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“Are you going to abandon me, too?” I don’t know why I ask him with such desperation, but I do.With tears in my eyes.“You’re… going to toss me aside as well, aren’t you? The moment my value is but pennies… you’ll let me go, too. You… won’t… be fascinated by me anymore.”
He slowly shakes his head from side to side, giving me a hint of relief as I take a few breaths.
“I… shouldn’t be panicking,” I admit, yet my tears continue to stream down my flushed face. It feels so hot in here.Everything is hot and spinning.“Zander… and Ares. They’redifferent. I think they are. Deep down… they care. I don’t think it’s an illusion. I want to believe it’s real.”
I lower my head, looking at my shaking, bleeding hands. I lift them again to admire the damage I’ve done, and I wonder if this person before me is witnessing how dangerous I am when I lose myself to these emotions.
When the alcohol isn’t strong enough to steal my unstable sanity.
“But… Domino. Fucking Domino. He ignores me every chance he gets. He doesn’t defend his own. He does everything to please everyone in power who he thinks will give him a ticket to glory. Walks with that cunt…” My hands grip to fists just thinking about the red headed bitch.
I don’t expect this mysterious person to wrap his black-gloved hands around my fists, stilling them from further shaking. I lift my head to peer up at him despite not being able to see his face, let alone his eyes.
“Did you see me on the field?” I whisper with a bit of hope.
He slowly nods.
“I… I hit every target,” I press and dwell on this sense of achievement. Almost like when you tell your parents you accomplished something. It leaves me to wonder what I label this man as. “I proved to those assholes that I’m not just a resting bitch face slut. That I have value.”
His hands lightly squeeze mine, and I hope that’s a way of reassuring me that I’m right.
“I don’t like that Scarlett woman. There’s that Jeremy guy, too, who’s done things. He thrives on belittling me the last few weeks during class. He also preys on me. The guys haven’t noticed that he watches me when I enter the changing room before class and afterward when I leave. He’s planning something, you know…” I whisper. “That Moonshine man wanted to borrow me tonight because I’m useless to Domino. Hetold him I’m nothing but a slut. I’m an appetizer to him. Despite me being forced to be around him. Despite… humiliating me… in front of his fucking father. That… that raping bastard…” I’m trembling again.
Tears streaming down my face.
The world fucking spinning.
“Always pleasing everyone but me. I’m the one doing the most. Sacrificing the most. He can’t see shit. Will never see my value. I’m… not important to him.” I bet my eyes show how much I’m pleading for that fucker’s attention. I hate it.Hate him for making me this fucked up.
“He’s fine with getting blow jobs from my mouth, but he’s walking around this place with that bitch? Everyone knows she’s a slut, but she can do no harm. He treats her with enough respect to keep around but avoids being around me… the one who’s doing the most. The one… who would be forced to continue playing this stupid game when my value is fucking nothing. Pennies in comparison.”
I sniff and huff, shaking my head furiously. I stomp my feet, and it’s only because of this person’s grip that stops me from pulling my fists out of his hold and punching anything to get the dangerous spike of rage out into physical destruction.
“If he knew how fucking valuable I am... I can be royalty! Fuck! He’d WISH to have me at his side! Yet, he hasn’t earned it. He barely acknowledges me! I… I could disappear right now, and he wouldn’t notice…” I trail off as whimpers consume me, and I fight the urge to break down and cry. “I could run away here and now, and he’d be happy. He wouldn’t panic or care.”
My shoulders sink, and I lean forward until my weight is against this person. They don’t push me away or flinch from the touch. Instead, they let go of my hands, only to pull me into a hug while they lean back against the door.
The musk cologne hits my nostrils with hints of sandalwood, leather, and I dare to say, gunpowder. It should frighten me that I’m touching a stranger, a man. A dangerous, cunning man with an intriguing obsession with bunnies.
I like the bunnies. The tiny gifts and clues. I like his attention. Makes me feel valuable, important, and a cherishable asset to his daily existence.
I’m putting my life in the hands of a stranger…
“I bet you… that Moonshine guy just wants to rape me,” I mutter. “To see what the hype of me is all about. He has that same look. Same look… as Mr. Leighton. Same look as the guard. All the same look.”
That haunting look in their eyes objectifies me until I’m forced beneath them, pinned by their strength, and paralyzed by the fear of being taken advantage of.
“Domino has that look from afar. He just doesn’t know it,” I mutter and try to push away, but my body has no strength. “He’s waiting for the opportunity. To claim me because he can… but you know… it frightens me.”
I don’t know why I’m confessing this to a stranger.
To someone who can use it against me.
I’m too far gone to regret it.
“‘Cause he looks just like him. Eyes filled with fury. Nostrils flared. Breaths ragged, and his muscles tense and rigid. The time will come. I know it will… but I don’t think I can handle it. Cannot run away from the inevitable.” I try to lift my head to peer one more time at this mysterious masked being. “I can’t handle that pain again, Bunny.” I mean every word. “I’m not strong enough to fight back again… leaving me broken… with no value… nothing to prove I was waiting for him. The right him…”
I know I don’t make sense, but I don’t care anymore.
