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He sighs. “Phone calls: the police, the funeral home, Dad, some relatives. I don’t know whether I’ll find out about the coroner’s report today. They might wait until they find Blue.”
“When do you want to get Leia’s bassinet?”
“I might ask Henry to go over and get it. He won’t mind. If there’s anything else you need, just let me know.”
“Are you going into the office?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Not today. My head’s not in the right space. The guys might come by later. Gaby and Juliette both want to see me and Leia.”
Leia stirs, then mewls. “Hey sweetie,” I murmur, sitting up and laying her on my shoulder. “Are you hungry, pepe?”
“Want me to make a bottle?” he asks.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. You stay there.” He gets up and goes inside.
I’ve brought her bag out with me, and I lay her on the mat and change her while I think about the look Alex gave me last night, the way he put a finger to his lips when I came out to see James holding his niece, and then winked at me. He wants me to encourage James to have a relationship with Leia. I’m guessing he thinks that James shouldn’t give her up for adoption, judging by the way he asked me my opinion as to what James should do.
I wasn’t lying when I said that James shouldn’t keep her out of duty or guilt. I believe a child is better with people who love her. I have a cousin who has adopted two children, and she doesn’t love them any less than she would if she’d given birth to them.
After saying that, I think it would be too easy for him to say that because he’s single and young and knows nothing about handling a baby, he should just give her up. Maddie named him Leia’s guardian for a reason. She obviously wanted him to have Leia should anything happen to her.
I put the used nappy in one of the lavender-smelling bags and place it in the change bag, then lift her into my arms. She starts crying, and I stand and rock her while I wait for James. A few minutes later, he comes back onto the deck and holds out the bottle. “Actually I need to pop to the bathroom,” I say. “Can you hold her for a minute?”
“Sure,” he says, although his voice doesn’t hold much enthusiasm.
I wait until he’s seated, then turn Leia and place her in his arms. She’s still wailing, and he winces as her cries obviously cut through his headache, and looks up at me in alarm.
“She’s just hungry,” I say.
He tips the bottle up and touches the teat to her lips. She takes it and starts sucking, quieting immediately.
“There.” I bend and kiss her forehead. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
Leaving him to it, I go to the bathroom, taking my time. I return to the kitchen and call through, “Want a coffee?”
“Please,” he calls back.
I use the machine to make us both a cup, then bring them through to the deck.
He’s sitting quietly, looking down at his niece as she takes the bottle.
I put his coffee beside him and sit on the sofa. He doesn’t ask me to take her, seemingly content to watch her feed.
“You should play us a song,” he says.
My eyebrows rise. “Oh, okay.” I go in and collect the acoustic guitar and bring it back out. I check the tuning quickly, then strum a few chords. “Any requests?”
“I don’t know any songs for children.”
“Well, firstly, I’m sure you do. Twinkle, twinkle, little star? Yeah, I thought so. But the songs don’t have to be for children.” I start strumming Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely.
James laughs. “Songs in the Key of Life is one of my favorite albums.”
“Mine too.”
He sings along as he feeds her, and for some reason my face warms as he tells her that we’ve made her from our love. She’s not ours, of course. He didn’t plant his seed in me, and it didn’t grow into a baby in my womb. But Leia has connected us in a way I don’t think either of us expected.
