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“Out of curiosity, why don’t you think you belong with Oliver and me?”
Delton closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer for composure. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. From the moment he arrived, you fell for him and stepped into the role of his protector. It was obvious you two shared something special, something I wasn’t a part of and could never be.” He made a helpless gesture. “I can’t compete with that. What you two have is on a whole different level, and I would always be an afterthought, an add-on. I may not have a lot of pride left, but I do value myself enough not to settle for that.”
“And you shouldn’t. You deserve way more than that.”
He hadn’t denied it, though. “But you agree?”
Adar shredded the leaf. “If you’d asked me yesterday, yes, I would’ve agreed. But after today? I don’t know, man. I’m asking myself a lot of questions I never did before.”
“I guess the honeymoon phase is over.”
“Yeah, you can say that again. I thought I knew Oliver, but clearly, I was wrong.”
“In all fairness, you didn’t know him. You two have barely spent time together besides you shadowing him, and considering he’s only been verbally communicating for a short time, you never had the chance to get to know him. But you thought you did, and I think that’s why this was such a nasty shock. You put him on a pedestal, Adar, and now he fell off hard. That part is not his fault.”
Adar bumped his shoulder. “You know what I appreciate about you so much? You tell the truth. Other people would’ve tried to make me feel better or would’ve told me what they thought I wanted to hear, but you continue to hold up this mirror. I don’t always like it in the moment, but it’s often what I need to grow.”
“Thank you. That’s a wonderful compliment, one I will treasure.”
“You’re a great guy, Delton. That’s why I am so upset about all this. You’re about the last person I wanted to see hurt.”
“Thank you.”
“I know this is not what you hoped for, and I’d understand if you said no, but I would love for us to be friends.”
Friends. No, that wasn’t what Delton had hoped for at all, but it was sweet of Adar to offer. “I’m not sure if I’ll stay in the pack.”
“You’re switching to the Hayes pack?”
Was it Delton’s imagination, or did Adar sound upset? “Either that, or I’m going to look for a different pack. I don’t know if I can stay here now that everyone knows.”
Another long pause. “I understand that, but… Please reconsider. You’re not only a wonderful and much-needed asset to the pack, but you’re also a stand-up guy and a great friend. I don’t want to lose you. That sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but I feel like we just connected, and the idea of you leaving makes me sad.”
“It’s not because of the impact play?”
Adar looked confused, which confirmed that it hadn’t occurred to him. “No. That wasn’t even a consideration.”
Was it enough? Could he be Adar’s friend and forget about the dreams he’d harbored for so long about a future for them? “I’ll think about it.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Adar hadn’t slept well. His brain had been too busy processing everything that had happened. He’d spent more time thinking than he had in a long while, maybe ever.
He wasn’t a thinker by nature. Academics had always been a struggle for him, but then again, he’d never wanted a career that required a sharp brain. He was perfectly happy the way he was, and he honestly didn’t feel less than anyone else. Society needed men like him too, didn’t it? Guys who preferred to work with their hands, who had more practical intelligence. Well, that was him.
But he sure as hell would’ve loved to have more brainpower now as he tried to work his way through everything and look at it from every side. The irony was that the one person most qualified to help him make sense of it couldn’t because he was involved. God, he would’ve appreciated Delton’s insights now, but how could he approach him when the man was so clearly hurting?
Seeing him break down in the woods had broken Adar’s heart. He’d wanted nothing more than to comfort him, hug him, tell him everything would be okay, but how could he when he was partially responsible for his pain? Well, maybe he wasn’t responsible because he hadn’t done anything to Delton. But he could still slap himself for not seeing what had been right in front of him the whole time. If he had, they wouldn’t be in this predicament.
When he got up that morning after clocking maybe three hours of sleep—and that was generous—he’d forced himself to eat breakfast. Where he normally wolfed down a massive portion, he now struggled to finish some scrambled eggs. His mind had been circling around one question. Should he spend the day with Oliver, like he would on any other day?
Oliver was still his mate. Adar wasn’t questioning that. He couldn’t, not when he knew deep down they were meant to be together. But that didn’t mean he should overlook what Oliver had done to him and Delton. Adar was convinced Oliver felt horrible about it, and his intention wasn’t to rub it in, but he had to figure out a way to get past it. Around it. Through it?
See, that was the kind of stuff Delton was so good at. He would’ve known what words to use and would’ve been able to give Adar advice on how to deal with this. Fuck, Adar hated that he couldn’t ask him for help.
He leaned back in his chair at the breakfast table, sipping his coffee as he debated his next move. Oliver would be fine without him for a day, but what message would staying away send? His traumatic background didn’t excuse his behavior, but it was a factor, both in what had caused it and in how Adar should treat him. He was fragile, especially mentally, and Adar had to take that into account when dealing with this.
He sighed. Truth be told, he didn’t want to stay away from Oliver. It would be the easy way out, pure conflict avoidance, but it would only make the problem bigger to deal with tomorrow or the day after. If they were to have a future together, they also had to learn how to handle setbacks like this, so communicating was key.
