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“Plus, I could read your thoughts and feelings just now, Roth. Something wasn’t right with them. They seemed kind of artificial, too sweet, like an additive of some kind. I’ve never come across it before. I don’t think you did those things, but until we look into it more I can’t be sure.” Jezzie’s soft words had his brain recoiling as if struck and confused.
“Got anything stronger than water in this place?” Nithe queried. “I think we need to lay all the cards on the table and figure this out. You’ve missed a lot since you left, and while it might feel like an info dump, you need to know some shit. I’d rather be drinking my way to drunk if I’m going to rehash the shitshow of my past again, thanks.”
Without a word Roth retrieved four shot glasses and a bottle of tequila from the cupboard and placed them on the round table before he sat in one of the six chairs and braced himself for whatever the fuck was about to hit him next. He watched as Jezzie grabbed a knife, some limes, and a shaker of salt before she sat and set to work prepping them. He threw back a double shot of the fiery liquid before one for each of them and another for himself.
It was a good thing he did because by the time Jezzie and Athon were done informing him of the possible traitors in their home and Nithe had revealed the full extent of his past trauma, Roth felt like he’d taken a hit to the brain from a train. It definitely wasn’t the copious amount of angel tequila. Ramiel being his father was just the cherry on the weird ass cake.
He looked down and saw that Jezzie and Athon each held the hand of a man he viewed with newfound respect and understanding. What he’d been through with Raum caused the fire of hatred to burn bright in his chest, urged toward higher flames by the fact Jezzie had witnessed some of that monster’s depraved acts both in person and in Nithe’s memories.
Nithe had told them how Jezzie had saved him, saved his dragon. How she’d helped heal his invisible wounds enough that he could function. That while he may never be how he was, while he may never be free of the scars, he was free of blame and guilt. He was free of shame. And so Roth’s hope grew wings ten seconds before his face hit the table and the lights went out
When he came to, he found himself on a pile of blankets in front of the lit fireplace. Two bodies were pressed up against his and as he shifted they snuggled closer. Jezzie’s long red hair was spread out over his chest in a tangle and Athon’s unique scent filled his nose. Contentment settled over him, until he realized something . . . someone was missing and looked around.
“It’s all good, enjoy the peace. Today is a new day, or night as it were, and all that jazz. It got cold so I lit the fire, hope you don’t mind.” Nithe was seated on the couch. The tequila bottle in one fist rested on his knee. Roth could see the memories swirling, the PTSD that had been triggered by speaking his truth.
“You okay?” Such a cliché thing to ask someone who clearly wasn’t okay, and as such he expected the look of sarcastic amusement Nithe sent him.
Then the male winked and with a small smile said, “I will be. She helps.” He nodded at Jezzie. “So does Athon. You do too, you know, and if you come to your senses we’ll help you too. Raum fucked me up in more ways than one. The situation with Ramiel isn’t helping, and now Mara, but our girl can whoop anyone’s ass and so can we, together.”
“I doubt it’s going to be that easy, dude.” Roth sighed.
“Nothing worth having ever is. Dreams don’t come true just because you wish upon a star and want them to. Reality is a fuck ton messier than that. You and I know that better than most. Plus, you’ve been around since creation, so I’m sure you’ve seen some shit, grandpa.” Nithe laughed and Roth chuckled, he pulled the pillow from under his head and tossed it at the lug with the smart mouth.
Jezzie snort-snored and Athon turned over.
“How long have you been awake?” Roth asked as the others slowly roused. He untangled himself and stood on unsteady feet, his eyes glued to the bottle gripped tight in Nithe’s hand..
“This stuff is lolly water,” Nithe responded, acknowledging the direction of his gaze with a sad smile. “Does jack shit for my dragon side. A nice little buzz though. You’ve only been out about two hours. I couldn’t sleep, so I made you all comfy and sat here pondering existence, life, the universe, all that existential shit.”
“I’m sorry for being an asshole to you. I’m sorry for what you went through with Raum.” Roth’s apology was met with a flinch at his monster’s name.
“No need for that. The only one who can apologize for Raum, is Raum, and he never will. Even if he did, it would be worthless. Early breakfast?” Nithe shook off his melancholy mood and jumped up.
