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“He does not understand me.”
“He does. That was what spooked you.”
She shook her head. “Only you ever really saw me. Maybe I did not handle that as well as I could have. If I had, we would probably be together now.”
“No, we wouldn’t. I’m not taking potshots at you here, I’m simply being honest. What we had would never have gone the distance. And you would never have stopped wanting to make me into a yes man. Ever.”
“I didn’t want to change you.”
“Yes, you did. You would have kept at it. And it would only ever have resulted in my walking away. Not that any of it matters now.”
“Of course it matters. I matter to you. We were happy once.”
He fired an incredulous look at her. “Ishtar, you don’t know how to be happy. I doubt you even want to be. You enjoy drama far too much. It’s what makes you feel alive.”
“I felt alive with you.”
He cocked his head. “Do you really think that suddenly coming across as someone willing to be open with me about what you feel will actually change anything?” Because that was what this little speech was—an attempt to manipulate him.
Ishtar’s nostrils flared. “She’s just a mortal. What’s so special about her?”
“A whole host of things. One of which is that she doesn’t ask me to be anything other than who I am. She never holds my difficult personality against me. She accepts everything about me, flaws, monster, parentage, and all. You had that once with Seth. You threw it away, because that sort of contentment isn’t truly what you want.”
“But it’s what you want?”
“Yes, it is. It’s what I have with Wynter.”
Ishtar’s shoulders sagged slightly, and she delicately lowered herself onto the chair again, her head bowed. “I . . . I don’t want to be unhappy,” she whispered.
“Then do something about it.”
“I tried to when I woke, but you would not give me a chance. And then you were all about her. She took my place.”
He frowned. “Your place?”
“Even when we were not together, I was the main woman in your life.”
Oh Jesus. “No one was the main ‘anything’ in my life.” He’d held himself apart from everyone to varying degrees, solitary and self-focused. Until Wynter.
“Now you’re just trying to hurt me.”
“No, I’m being honest with you so you can move the fuck forward.” Anyone other than Ishtar might have done so already. They would have recognized that he was serious about Wynter and simply let things lie. But Ishtar had never allowed herself to take his feelings for or his commitment to Wynter seriously.
Again, a knock came at the door.
“Come in,” Cain called out.
Maxim took a step into the room. “Sire, the conduit from Aeon is back. He says that Adam and Abel wish to speak with you again.”
Well, well, well. “I take it the conduit is waiting at the manor.”
The aide nodded. “He’s been placed in the blue parlor again.”
“I want people searching for any signs that he isn’t alone,” said Cain, rising from his chair.
“It’s done, Sire.” With that, Maxim left.
Ishtar smoothly stood. “I will contact the other Ancients. We will wait for you in the room next to the blue parlor as we did last time.” After they both vacated the room, she turned to Cain. “I hate her. The witch. I won’t hurt her. But I’ll never like her. I’ll never be happy for the two of you. I don’t have that in me.” And then she strode off.
