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(Mostly. Bridgerton was pretty cool.)
But despite all that, I was still dying to start having sex.
So when I finally got to leave the convent and enroll in university, I entered my ‘open for business’ era.
Yes, I slept with a lot of guys.
(Well, what I could accomplish while having to be back home at the palazzo by 2 AM on Friday and Saturday nights. Weeknights were even worse.)
And no, most of the guys weren’t very good in bed.
None of them were that satisfying. I only came twice, and that was because I took matters into my own hands, if you know what I’m sayin’.
Most of them just sucked. Three minutes and it was over.
A couple of times it was, like, 60 seconds or less.
And I’m only counting the ones who weren’t too drunk to get it up. There were another dozen of those.
Four or five were pretty good. Those were the ones who got invited back.
But even those guys I didn’t keep around very long. I fucked ‘em a few times and threw ‘em away.
Once I got bored, they were gone.
Or…
…once I started to feel something for them.
Were they pieces of shit outside the bedroom?
Well – they were men, right?
But I didn’t find out. Not conclusively. I didn’t let them hang around long enough to show me they were like the assholes who worked for my grandmother. That was one thing I wasn’t about to chance.
I’d heard too much shit sitting on the stairwell at nine years old to ever trust a man farther than I could throw him.
So the vast majority of the guys I went home with were one-night stands. A few I hooked up with a couple more times…
But I never had a boyfriend.
I definitely never fell in love.
Besides, my vibrator was a hell of a lot more satisfying. And consistent, too.
I mean, having sex was fun. Don’t get me wrong.
The best part was the flirting… and the build-up… and the anticipation…
But the ‘main event’ was usually anticlimactic, to say the least.
But if I wasn’t really into the sex, then why do it?
I think it was because I was locked up in the convent and Nona’s palazzo my entire life. Couldn’t do anything, couldn’t go anywhere, definitely couldn’t see any boys.
I mean, I was raised in a literal convent, for God’s sake.
So when I was finally free at 18, I went wild.