In the kitchen area of the room he quickly set about frying bacon and eggs, preparing buttered toast and brewing some extra strength coffee. Roth watched on, giving the male his space and reflecting on their similarities and their differences. He felt unworthy in a lot of respects. He’d hurt them all, and he knew he couldn’t take it back. Could he even go back? Leave this place and put them in danger? Face his family? Would Luc even let him come back?
“You’re projecting, you know?” Jezzie wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his back through his shirt. “Everyone wants you back, Azi. We can and will fix this. Mara, the bitch, will meet her retribution. We’ll make her pay together. We love you.”
“How? How can you love me after everything I said to you all, did to you all?” Shame and guilt threatened to swallow him whole.
Athon stepped in front of him and took his face in his hands. He drew him closer and gazed into Roth’s tormented eyes as Jezzie stepped back and let him go.
“Azaroth, my love, you are safe in my heart. You need never hide from me, not your pain, nor your torment, or your scars.” Athon reached down, removed the leather cuffs at Roth’s wrists, and gently caressed the exposed scar-roughened skin beneath. “Not your fear, your rage, or your jealousy, your joy nor your indecision. And most definitely not you love or your desires, for me or our girl, or anyone else. Rest assured you are secure in my love, in my heart, as you have always been, as is Jezebeth, and even Nithe. Nothing, and no one, can break us apart.” Athon stared deep into Roth eyes, into his soul and something in him started to shatter, to soften.
Athon stepped back and Jezzie slipped into his place. He looked at her, not sure what was happening or what to say. She pulled him down by the collar of his shirt and placed her lips close to his.
“Just listen. I may be Lucifer’s daughter, Azi,” she murmured, her lips brushed against his with every syllable. Her tongue darted out to wet the plump flesh and licked at his, as if she couldn’t resist sneaking a taste of them. “But I’m a woman fully grown, and I am completely capable of choosing who to spend my existence with. That our shadows agree is a decided bonus, but the choice is ours and no one else’s. I choose you, Azi, if you’ll have me. I choose you. I choose all three of you. My heart belongs to you all, eternally. Even when you make dumbass decisions, and we need to track you down and drag you back . . . No one will ever tear us apart. They can die trying though.” Roth leaned back, his lips parting, preparing to speak, but Jezzie placed a single finger against them, and shivered as if his warm breath sent tingles over her skin, before she continued.
“And if you don’t want to come back? Then we go where you go. You will never be alone, my love, never again. Don’t worry about Dad either. Who do you think called Leraie in and convinced her to send us here?” Her smile lit the room and Roth couldn’t help but respond in kind.
A flicker of movement behind Jezzie had Roth’s wary mask slip cautiously back into place. Looking over her shoulder he knew Jezzie caught sight of Nithe pushing his lean body away from the kitchen bench when she stepped to the side and slightly away. He’d almost forgotten the male was there at all, but of course where else would he be? He’d been making breakfast after all.
Resisting them and walking, more like running away, had been one of the hardest moments of his life, and denying the temptation to race back to her arms and take back his harsh words had been torturous in the extreme. So he was loath to let her go now. Especially without knowing what Nithe was planning to do. He felt like a bit of a coward at the thought.
Nithe stepped toward Roth, eyes deadly serious. They softened as he came chest to chest with him. He tilted his head, almost as a lover would, his gaze pinned Roth to the spot. What the fuck was the guy up to? Nithe was the one major wildcard in this whole scenario, besides whatever Mara had planned.
Nobody had been expecting the half dragon, half angel to firmly wedge himself into what he and Athon had always assumed would be their own little triad. Nithe had more power to destroy them than anyone else, because Jezzie would be destroyed if he ever forced her to choose between them, whereas Roth and Athon had always known they were a package deal. What did they really know about the guy anyway in terms of how he really felt about them? Roth knew hardly anything until a few hours ago because he’d fled pretty fast upon finding Mara’s note using the realization Lucifer was Jezzie’s dad and her link to Balthazar as an excuse to leave. That little note from Mara had fucked with his head a lot, he could admit that. It had ignited his fight or flight instincts.
He didn’t get a bad vibe from Nithe, but he hated unknowns. Unknowns usually led to trouble. A warm hand slid behind his neck, cupping Roth’s nape in the warmth of his palm, bringing his face a hair's breadth away. Nithe drew in a deep breath, and slowly released it, his lashes fluttering closed before they suddenly snapped open, and a light shone in them the likes of which Roth had never witnessed before.
