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A lick of longing tugged at my belly.
I wished I had a mother. A real one. Not one that abandoned me. Or one that spent my entire life trying to kick me out.
I tilted my head, toying with my next words. “Have you noticed something about the moms here…?”
“Here as in this household, this city, this state…?”
“Here as in around us.”
Not that there was an us, but Dallas felt like an actual friend. I couldn’t help but latch on to her warmth.
“Hmm…” She tapped her lip, pausing. “I actually don’t know much about Oliver’s mom, but Romeo’s leaves much to be desired. He mostly calls Constance his mom.”
“Constance?” My jaw dropped. “As in, Zach’s Constance?”
She grinned, nodding. “I know. It seems impossible, but Romeo said she wasn’t always like this. That the Constance he remembered used to be warm. She packed him lunch every day because she didn’t want him to eat junk, picked him up from school with Zach, and personally taught him math, which she once lectured at the collegiate level.”
“Constance Sun,” I repeated.
“That’s the one.” Dallas traced circles on her belly. “Rom told me that, after her husband died, she became a zombie. When she finally snapped out of it, she transformed into a different person.Rigid. Full of rules. Humorless. Rom thinks Constance is afraid that, if everything isn’t perfect, something bad will happen again.”
I lay on the pillow, considering Dallas’ words. Losing someone tragically didn’t excuse bad behavior, but itdidexplain it.
Grief rewired your brain. The quiet moments became the loudest ones. The only way to shut it off was to make your life louder than your mind.
I, of all people, could attest to that.
Which gave me no right to judge.
And still, I couldn’t help but resent her for the way she made her son suffer. Even ifheconstantly mademesuffer.
I nibbled on a corner of cieple lody without really tasting it, though it must’ve tasted good because Dallas’ eyes rolled to the back of her head.
She nudged my arm, wiping crumbs off her chin. “Hey, what’s eating at you? You were a complete firecracker the first time I met you. You look…down.”
“Everything’s fine.”
Was I convincing her or myself?
“Try again.” Dallas snorted. “In this friendship, we only do honesty.”
“It’s my birthday today,” I admitted.
“What?” She paled, jumping up to her feet in an instant. Well, as fast as she could with an entire human in her belly. “Are you kidding me? What are you doing here? We should be celebrating.”
“There’s nothing much to celebrate.” I stared at the desserts, swallowing saliva. “I don’t have any family, and all my friends are in Korea.”
“Not all of them.” Dallas opened the closet, saw that it was empty, and shut it. “I’m here, and I have some gorgeous clothes to lend to you for an unforgettable night. All you have to do is say yes.”
“No.”
“The music downstairs is amazing. The food is divine. Besides, no one will recognize you. And I won’t leave your side at all.”
“The answer is still no.”
“Oh, come on, Farrow.” She bent her knees, pressing her palms together, begging. “You can’t deny me. I’m pregnant and vulnerable. What if my water breaks early because of you? You’d have to move to another planet to hide from my husband, and then we can’t binge eat our way through Earth together.”
I couldn’t afford to binge eat my way through Earth, both financially and practically if I expected to win any gold medals in this lifetime.
