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I wanted Kasha to be afraid, yes. But I wanted her to be afraid that I would never let her come, while my fingers worked her to the precipice of oblivion. I wanted her so scared that she would literally pray for it, pray that maybe this time, I would let her fall over the edge.
I wanted her to be afraid of how hard I might bite her, while I was buried deep inside of her. I wanted to drown in her fear, while she screamed and screamed and begged me for release. I wanted her afraid that I would never let her go, and to be terrified of how much she wanted me, needed me.
The type of fear that was rolling off her in that moment, was not what I wanted for her. It was tainting the scent of her, and was making me want to murder someone. So, no. I wasn’t going anywhere. Not until I knew who the fuck it was I would be murdering.
“What was that thing talking about?” I asked, and she refused to look at me. I took a step forward, eyes narrowing. “What did it mean when it said ‘so many violations?’” I pressed.
Finally, she whirled to face me, “What the fuck do you care, Rycon?”
I narrowed my eyes again, taking another step forward.
“I care.” I said. “Tell me.”
She was watching me with so much distrust and suspicion, that it made me want to say a word I think I may have said less than a handful of times in my entire life. “Please.” I finally gave in, after a long pause.
She stiffened, dropping her eyes. The overpowering aroma of fear turned to the stink of shame, and suddenly, she didn’t need to tell me. I knew.
You didn’t work as a mercenary for as long as I have without being exposed to a significant amount of sexual abuse, rape and assault.
Rape had never been my thing, I liked my females willing. Sue me.
But I had been with many women who were survivors. I knew the look, and was familiar with the crawling stain of humiliation and self-hatred that seemed to follow them wherever they went.
“Shit,” I breathed, and she looked at me, her large brandy eyes swimming with unshed tears.
“How long?’ I asked.
“Over two hundred years.” She whispered, and I suddenly lost my grip on reality. My vision went red and the panther that lived deep in my chest growled and stirred. I beat the beast back down, refusing to allow myself to shift, but my skin rippled with the effort.
“When I was a slave, because of my gifts, I was a very valuable commodity in Ash Nevra’s sex trade. I’ve played the part of anyone you could imagine. Lost mates, hated mothers, and forbidden lovers. If you can dream it up I can guarantee that I lived it.” She told me.
I couldn’t move. I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing. The thought of anyone touching her was enough to make me want to go on a fucking murder spree. Two hundred years of torture and rape? There wasn’t enough blood in both worlds to make me feel like justice had been served.
“When Amon was finally able to free me, I was barely a shell of who I am now. It took over ninety years for me to come back from what was done to me. I’m still not fully there. I may never be.” She whispered.
Well no fucking shit.
I took another step forward. I was moving slowly, carefully. I didn’t trust myself to make any sudden movements. One, I didn’t want to startle her, and two, well… I felt like I might shift at any moment.
She didn’t back away from me, and I took that as silent consent to continue my slow approach. The scent of shame intensified with each step and her tiny freckle-dusted face flushed. She looked down again, and I wrapped my hand around her jaw firmly and tilted her head back up, forcing her to look me in The Eyes.
“Names.” I growled. I knew that it didn’t matter that there were two hundred years worth of names to remember. She would know and remember every single one.
“You can’t kill them all, Rycon. There are too many of them.” She said, her voice was delicate and broken, rushing over me like a thousand tiny paper cuts.
“Like fuck I can’t.” I told her. The corner of her mouth twitched up, and the beast in my chest finally relaxed slightly. We stared at each other for a long moment, and I let her see that I meant it.
“Fine. You’re going to need help then. Guess I’ll have to come with you.”
I smirked at her, letting her go and stepping back.
“After we wake The Origin, we’ll make some house calls.” I promised her, and her tiny smile broke out into a full blown grin.
That’s what I wanted to see.
Her little shit disturber grin did crazy things to my insides.
“Alright. I’ll hold you to it.” She agreed, and I tapped her on her freckled nose before nodding in confirmation.
