his cuffs. Then he sat and pinned me with a look.
“You’ll change all your classes to business-focused ones, and I’ll allow you to try out for the Hellions.”
“No,” my refusal jumped to my lips.
In high school, I’d only been interested in physical education classes and things that would elevate my playing. My father had forced me into taking business and economics classes, subjects I had zero interest in. During finals week, I’d barely bothered to write my name on the tests. I’d failed them all spectacularly. I’d thought that just maybe, my father would realize I didn’t want the life he imagined for me, or I wasn’t up to the task. Why would he want to leave the company to a dunce who couldn’t pass his high school business exams?
But Soren hadn’t cared. It was only abouthislegacy, after all, andhisreputation. The letter Eve had found was evidence that there was nowhere out of my father’s reach. He’d pulled strings to get me into HHU, and now, he was looking for a way to dictate the subjects I’d study.
“Yes.” Soren looked at me steadily. “Or I’ll turn your little hobby over to the cops and let them deal with it.”
I scoffed. “Right, like you’d let your only son go down for drugs…that’d be a PR nightmare.”
“My team can handle it. I doubt a single article would make it to press. Don’t test me, Beckett. If you embarrass me to the point where I decide to cut ties, I’ll bury you. You’ll be the disaster of a son who I couldn’t save. It’d be less of an embarrassment to me than you are now.”
“What kind of sentence does a first-time offender get? The cops are hardly a threat, and we both know you can’t cut me off. You’re bluffing.” I folded my arms across my chest and met my father’s icy stare.
It was a major point of annoyance for my father that his control over me wasn’t absolute. My grandfather had left hundreds ofmillions in a trust fund for me, and I already had access to it. I didn’t need my father’s money, and that bothered him. Money was how he controlled everyone else in his life. I allowed myself to think that just maybe, I’d outsmarted him this time, and we were at an impasse.
Then Soren smirked. “How about I just tell the Hellions coach about it, then? And the NHL recruiters. A drug record doesn’t fly in the big leagues, does it?”
A hand wrapped around my heart and crushed it hard.Fuck.
“Opioids only stay in your system for hours. Even a test wouldn’t show them. I’ve never done them before playing.”
“Researched it, have you? What a conscientious little fuck-up you are. It doesn’t matter. Something you have to understand in this life, Beckett, is that a good reputation is priceless. Once lost, you can’t get it back. As soon as the seed is planted in the coach’s mind, he won’t trust you.”
He was right.Fuck. It felt like I was watching my life come crashing around my ears, and there was nothing I could do but wait and see where the pieces fell.
He watched me for a long moment, and I knew I wasn’t doing a good job of hiding my emotions. I’d never been good at it. I felt too much. My emotions were messy and white-hot. Stuffing them down inside me was only possible when I took enough pills, and never without them.
“I see we understand each other. From now on, you’ll act like I want you to, or this little stash goes to Eric Williams. I doubt the new coach of the HHU Hellions would want you on the team, regardless of your talent. You’re broken, Beckett, and once everyone sees that, they won’t want anything to do with you.”
His words weren’t new. I wondered if Colette had planted that particular adjective in my father’s head, or vice versa.
My chest felt tight, and my heart ached. I needed to take something for it, but I could tell by my father’s expression that that wasn’t an option.
“This filthy, weak habit of yours needs to be kicked yesterday. You’ll be drug tested daily until I can trust you to live on campus at HHU.”
I swallowed hard. I had no way to fight him on that. My skin broke out in a cold sweat at the thought of being cut off. I could try to find a way around the testing, but I could tell my father was serious about this. He’d be on my ass, making sure I was clean, and if I wasn’t, he’d probably take pleasure in getting me barred from the hockey team.
“Looks like you’re going cold turkey, son. Good luck. Don’t think about going out again tonight, or for the next few days. I need time to set up the testing, and I don’t want you out and about.” Soren waved a hand toward the door, dismissing me.
I stood there a moment longer, locked in place by disbelief. An hour ago, everything had been fine, and now my life was fucked. How had this happened?
