AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I groaned. “Very helpful, asshole.”
“That’s Sheriff Asshole for you.” He grew serious again. “How has it been for you, being back for so long? I had the impression you didn’t intend to stay, but you’re still here.”
I stared into my coffee. If anyone would understand, it was Auden. “That makes two of us. I feel restless and unsettled, and I don’t know why I can’t seem to say good-bye again.”
“You worried about Tiago?”
I shook my head. “Cas is perfect for him. Even I can see that.”
“You don’t feel like he replaced you?”
Leave it to Auden to cut right to the chase. “Of course I do. It would be impossible not to. But I’m trying to be the better man about it and be happy for him.”
“You should be. They’re so in love, Tomás. They’re good for each other. I know it’s not easy for you, but?—”
“You don’t know. With all due respect, Auden, but unless you’re a twin yourself, you can’t know. We share a bond that’s much deeper than between brothers.”
He nodded slowly. “Point taken. Let me word it like this, then. If I put myself in your shoes, I can understand it’s not easy for you. You’ve taken care of him your whole life, and now someone else is doing that. That could make a man wonder what his purpose is now.”
“Jesus Cristo, Auden, stab me in the heart, would you?”
“Am I wrong?”
“No.” I sighed. How did I put my tangled feelings into words? “No, you’re not. I’ve been…floundering lately, asking myself all kinds of heavy, existential questions I can’t seem to find the answers to.”
“And Fir isn’t able to help you figure things out?”
“Subtle. Very subtle.”
He shrugged. “If you didn’t want people to know you two are hooking up, you shouldn’t have parked your rather ostentatious car in his driveway for hours. Or him his recognizable car in Tiago’s when we all knew Tiago and Cas weren’t home.”
“How did you…? Never mind. Small town. I’d forgotten that everyone knows everyone else’s business here.”
“We do, and Fir isn’t exactly invisible as the town’s doctor and a single, gay man. And with you being openly gay as well, people talk. You can’t blame them for that.”
“I suppose you’re right. We’re…seeing each other. Casually. Very casually, I might add, so don’t count on any wedding invitations, okay?”
“I’m not counting on anything. I was just wondering what your intentions were.”
“My intentions? Jesus, are we back in the nineteenth century?”
“You weren’t here when Samuel died, Tomás. When we all had to watch Fir go through a heartbreak no one should ever have to endure, worrying if he was strong enough to come out on the other side. I don’t want to see him get hurt again.”
It stung. As much as I understood his first loyalty was with Fir and not with me, it still hurt. “And you’re not worried about me getting hurt. Is that what you’re saying? It’s only Fir who needs protecting?”
Auden opened his mouth, then closed it again. “I’m sorry,” he said after a long pause. “I guess it’s unfair of me to think he’s the only vulnerable one.”
“I have a heart too, you know? I may not always show it, but I do have feelings.”
“Tomás.” Auden’s voice was gentle. “I know you do, and I’m sorry for insinuating that you don’t. It’s just that… We were so worried about Fir back then, so heartbroken for and with him. He went through hell, and he deserves happiness. I’m not saying you don’t because you do. But he’s… He’s so kind and giving, and I want to see him happy again.”
“And I can’t give him that?”
“I don’t know. Can you? Are you interested in something long term? Because Fir doesn’t do flings.”
I snorted. “That statement alone proves you have no idea of what he wants. He’s the one who asked me for a hookup, Auden. Him, not me. He was very specific about what he wanted, and trust me, it wasn’t a wedding ring.”
Auden’s mouth had dropped open, and he closed it with a snap. “I’m… I don’t know what to say.”
