AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I took several deep breaths, trying to center myself and push past the crushing weight of my emotions. My chest tightened as I steeled myself against the pain, refusing to let it consume me. With one last glance in the mirror, I turned off the faucet and dried my hands.
But as I drove home, I couldn’t get rid of the heavy feeling inside me. Moments like this had become rarer as time had passed, but every now and then, it would all become too much. It seemed today was one of those days, and with a deep sigh, I grabbed my phone and called my mom. She picked up almost immediately. “Everything okay?”
I’d talked to her earlier, so she knew I wouldn’t call again without a reason. “Could you have Gabe and Josiah over for dinner? I’m not having a good day.”
“Of course, sweetheart,” Mom said, as always attuned to the needs of her family. “You know we’re always grateful to spend time with our grandsons.”
“Thank you. I’ll bring them as soon as I get home.” I ended the call. I’d gotten so, so lucky with my parents, who’d been loving and supportive my whole life.
When I got home, the boys were in the living room. Gabe was reading while Josiah was still doing homework. I ruffled Gabe’s hair and kissed Josiah on his head. “How was your day?”
“Good, Dad. Nothing special,” Gabe said.
“It was fine,” his brother said. Fine. That seemed to be the standard vocabulary of teens these days. Everything was fine, no matter the question.
“Good. You’re having dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s tonight, so can you grab your stuff?”
Gabe looked up from his book. “Everything okay?”
Finding the right balance between protecting them and showing them that sadness was okay was always a tough challenge, though the older they got, the more they could handle. Today, I opted for honesty. “It’s been a rough day, and I need some time alone.”
After giving me another thorough look, Gabe nodded. “No problem, Dad. We can stay for the night if you want. Grandpa can drive us to school.”
It wouldn’t be the first time, but things weren’t quite that bad. “I don’t think that’s necessary, but why don’t you take what you’d need just in case? That way, I can make that call later on.”
“Sure.”
A few minutes later, we headed toward my car, both boys with their backpacks slung over their shoulders. My parents only lived a three-minute drive away since they’d moved. Tiago, Tomás’s brother, had bought our old house. I hadn’t wanted to live that far from town, though the views were amazing. I’d been over for Christmas last year and had barely recognized my childhood home. Cas and Tiago had done one hell of a job on the renovation.
My parents were waiting for us on the porch, and my heart grew soft when they greeted my sons. The boys were way too old and cool to hug me, but they still allowed their grandma and grandpa to hold them.
“Come on in,” my mom said. “We’re having breakfast for dinner, so you guys need to tell me how many waffles and pancakes I should make.”
She sent me a loving look, then took the boys inside, leaving my dad and me. “Thanks for taking them tonight.”
My dad put his hand on my shoulder. “Anytime.”
Impulsively, I hugged him, and when those strong arms came around me, I was damn close to tears.
“You’ll get through this, kid,” my dad said. “And it’s okay to be sad…and to ask for help.”
I let go. “I know, and thank you for always being there for us.”
“Always. You know that.”
“Love you, Dad.”
“Right back atcha, kid. Now, take some time for yourself. Call us if we need to keep them overnight.”
“I will.”
I waved at him as I drove off, my heart full of gratitude. My parents had always been amazing, but they had leveled up, as Josiah would say, after Samuel’s death. They were my rock, my constant source of strength in this ever-changing world. I couldn’t have survived without them. My two sisters had been supportive as well, but since they lived farther away, they weren’t able to offer the practical help my parents could.
Back home, I stood in the dimly lit kitchen, the silence weighing on me. Funnily enough, now that my sons were gone, the house felt empty without them. Their absence left a void that seemed to magnify my loneliness.
With a sigh, I grabbed some pasta carbonara from the freezer. My mom often dropped off meals for us, another invaluable convenience she offered. I popped it into the microwave and set the timer. As the appliance hummed, I leaned against the counter.
My conversation with Tomás played on a loop in my head. I should’ve corrected him right then and there, made sure he’d misunderstood. But I had been so horrified I’d been speechless. Horrified and hurt because he’d dismissed me out of hand. The thought of a relationship with me hadn’t even warranted more than a few seconds of thought before he turned me down. Clearly, he didn’t consider me attractive, and that stung.
