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The others lift their glasses. “To Maddie.”
I lift my glass and take a mouthful of the amber liquid. My throat tightens, though, and for a moment I can’t swallow. I lower my glass to the counter, holding a fist to my mouth as I wait for the spasm to pass.
Alex puts a hand on my shoulder. “I found a photo,” he says, taking out his phone. He scrolls down, then turns it around to show us. It’s of all of us at Henry’s wedding. Maddie is in the center, half-laughing, half-wincing as a semi-drunk Tyson tries to kiss her cheek.
We all laugh, and I rub my nose as I finally manage to swallow the mouthful of whisky.
“Come on,” Henry says. “Bring the whisky, Alex. Let’s go and sit on the deck.”
I follow them out there, relieved that tonight, at least, I’m not alone.
Chapter Fifteen
Aroha
I change into my summer pajamas—a cotton tee and shorts—and clean my teeth. I haven’t bathed Leia, but Marina told me she’d given her one earlier, and anyway it’s getting late, and Leia’s asleep. Never wake a sleeping baby! I’m happy to live by those rules. Tomorrow I’ll try to have more of a routine.
I bring Leia into my bed without waking her. Part of me wants to think about what’s happened, and the moment when James looked as if he was going to kiss me, but I’m worn out by all the emotion the day has brought, and I end up dozing off.
It’s around eleven thirty when I rouse, conscious that Leia is making noises next to me. I’ve no doubt her routine is all screwed up, and it’s been about six hours since her last bottle, so she’s probably hungry and ready for a dream feed.
I pick her up, murmuring to her, and she quietens, looking up at me with her big turquoise eyes. “So like Uncle James,” I murmur, lifting the mat onto the bed.
I change her quickly, then lift her into my arms and walk out of my room and down the corridor. As I open the door, though, I stop as I hear laughter and the sound of men’s voices. Oh damn, the guys are still here. I should’ve thought of that. I hesitate, touching my no-doubt-wild hair and realizing I’m not wearing any makeup, but there’s nothing I can do. Leia needs feeding, and I’m not here for a beauty pageant.
Muttering under my breath, I go through to the kitchen. The guys are all out on the deck, feet up, talking and drinking. Hopefully I can make her milk quietly.
But as I take the bottle of boiled water out of the fridge, she starts crying. The guys look over, and James puts down his drink, rises, and comes into the house.
“Hey,” I say, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you’d still be up.”
“That’s okay.” He smiles. His hair is rumpled, and he looks more relaxed than he did earlier. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s fine, she just needs a feed.”
“Want me to make the bottle?”
“Oh. Okay.” I rock Leia, watching him scoop the formula in, shake the bottle, then run it under the hot water, an expert now. “How are you?” I ask.
“Yeah, all right.” He shakes the bottle and tests it on his wrist. “Good to go.” Still holding it, he gestures with his head toward the deck. “Come and sit with us for a bit.”
“Oh God, no, I’m not even dressed…”
“Come on.” He takes my hand and tugs me.
Reluctantly, I follow him outside. It’s a little cooler than it was.
“Hey,” the guys all say, smiling.
“Come and sit here,” James says, moving up to make room on the outdoor sofa.
“Thank you.” I sit between him and Henry and prop my bare feet up on the low table in the middle. Alex and Tyson are in the chairs on the other side. “Um… James, I’m so sorry, would you mind getting one of Leia’s blankets from my room? It’s a little cool out here.”
“Oh, of course.” He gets up again and disappears inside.
I start feeding Leia, and she stares up at me with her big eyes as she sucks.
“Would you like a drink?” Henry asks, gesturing at the whisky bottle. A third of it has vanished, so they’ve made good headway.
