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Instead, she’s quiet and withdrawn, and I have a feeling I’ve upset her. I don’t have the time or patience to work out why, though. I have the funeral to organize, and I need to get back to work.
I don’t see Aroha much for the rest of the day. She keeps to her rooms, or sits on the deck with Leia, and I spend the afternoon and most of the evening in my office, organizing the funeral and the wake, and telephoning friends and distant family. When I eventually take a break, I come out to find she’s cooked a stir fry, dished it up, and left a portion on a plate under foil for me. I go over to the door to the west wing, open it, and listen. I can hear her singing, and a quiet splash of water. She’s bathing Leia. I close the door again, reheat the stir fry, and eat it alone. I don’t see her again for the rest of the day.
The next day, I rise early and discover the kitchen and living room empty and quiet. When I go out onto the deck, I hear her singing to Leia and realize she must be sitting out on the patio in front of her room. She’s choosing not to see me.
Frowning, I go into the kitchen and find that she’s moved the bottle warmer and formula, presumably into Leia’s room, so she can prepare her bottles in there. Puzzled, I eat breakfast alone. While I crunch my cornflakes, I muse over what I could have done. When I first put the idea to her, she said no, and she called it a stupid, offensive idea. I still don’t understand why. It was a business proposition. I make ten of them a day.
James, you’re asking me to stand up in front of witnesses and swear to love you for the rest of my life.
They’re just words.
Not to me.
I frown and poke my cornflakes. I suppose the problem is, at that moment, she was thinking of marriage as a sacred religious bond, whereas I was thinking about it purely as a means to an end. But I’m not asking her to marry me in church. It’s nothing to do with religion or God. It’s not sacred, for crying out loud. I know the stats—half of all first marriages end in divorce. Half! And that statistic goes up for second and third marriages. Couples promise to love one another until death parts them, then conveniently forget that commitment when they’re tired of one another. Vows not taken in a religious context are meaningless words. When not carried out in church, marriage is just a legal contract that can be severed by another piece of paper, and the emotional connection between the two people is irrelevant. It’s no more binding than when you buy a car.
But I understand that for some people it is, and she told me her parents go to church. I suppose my proposal must have appeared somewhat shocking if she thinks of marriage as a holy order. Maybe she thought I was degrading the religious institution. Well, hopefully she realizes now that I just meant it as a business arrangement, and I didn’t mean to upset her.
It is a long commitment, and I guess that might also have worried her when she first thought about it. She’s young, and single, and the notion that she might have had to wait two years before she started dating someone new could have upset her.
Is that what I’m saying?
I frown. I hadn’t considered that bit of the arrangement. I wouldn’t want her to bring men home because it’s important that we maintain a semblance of a happy marriage until Leia is legally mine. But I guess she could still go out on dates, if she was subtle about it.
I glare at my cornflakes. A million dollars is a lot of money. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that she waits until Leia’s mine. Six months isn’t long. After that, she can move out and do whatever she likes.
I push the bowl away, feeling irritable. I need to clamp down on my emotions right now, or this whole venture is going to drive me mad. Yeah, I would have made more sense to pick a partner I had no attraction to. But unless I advertised and interviewed strangers for the role, there is literally nobody who fits the bill. The women I’m closest to—Juliette, Gaby, and Missie—are married or have partners. I don’t want Cassie or any other previous girlfriend who might cause me no end of emotional trouble. I want someone calm and practical, who understands the situation, and I thought Aroha fitted the bill perfectly.
She’ll be fine once she gets her mind around the idea that this is just business, I’m sure of it. She told me her family comes first, and I’m sure the notion that she’ll be able to help her parents out of a financial hole will smooth things over between us eventually.
Talking of which, I need to tell her a few things. As she’s keeping to herself, I’ll have to write them down. I fetch my laptop, and compose a letter to her while I finish my coffee.
Dear Aroha,
I’m off to work in a minute. I hope the two of you have a good day at home in this lovely weather.
I just want to jot a few thoughts down. First, I wanted to say thank you for agreeing to do this for me. I appreciate that it’s a long commitment, and also that I might have upset you by treating marriage so lightly. I do apologize for that. I realize I have quite different views about it, and I honestly didn’t mean to trivialize what you obviously see as a serious institution. I was focused on Leia, and after deciding to raise her myself, my thoughts were only on what was the best way to achieve that, and to stop Blue getting her. I picked you because you’re so down to earth and calm and good with Leia, and I like you, and I thought we could work well together to ensure that Leia remains here with me.
I stop for a moment. Does that sound a bit manipulative? I purse my lips. Oh well. It’s the truth.
I continue writing.
I am sorry if I hurt your feelings or insulted you though. That was never my intention, and I hope you can forgive me.
Now, about the money. It’s best if I pay you the million dollars once we’re married, as I can open a joint account and transfer the money into it, and you won’t have to pay tax on it that way. I’ll open the account and get you a debit card for it once you’re Mrs. Rutherford.
I stop again and stare at the screen. I wasn’t sure I’d ever type those words. For the first time, it strikes me that Aroha is going to be my wife.
I give a short laugh. Wow. My missus. The old ball and chain. I never thought I’d have one of those. I chuckle as I continue typing.
In the meantime, I’ve left one of my credit cards under this note, and the pin number. Feel free to use it to buy anything you or Leia need. You can also use it to get cash out, if you need some to give to your parents.
Mid-morning, a guy from the local garage is going to be delivering a new Range Rover. It’s in my name for tax purposes, but it’s going to be your car. If you’d rather have a driver, I can arrange that, but you’re named as the main driver on the insurance. Just sign for it, and feel free to take it out for a spin.
Later, maybe we can talk about Leia’s room and making things more permanent. Have a think about how you’d like to decorate it as a nursery, and we can organize some decorators to repaint it.
I try to think of what else to say. What would she like? What might cheer her up?
Would you prefer to get her another bassinet, or new equipment? What about clothes and toys? And for yourself, too. What do you need? Why not treat yourself to some clothes or jewelry today. You can do a fashion show for me later!
