AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Another guy freaked out and never answered my texts again. He was the smart one.
The first dude was a fucking idiot who didn’t understand that if my grandmother ever found out he’d put his dick inside me, he wasn’t going to have a dick much longer. So I was actually kind of doing him a favor by ghosting him.
Ghosting all of them, really.
Saving their lives. Or at least their cocks from getting chopped off.
That’s me… a real do-gooder.
There was another issue with my love life: Venice is kind of a small city. There are only so many nightclubs and bars.
So it happened fairly often that guys would come up to me if they saw me at a club and be like, Hey, how come you never got back to me?
If it had been a one-night stand – which meant they weren’t that good in bed – I’d say, I’m sorry, do I know you?
They’d get all offended and say, We slept together!
And I’d say, It must not have been very memorable, then.
If that didn’t do the trick and get them to call me a bitch and walk off, I’d say, How drunk WAS I, exactly? You DO know it’s rape if you sleep with a girl if she’s too drunk to consent, right?
They always left five seconds later with some really lame excuse.
Not cool of me to play that particular card, I know. That sort of thing happens way too often to way too many women for me to use it that lightly.
But seriously, if a dude can’t take a hint the first time…
All of this was an incredibly long, roundabout way of explaining why I had never experienced the concept of ‘morning wood.’
I’d heard about it, sure. Watched tons of movies with jokes about it.
But I’d never actually experienced it in real life.
And if it was a hard cock under the covers that had been poking me in the ass, well…
Let’s just say that of all the cocks I’d seen or touched, none of them felt even remotely that big.
Some had been fairly big. If the owners weren’t idiots or could last longer than two minutes, those usually got a second chance.
But this…
This was a whole ‘nother ballgame, sister.
I moved my arm a little under the sheets…
And brushed up against something huge.
My eyes went wide.
Whoa.
It was really fucking hot, for one.
Not just sexy –
But it was totally sexy.
With all of the guys I’d ever been with, as soon as we got to their place, BOOM, out came the dick. No mystery, no teasing, no suspense.
