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“And for me. It’s a cute house, and Cas was able to fit me in for some updates next week. It was in good shape, but I wanted all wallpaper stripped and to get it painted.”
“Not a fan of the roses in the living room?”
Tomás shuddered. “That’s a firm no. No offense.”
“Right there with you. What color scheme did you pick?”
“Very basic, gray and white. I like gray ‘cause you can combine it with anything, so a few colorful decor pieces and furniture will give it character.”
“You own furniture?”
“I do now. Or I will the week after next. I ordered everything online, and it will be delivered as soon as the house is ready.”
It must be nice to have that kind of money where you could buy and furnish an entire house. Not that I envied him his wealth or thought he didn’t deserve it. He’d worked hard for it. “Can’t wait to see it.”
“We can meet there next time.”
Next time. Just like that. I needed to get the hell out of this situation before my heart decided to interpret all this as a sign that Tomás wanted more than my body.
“Sounds good.” I took a deep breath and checked my watch. “I hate to be rude, but it’s time for you to leave. The boys will be home in half an hour.”
He leaned back. “You want to keep me your dirty secret, huh?”
“I’d very much prefer for my two teenage sons not to know about their dad’s sex life, yes, thank you very much. I’ve always been open with them, but there are things no kid needs to know. This is one of them.”
He gave me a quick kiss and rolled away. “I know. I was teasing you.”
He got out of bed, his hair tousled and his cheeks still rosy. He unhurriedly stepped into my bathroom and grabbed a washcloth to clean himself a little. I loved how easily he did that, as if he’d done it before and was at home in my house. If only.
He put his underwear back on and grinned at me. “Pretty sure the rest of my clothes are somewhere on the staircase and in the hallway.”
“Probably.”
Tomás came over to the bed. “See you soon?”
“Yeah.”
He hesitated, then leaned in and kissed me. “Text me when you have time.”
“I will.”
My mouth was dry as he walked out of my bedroom, as always taking a little bit of my heart with him. He descended the stairs, and I heard him get dressed. Then the front door closed behind him. As I lay there in the silence, sadness washed over me. Alone once more.
The bed was still warm where Tomás had been moments ago, and the scent of sex lingered. I traced the rumpled sheets with my fingertips. That had been good sex. Spectacular sex. But that was all it ever would be, and I’d damn well better remember that.
As the minutes ticked by, I forced myself out of bed, padded over to the window, and stared out at the quaint streets of Forestville. This was my life, my home. I didn’t belong in Tomás’s fast-paced, glamorous world, and it would be foolish to even entertain the thought. Yes, we had a connection, but it was sexual chemistry, nothing more. On his side at least.
Though he had been different this time. More tender. More trusting. Less dismissive. But that didn’t mean anything, did it? We were becoming friends, that was all. Friends with benefits. Sort of. And that would have to be enough.
I opened the windows to air out the room, then got busy tidying and getting dressed. My boys would be home soon, and I’d need to assume the role of dad again rather than of a lover. As much as I yearned for affection and intimacy, I couldn’t lose sight of what mattered: being there for my sons and providing them with the love and stability they needed.
But as I greeted my boys a few minutes later with a smile and a hug, the tiny ember of hope in my heart refused to be extinguished.
16
TOMÁS
The Summer Festival in Forestville—which always fell around the Fourth of July—had always been a lively event when I’d been a kid, and little had changed. Families gathered on the sports fields, the air buzzing with laughter and conversation. Long rows of picnic tables were laden with an array of homemade dishes from succulent barbecued meats to colorful salads and mouthwatering desserts. The warm sun cast a golden glow over the festivities as children played games and chased each other through the grass.
